


Light

by deadbythursday



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Not very Rossi friendly, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Slow Burn, Spencer Ried has Daddy Issues, Spencer is projecting daddy issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:09:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 49,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24806743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadbythursday/pseuds/deadbythursday
Summary: Set in Season 3 Episode 13 "Limelight".When the contents of a self-storage unit reveal the grisly early makings of a serial killer, the BAU most profile the contents in order to catch him.AKASpencer Reid doesn't know how to cope with all of his feelings, and Derek thinks that he's impossibly cute.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Comments: 118
Kudos: 565





	1. Chapter 1: Spencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Spencer Reid, along with David Rossi, is sent to the Philadelphia field office to investigate a suspicious storage unit, full of the journals of a deranged man.

The BAU headquarters was filled with early morning light, much to the dismay of one doctor.

See, Doctor Spencer Reid was many things, but a morning person was not one of them. He much preferred the late nights, solving puzzles from UNSUBs and strategizing. He felt most connected to his team then like they all had a common goal to work towards. 

He was also notoriously grumpy in the mornings, and his team wouldn’t let him forget it. Each morning he would trudge in, a cup of coffee in hand, and no one would speak to him until he was at least on cup three. The cute, quirky Dr. Reid didn’t exist in the mornings, but rather a man with a very short fuse.

This probably stemmed from a lack of sleep, as anyone with eyes could figure out that the youngest BAU member had dealt with a lot of insomnia since kicking his drug addiction. His brain tended to work on overdrive without something to stop it. He’d be up all hours of the night, only to finally give in around 5 AM, he’d sleep until 7:15, and be at work by 8. It was quite the rigorous schedule on his body, especially since the rest of the team didn’t arrive until 9, but it was what he lived with. 

Currently, it was 10:00 AM at the BAU, which was still too early for comfort but Spencer was nursing his 4th cup of coffee and slowly his brain was starting up. Today all Spence had to do was paperwork, which he was grateful for. Their last case had shaken him a bit, especially because Spencer himself had watched a witness shoot their UNSUB in the head. He’d seen a lot of death in his time at the BAU, but for some reason, the proximity and ruthlessness of this one particularly left him a bit dazed. 

Maybe it was because Spencer had failed in talking him down.

As he was just beginning his paperwork, he couldn’t help but glance up as Derek Morgan sauntered in. He wasn’t usually late, Spencer knew, he just chose to start his morning off with a cup of coffee in Garcia’s office on non-case briefing days. It was Derek’s own little ritual, which usually concluded at 9:55 AM on the dot. He’d leave Garcia’s office and go to the breakroom, where he’d get his second cup of coffee and fix Spencer his 5th. He’d then walk in, as he’s doing right now, set the cup on Spencer’s desk, and take his own seat on the other side of their plexiglass barrier. 

The first time it happened Spencer’s eyes had flickered between Derek and the cup, Derek and the cup, as the other met his confusion with a grin. He clearly enjoyed ruffling the genius’s feathers a bit. Now though this was routine, and he’d give Derek a smile as a thank you and move on with his paperwork. 

Truthfully, that little interaction was the only thing he liked about the morning.

Just as he was beginning to scribble information down, he tuned in to the conversation happening a few feet from his desk. 

“...an old storage unit.” Rossi finished, holding the paper he had just received out to Hotch. 

Oh, that sounded intriguing, and ‘intriguing’ to a genius was like catnip. 

“A case agent from the Phili field office sent it.”

His footsteps made a light tapping noise as he made his way to the other two men, not missing the questioning quirk of Derek’s eyebrow. He pulled his thick grey cardigan more snuggly around his middle. He opted to hover over Hotch’s shoulder for a look at the pages, very careful not to touch, and he wasn’t disappointed. From what Spencer could glace over in a few seconds (which was a lot, cause you know, genius), it was a diary full of perverted fantasies and drawings complete with torture porn and bondage.

“Future tense,” He murmured mostly to himself, “they’re fantasies.”

Rossi sighed deeply, almost resigned. He decidedly didn’t look at the boy genius and instead chose to acknowledge Hotch. He made it clear that he wanted to drive down there and take a look for himself at the rest of the contents of the journals and the unit.

Spence shifted his weight from foot to foot, suddenly a third party in someone else’s conversation. He subconsciously moved a little further behind Hotch, only an inch or two, as if to protect himself from being dismissed. 

“Alright. Take Reid with you.”

His eyes snapped up to meet Hotch’s for a split second as the pages were thrust into his hands, once again careful to minimize contact. What? Why? Did he just hear him correctly? His eyes then flit over to Rossi, and Spencer didn’t miss the way that his shoulders sagged, or the deep breath he took, or the hand that rubbed over his face in exasperation. 

Hotch was well aware that Rossi preferred to work alone, and was more than aware of Rossi’s annoyance with a certain Doctor. Spencer tended to talk too much. Rossi liked the quiet.

His body moved to his desk of its own accord. Rossi was not looking forward to a 3-hour drive with Spencer, but maybe he could sway him with the right material. 

“Road trip, nice!” He breathed, “I have books on tape with Peter Coyote reading the entire Foundation trilogy!”  
_____________________________

The ‘road trip’ was not fun. 

Rossi had shut down his books on tape within the first five minutes of the drive, leaving Spencer in silence considering he wouldn’t talk either. 

He’s agitated Spencer found himself thinking, it’s all in the body language. Tense shoulders, deep sighs every time I say anything. He must have really wanted to go alone. He still isn’t used to the whole ‘team’ thing. 

Maybe if I talk about the case he’ll open up a bit, realize I’m not just going to weigh him down. 

“You know, looking at these pages it seems-”

“Kid.”

Spencer’s mouth snapped shut, an audible ‘clink’ in the otherwise quiet car. 

“Just stop talking. I’m thinking,” Rossi snapped, “and the background noise isn’t helping.”

Oh. 

Okay.

Spencer didn’t speak for the rest of the drive.  
_____________________________

They reached the Philadelphia Field Office in roughly 3 hours time.

Walking in was an experience, considering all eyes were staring at the two men. Well, at Rossi. Even though Spencer knew the eyes weren’t for him, he was still shrinking a little under the weight of them. How could one person ever get used to so much weight? Did Rossi just ignore all of the fans he had? Maybe he had gotten used to it over time? 

“You learn to ignore it” was Spencer’s answer. 

Another agent bumped Spencer’s shoulder, trying to get closer to Rossi for a hand shake, maybe even a book signing or something but Spencer hardly noticed. He could feel his skin itching under his clothes where he had been touched, and all he could do was swallow thickly to steady his breathing. 

Spencer hated being touched. Growing up, he’d had the physical contact from his mother and his mother alone, and when he’d had to put her in a facility to take care of her he’d had no one. It was like his body had gotten used to a lack of physicality that when it happened, it set him on edge. 

He’d be jumpy for the rest of the day now, carefully avoiding other humans.

Agent Jill Morris was the one they reported to for information, and boy was she a fan. Her eyes had been glued to Rossi the moment that the two of them entered, like a panther who had just spotted its next meal. In Jill’s case, it was more like her next achievement. 

She was quick to offer Dave anything he may need, and supply him with any information he wanted. A quick glance into her office told Spencer why. Her office was full of awards, trophies, plaques, all commemorating her talent and drive. It’s no wonder she was striving to impress the David Rossi. Jill’s actions made sense. She was a fan. She wanted to be recognized by her idol as a talent, someone he could utilize even if it’s just for one case. 

What didn’t make sense to Spencer was Rossi’s response to Jill. 

See, Spencer was a very similar level of fan, almost idolizing David for his work and achievements. Hell, he could quote any of Dave’s books verbatim if asked. Spencer was also sporting his own collection of achievements in academia, multiple Ph.D.s, and BAs. So why, pray tell, did Rossi always brush him off? At first, Spencer choked it up to being annoyed with fans. Now though, with Jill, Rossi wasn’t like that. He was still distant, but there was a certain level of respect there. Why? What was Spencer doing that Jill wasn’t, or vice versa? Why did his hero brush off his usefulness? Why couldn’t he help?

And why did it annoy him so much that Rossi preferred Jill to him?

At this moment Spencer remembers a moment on a previous case when Derek had stood up and called Rossi out for going over everyone’s head. It wasn’t anything major, but Rossi had withheld information as if no one else was smart enough to comprehend what he had figured out. Spencer remembered Derek, strong willed, angry Derek who was finally fed up with the bullshit. He remembered being awestruck, eyes trained on him as the man said what everyone else wished they could have. He had been amazing. 

Spencer wished that Derek was here now. Derek always recognized how useful Spencer was. 

But Derek also didn’t feel this inherent need to show off to those above him, to strive for recognition that would never come. 

Jill began to explain to Rossi the answer to Spencer’s question, much to Spencer's annoyance. She began an explanation of why she believed that they were dealing with a “high order sexual predator” as she put it. 

Eventually, she led the two to what they were really here for; seven boxes worth of repulsive, sadistic journal entries from someone they believed could be a killer.  
_______________________________

The BAU accepted the case. 

The rest of the Quantico team arrived not too long after, looking quite intimidating as they strode through the doors. Hotch always looking intimidating, that was just his face, but when flanked by the stone faces of JJ and Prentiss, plus a leather-jacket-clad Derek Morgan, that was a team of people that you didn’t want to fuck with. 

Spencer visibly relaxed when the rest of his team approached. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be alone with Rossi (though the car ride from earlier was still playing in his head), but he just felt more comfortable with his whole family surrounding him rather than a building full of strangers. 

Spencer hadn’t left the room full of journals while Rossi spoke to Jill, or when Rossi called the rest of the team. Instead, he had stayed put, filing all of the journals within his eidetic memory. He knew that it’d pay off in the long run when they didn’t have time to rifle through all of this again. 

Derek was the first of his team that he saw, in his usual henley, sunglasses, and a leather jacket on top. He looked intimidating, and Spence didn’t miss the way that the men of the station shied away, while the women openly starred. 

Derek’s eyes scanned through the station quickly, looking for someone or something. When they landed on Spencer through the glass walls of the small office, he smiled.

Spencer smiled back.

He’ll admit, it felt good when Derek approached him before anyone else, even Rossi or Jill. Derek moved to ruffle his hair, and Spencer couldn’t help but flinch away. He was still on edge from being bumped by a stranger earlier, but it didn’t seem to bother Derek. Instead, Derek teased him about working too hard, and a hand lingered on the back of Spencer’s chair: close, but not touching.

Spencer almost wished he hadn’t flinched away. He wished he had been able to accept the other man’s casual physicality, but right now it was too much. All he could do was try to relax, and hope that he could accept it later.

Over the years though Derek Morgan persistently had tested his boundaries until he had managed to weasel his way into Spencer’s comfort zone a little bit. Usually touch made him feel vulnerable in a way that nothing else could, and after being held hostage by Tobais that fact had only worsened. Most of the team had given up on him, no longer resting hands on his shoulders or hugging him.

Derek had been the exception to that. 

It’s like he couldn’t take no for an answer, and had steadily begun to initiate contact between them over the years. A handshake here and there, a shoulder touch, a ruffle of his hair, things like that. Now, Derek and his mother were the only two that he could handle contact from. Most of the time. 

It also felt good when the ladies of the station looked a little jealous. Spencer preened under the attention.  
_______________________________

Spencer had been the one to suggest that their UNSUB wanted to try everything he had written about, that finding a specific MO might be difficult. Rossi looked like he agreed.

“Dig deeper, try linguistics, look for patterns in the handwriting. Rossi and I will take the images.”

While all jobs were important, when the team split up it was almost always Spencer who got the deeper, slightly more difficult tasks. Hotch trusted him. 

Rossi rolled his eyes.

Spencer sunk a little in his chair. 

_______________________________

At Hotch’s request, Spencer had immediately gotten to work. They were both well aware that this particular unsub’s MO would be in the details, and lucky enough they had stacks of them.

This is how Reid found himself reading through pages upon pages of sadistic torture methods all under the guise of BDSM fantasies. The journals were all written in the future tense, but with the findings of hair in the storage unit, they couldn’t be too confident that their guy hadn’t killed yet.

Spencer utilized his 20,000 words-per-minute brains to scan over the neat handwriting, detailing suspension, electroshock, rape, and other perversions. Truly it was a miracle that this job hadn’t made him sick yet. This unsub though had not only gifted the young doctor with pages of writings but also illustrations. 

He wasn’t supposed to focus on the drawings, that’s what Hotch and Rossi were up to. However, one particularly caught spencer’s eye as he scanned a page on knot tying. Specifically, an analysis of what knots were most effective crossed with pain levels. This guy was talking about knots like they were art, tying women up in a way that would not only hurt but also keep them securely bound. The chances of an escape were slim, and the chances of pain were high. 

Caramel eyes flit over the illustration of an intricate knot across a woman’s torso and abdominal areas as she knelt on the ground. The rope was holding her arms behind her back, secured by ropes across her front in a very intricate pattern, and then continuing down to tie her thighs and calves together. This way, their unsub could keep her tied up while also leaving himself access to her more private regions. 

Logically, BDSM made sense to Spencer but he didn’t have much else besides logic to go off of. The idea of giving someone access to his body, even going as far as to tie him up and have their way with him was terrifying. 

But if he was so terrified of the concept, why couldn’t he stop staring at the picture?

He let his hand trace over his own veiny wrist, thumb sneaking out to rub carefully over the inside. What would it feel like to be tied up like that, completely at someone else’s mercy? What would it feel like to have his wrists tied above his head, his calves tied to his ankles, spread out for someone else’s viewing pleasure?

The thought was simultaneously confusing, terrifying, and arousing. On one hand his brain was reminding him of when he had been tied to a chair by Tobias, the fear that had coursed through him then. He could still feel small scars from where he’d broken skin trying to escape from those ties. 

Now though that fear was equally being matched by a fantasy of sorts. How nice would it feel to give up control for once? To have someone else make all of the decisions, to let his brain rest? Sex was a confusing concept for the virgin doctor, but even he had needs. Even he had desires.

He’ll admit, the breasts and curves in the image didn’t do anything for him. What did though was imagining himself like that. He imagined that the hands on him would be strong, manipulating his body to be exactly as he pleased. And oh, how Spencer wanted to please. He imagined that in his fantasy he wouldn't flinch away, he’d be able to be touched by another person without fear. He wanted to be taken apart slowly, writhing and groaning, unable to touch and only able to be touched.

Spencer caught himself taking a gulping breath, attempting to slow his rapid pulse. He had been staring at the same image for who knows how long, the paper now crumpled under his grip.

He scrunched his eyes closed, wrinkles knitting his brow in concentration. 

“Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium,” he started, determined to fill his brain with something other than his previous perversions. “Boron, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen,” he would continue through the whole periodic table if necessary, then repeat the process in alphabetical order, backward, by atomic number, anything to force out the thoughts that made him uncomfortable. 

How could he let his mind wander to such places, in a time like this? There was a potential sadistic killer on the loose, torturing innocent women for his sick needs. The fact that he let himself lose focus for even a moment was shameful. He should be ashamed of himself.

“Fluorine, Neon, Sodium,” once he calmed down he would get back to the journals and continue digging. His hands flew to his hair as if he could hold the thoughts at bay. 

“Magnesium, Aluminum, Silicon,” he would figure out which perversion was this guy's favorite, and then they’d be one step closer to catching him.

“Phosphorus, Sulfur Chlorine,” but how would ropes feel around his wrists? Suspending them above his head as strong hands explore his skin, putting him on display for someone to take-

“Argon,” Spencer took a deep breath, eyes closed in a futile attempt to keep his thoughts at bay, “Argon…. A-Argon,” Spencer was squirming in his chair now. Would those strong hands be calloused from work? Would they be gentle with him or throw him around? Which would he like more? “A-Ar- A,” 

“Spence?”

The sound of his name snapped him out of his stupor, and he whipped around in place to make eye contact with none other than Derek Morgan. He was leaning up against the doorframe, hands holding two cups. He was feigning a relaxed posture, but it was clear that he wasn’t as relaxed as he’d want others to think. Morgan had an eyebrow quirked, and questioning looks on his face at the young doctor’s obvious disordered state.

Reid’s heart was still pumping fast, and he was almost panting he was breathing so hard. He knew that he must have been a sight, with his hair a mess from his own hands and his eyes unfocused. Derek was still looking at him with a question on his face, and it was another few seconds before Spencer realized that he still hadn’t answered the other man. 

“Y-yes?” Spencer stuttered out, a blush slowly starting to spread across his cheeks. He dropped his hands onto the table quickly. God, of all people to see him in this state, why did it have to be the one who’d tease him for days on end?

“Just wanted to see how you were doin’ is all. You alright kid?” Morgan’s voice was carefully level like he was afraid of spooking an animal. 

“Yep. More than alright. I’m great, absolutely peachy keen. You know, the rigidity of this handwriting combined with his orderly penmanship makes me think that our unsub was exceedingly calm while he wrote all of this down,” Reid started, rambling off to distract both himself and Morgan from his disorganized state. “That combined with the thin lines in the illustrations-”

“Reid.”

He snapped his mouth shut, swallowing thickly as the other man’s brow knit in further confusion. Why was Morgan looking at him like that? Surely this version of Reid couldn’t be much different than usual? Rossi had even told Spencer to shut up just this morning, only furthering the evidence that was stacked in the ‘Reid-will-talk-forever-if-you-let-him’ corner. Morgan was a damn good profiler, but there is no way that he could know what Spencer had been thinking about. 

Morgan’s eyes were piercing though, trained on Reid as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Eventually, the other agent shrugged a shoulder, and his scrutinizing look melted from his face. Reid let out a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding and finally noticed the cups in his hands as Morgan made his way around the table, careful to keep his distance. He set one cup of coffee in front of Spencer, carefully avoiding the pages, and graciously took the empty seat next to him.

“I was coming to check on you, figured you’d need some coffee after being holed up in here for hours.” He finished his sentence with a dazzling smile, one that could easily charm anyone in its vicinity. Spencer was no exception. Derek had been thinking about him, and Spence couldn’t help but smile a bit back. 

“Oh, uh, thank you. Much appreciated.” He picked the mug up in his hands, looking anywhere but Morgan. He was embarrassed now that he had begun to relax, a blush still dusting his cheeks. He could feel Morgan’s arm blanketed on the back of his chair, occasionally grazing Spencer’s back. He jumped a little the first time, wincing, but he managed to lean back a tiny bit and allow the arm to softly touch him. This was Derek, he was comfortable around Derek. 

“Anything for my pretty boy.” 

Spencer choked on the coffee. 

Morgan was laughing light-heartedly, lightly thumping the younger man to help him rid his windpipes of the coffee. This time, Spencer could hardly focus on the touch as he was red faced and coughing. If he wasn’t blushing before, he sure was now. How could Morgan just throw around pet names like that? Phrases like that? It’s no wonder he had every man and woman they encountered practically melting at his feet. He was a charmer that was for sure. Spencer could only wonder if Derek would have said that had he had known about Spencer’s earlier thoughts, known about his craving for distinctly male hands. 

Once Spencer had stopped sputtering, Derek tsked at him. 

“Now pretty boy, you could have spit all over this guy's journals. We would have had no leads baby, gotta be more careful than that” Derek mused, a distinctive sing-songy tone to his voice. He was playing with him. 

“That was nowhere near my fault.” Spencer’s voice was definitive. He also hadn’t missed Derek slipping in another pet name. 

“Nowhere near? So you didn’t just choke on your coffee?”

“No, I coughed. There’s a difference.”

“Oh, well enlighten me, Doctor. Please, tell me more about choking,” Derek leered, continuing to tease spencer even after he had begun shifting uncomfortably in his seat again. He knew what Derek was implying, and he understood that choking had sexual undertones to it. Spence caught himself wondering how it would feel to have those hands from earlier rest on his throat, maybe apply a little bit of pressure. Before Spencer could stop himself, those hands had a face to go along with them. What would Derek look like, hovering over him? What would Derek’s hands feel like on his wrists, and on his throat?

Spencer stood abruptly, spooking Derek in the process. 

“I figured out our unsubs MO.” He announced to the room, even though it was only he and Derek inside. His eyes were trained on the wall in front of him, rather than the man beside him. “I have to go tell Hotch and Rossi.”

Spencer fled from the room as if he had just been burned, and he didn’t turn back to look at Derek’s face. 

Maybe if he had, he would have noticed the desire in his eyes, or the scoff at Rossi’s name.


	2. Chapter 2: Derek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and the rest of the BAU arrive in Phili to present the profile. Along the way, he plays with the friendly Doctor.

Derek Morgan had a problem, and that problem was one Spencer Reid.

More specifically, his problem was that he couldn’t get him out of his head. 

Spencer was so young, so innocent, it made not wanting him damn near impossible for the older man. He’d catch himself staring at the other daily, missing him when he wasn’t there, craving closeness when he was. 

The only person who knew of his minor obsession was his baby girl. He’d go into her office once a week for coffee and advice. 

When she first found out about his crush, she was more than a little surprised. Now, she was pushing for Derek to 'grow a pair’ (her words) and pursue the younger man. 

What Penelope didn’t seem to understand was Derek’s level of want. This wasn’t just a crush, this was desire. This was a desire to possess his pretty boy in every fashion, in every way. 

Over the years Derek had begun to notice things about the gangly man. Namely, his craving to be acknowledged. Spencer, daily, strove to be noticed by the people he perceived as superiors. He wanted recognition for his brain, he strove to please, and Derek noticed. 

Derek noticed how he would sit up straighter when he was praised, or blush a little, or smile brighter. He also noticed how Spencer would avoid touch or any physicality with the rest of the team. It’s like he was trying to put all of his eggs in one basket, make up for a lack of a physical relationship with a need for praise and recognition. 

And it was plainly obvious that there was little if any, physical relationship in Spencer’s life. He was shy, naive, and he didn’t know what he wanted from life let alone a relationship. 

It only made Derek’s need for him worse. He imagined how that boy would look preening under his praise, and oh how proud he’d be of his beautiful boy. He’d let him know daily, hourly if necessary, and he’d give Spencer the physical intimacy that he didn’t know he craved. 

Derek had an inherent need to take care of people, to make them feel good. It’s part of the reason he was such a flirt; he liked making people blush, making people feel that, for a moment, they’re the center of the universe. He had a unique ability in that aspect. He could make most anyone feel special, and it made him a damn good partner. 

Problem is that Derek hadn’t had anyone to make feel that way. He’d had a few flings here and there, some of them were damn cute too, but they never quite fit. Usually they weren’t okay with his work, or his relationship with Penelope, or his past. They always seemed to find some problem with him, and tried to fix it. 

Spencer though, Spencer was different. 

He was such a generous person, giving all of himself to others who didn’t appreciate him. He was gentle, shy, and lonely. He could see it in the longing looks whenever someone talked about their family, their partner, their children. Spencer never had that, never had that kind of closeness.

It was probably the reason he was so touch starved. Spence would jump whenever someone touched him, grazed him, or got too close, but Derek could see the need for physical intimacy.

Spencer was just so pretty. His eyes were big and so very expressive. It was a shame that he hid behind his hair so much. Oh, how Derek longed to brush his hair away from his eyes with a gentle caress, or tug it away with a strong hand. 

What really got him was that Spencer was so painfully oblivious to his feelings. Derek felt like he was being so obvious, bringing him coffee, petting his hair, complimenting him, teasing him. He knows that at least Prentiss suspected something. She’d made eye contact with him more than once after one of his teasing comments, a knowing look in her eye. It also probably had something to do with the fact that she has definitely seen him admiring Spencer’s ass. 

How Derek was so gone for such a clumsy, lanky man was beyond him. Especially when he was so obviously a virgin.

But those were just things that he loved about this man. Hell, his pretty boy couldn’t even tell that he craved physical touch more than anything, or that he was trying to compensate for no-touch with praise. 

Derek had picked up on how jumpy Spencer was pretty quickly. He’d try to shy away from everyone, even handshakes weren’t okay. He’d jump when people brushed up too close to him, and flee when someone tReid to initiate any sort of contact. 

That is, until Derek. 

He had reacted to Derek similarly at first, but with Derek being the man he is and Spencer being so tantalizingly close, Derek simply had to touch him.

He had started off slowly, a touch here or there every once in a while, then he had upped that to once a day, then multiple times a day.

It was always little things. He’d rest his arm on the back of Spencer’s chair during a briefing, sit close to him on the plane, thighs brushing, or he’d brush their fingers together while handing him something.

Then he’d upped the stakes. He’d pat Spencer’s back, tousled his hair, fling an arm around his shoulders. 

Derek could still vividly remember the first time Spencer didn’t flinch away from him. He’d nearly sobbed he was so happy. 

These were the thoughts he was left with after his morning coffee with Garcia, sauntering in to bring Spencer his next cup. He wasn’t too fond of Spencer’s coffee addiction, but he wanted to be kind. He wanted to let Spencer know that someone paid attention to him. Besides, it made Derek’s whole day when he got a smile in return, or sometimes a soft ‘thank you’.

The ‘thank you’s were his favorite though. Spence’s words were always so soft in the morning, gentle. Innocent. More than once Derek had caught himself staring at those pink lips as he spoke, and later as he sipped from the same mug Derek had brought him. What he wouldn’t give to see those same lips panting, or even begging. 

Derek also noticed that when Spencer wasn’t spouting off information, or talking down an unsub, he was fairly submissive. Even now Derek watched him step behind Hotch, still reading over his shoulder but trying to make himself small.

He knew that his boy idolized Rossi, and he knew that Rossi had experienced that so many times already that he brushed Spencer off without a second thought. He probably didn’t mean to hurt his feelings, but he could see Spence’s eyes get disappointed every time it happened. 

This also didn’t help Derek’s obsession.

Derek didn’t like seeing Spencer sad and disappointed. He wanted to give the other man the attention he craved so much. 

When Hotch sent them away to Phili, Derek wanted to growl, yell, insist he come too. He couldn’t do any of that though, instead, he could only hope that he’d be a few hours behind them. 

He couldn’t help but grin a little bit though, considering that Spencer had forgotten his go-bag under his desk.  
___________________________

His conversation with Spencer had been more than a little fun. 

Not only did he get to sit right up next to his boy and bring him a cup of coffee, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that Spencer was flustered by something. Normally he’d be concerned that something upset him, especially because he was digging through disturbing material, but sitting next to him allowed him to notice a very crumpled page with a very interesting illustration. 

The picture of a woman tied up, combined with Spencer’s flushed face and rapid breathing told Derek everything he needed to know.

His boy had gotten a little bothered by a bondage drawing. 

When Spencer rushed out of the room at the mention of choking, that only confirmed Derek’s thoughts that his boy was a little aroused, and probably equally confused. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

With Spence having figured out their guy’s MO, the team could gather together and present their findings to one another. Combined, they could then make a profile.

“Extra-Linguistic indicators in his writings suggest that he’s most excited by the prospect of electric shock,” Spencer announced. 

They had all congregated in front of a whiteboard, where JJ was talking fast notes on their findings. Jill was there too, standing noticeably close to Rossi.

JJ began scribbling down what Spencer was saying, but Rossi’s next words caused her to hesitate. 

“Be specific.” He ordered the boy genius, “When you’re in a courtroom the judge will demand it. You can’t just make claims without backing it up.”

Spencer stiffened. 

Normally, this would be plainly obvious. However, Spencer wasn’t normal. Very rarely did anyone question Spencer’s findings, and maybe that was a flaw of theirs, but it wasn’t just Derek who tensed slightly at the harshness of Rossi’s words. 

Spencer for all it was worth stood his ground. He swallowed and started to fidget with his hands a little as he defended his findings. “You can see how heavy his handwriting becomes when he writes about it,” He started. “At times he becomes so exhilarated that he actually rips through the page. Our unsub is invested in the thought of electrocuting his victims. His idiolect supports it as well, nowhere else is he as creative in his descriptions.”

The BAU held their breath, waiting for Rossi to continue to argue with him. Derek was tense in his chair, decidedly ready to speak up if Rossi continued to be an ass. The man had such a strange double standard when it came to Spencer. He expected perfection, but withheld the validation and praise that Spence needed. 

“Good work, thank you Reid” Hotch cut through the tension, offering a nod in Reid’s direction. 

Derek watched Spencer let out the breath he had been holding. Smiling a little at Hotch, pleased with himself at the praise.

Now it was time for Derek and Emily to share what they had found in the storage unit, and Derek chose to take the lead on this one. He stood, casually making his way to stand next to Reid as he spoke. He didn’t miss how Reid tensed when their shoulders brushed. 

“Our guy also won’t leave his victim’s clothes at the scene. Instead, he takes them as souvenirs, altering them to fit his own body.”

“Oh, so he’s bisexual?” Jill questioned. 

God. This woman was making it extremely difficult to tolerate her. 

Derek was in the process of opening his mouth to shut her bullshit down when someone else beat him to it. 

“Actually,” Reid articulated, “most crossdressers are heterosexual. It’s fairly common in sexual predators. We also don’t see a single drawing of a man in his journals. Assuming he’s bisexual because he dresses in his victim’s clothes is irresponsible.”

The room went quiet again, and Morgan was grinning ear to ear at the frank shock on Jill’s face. Even Rossi looked a little impressed at how eloquently Reid had put her in her place. Damn. Who knew that he had it in him?

While the rest of the team continued to further the unsub’s MO as it relates to the body that JJ and Garcia had found, Morgan took this moment to nudge Reid. His boy stiffened again but still turned to Morgan. 

“Thanks for shutting her down,” He murmured, voice low, “she was getting on my nerves.”

Reid couldn’t help but give a small smile in response, whispering back a quick “Me too” before he turned back to the rest of the team. 

_____________________________

The rest of the first day was fairly uneventful. 

Hotch and Rossi had gone to the first victim’s house to do some digging, they’d continued their research, and were looking like they were on track to give a profile tomorrow.

This case would have a relatively quick turn around, and they’d hopefully be home by the end of the week. 

Now though it was approaching midnight, and everyone was trudging to their assigned rooms in the hotel that they were staying at. Apparently this hotel only had a select number of rooms to give out, which meant that everyone would have to double up. JJ and Prentiss were together, Rossi and Dave, and then Reid and Morgan.

Deep down Morgan knew that this could only be the work of one Penelope Garcia, and he swore to whatever god was listening that he’d thank his sweet girl for years to come. Maybe he’d even call her tomorrow to thank her. Not tonight though, tonight he’d be busy. 

See, Morgan hadn’t been able to shake his thoughts from earlier. He knew that Reid had gotten a little hot and bothered over the bondage and he just hadn’t been able to shake it. 

Usually, that stuff wasn’t at the forefront of his mind. He had nothing against bondage, but his thoughts usually centered around taking care of his partners, not tying them up. If that’s what Spencer wanted though, Morgan would gladly supply it. He’d give this man anything. 

Tonight he would set a plan in motion. He knew that Spencer craved physical intimacy and touch, but was too afraid to initiate it or accept it from anyone. Over the past few months, Derek had steadily increased how he touched Spencer, easing him in. He’d still jump or stiffen sometimes, like today and their briefing, but often he’d relax. He liked it. Tonight, Morgan would use that knowledge to his advantage.

When they walked into their room together, Spencer first, the first thing Spencer did was freeze. 

Oh, he finally realized Derek thought. I was wondering how long it would take. Not like him to forget those things. 

“I.. I don’t have my go bag” Spencer sputtered out. 

“Huh?” Morgan questioned Spencer’s back. Spencer couldn’t see his grin. 

“W-we took Rossi’s car. I thought we’d go back to the BAU if we took the case. I don’t have my go bag”

“Well, it looks like you’re in luck pretty boy.”

Spencer turned around and eyed him wearily as Derek closed the door. His Spencer was a very specific man, he didn’t like being without his things and he most certainly hated forgetting things. Which is why Derek had taken it upon himself to help out. 

“I grabbed you some extra clothes from your desk before I left. You’re gonna have to borrow one of my t-shirts to sleep in though. Is that gonna be an issue Pretty Boy?”

Spencer looked like he was having information overload, but Derek was a very patient man. He knew he was sporting a grin like a cat who got the canary as he held up the two bags in his hand for Spencer’s viewing pleasure. One was Morgan’s distinctive black duffle, while the other was a smaller bag that was usually tucked under Reid’s desk for emergencies. 

“You grabbed my bag?” he stammered. 

“Yeah, someone’s gotta take care of you.”

Oh, what he wouldn’t give to keep that flush on Reid’s cheeks all day. 

“Thank you.” His voice was so soft, and it melted Morgans insides a little bit. This poor thing sounded like he couldn’t believe someone would remember him, and it broke Morgan’s heart. He’d always remember him, and he’d take care of him when he could.

Reid reached for the bag, and Morgan dangled it carefully out of reach. 

“No no no, not so fast sweetheart. You gotta do something for me if you want this bag.”

Oh, how his flush got redder. Reid swallowed thickly, and practically froze in place again. His eyes couldn’t get any wider, and wilder, and Morgan stifled a laugh at how Reid sputtered and questioned without actually saying any words. Instead of dignifying it with a response, Morgan went and sat himself down on one of the two full beds, bags sat behind him, arms propped behind him too. 

“Now now, come on and sit with me for a sec.” He purred, and he knew Reid couldn’t do anything else but obey. That’s one of the things Morgan loved about him. He was so very obedient. 

“I just want you to tell me about your day baby, that’s all.”

“W-what? My day?”

“Yeah, your day.”

“Oh.”

Spencer was positively perplexed, and Morgan watched the gears turn in his head. He knew Reid had probably been expecting something a lot more extreme, perhaps even something dirty.

But no, Morgan wouldn’t do that just yet. He had a plan after all. 

Rarely did anyone in the BAU pay attention to Spencer when they didn’t need his brain. He tended to talk a lot, blabber on and on about the things that interested him. Other agents wanted to avoid getting sucked into that, so they rarely asked. Morgan, however, thought that it was so painfully cute. He wanted his boy to be able to talk to him about anything and everything, so Morgan would ask.

“My day was average.” He stated.

“Just average?”

“Decidedly average.”

“So you didn’t find yourself fascinated by a very specific drawing?”

Spencer’s blush spread down his chest all the way under his button-up shirt. Much like he did this morning, he gathered up his cardigan and held it around his middle while he crossed his arms. He averted his eyes, looking anywhere but at Derek. 

“My real question,” Derek murmured, his voice husky as he sat up off of his hands and leaned in close to the other, “Is whether you were imagining yourself as the one doing the tying or the one tied up.”

Spencer’s eyes were wide, and he was gaping like a fish out of water. Derek could practically see the embarrassment leaking off of him. It was okay for him to be embarrassed though, Derek was easing him into this. 

“Go get ready for bed Pretty boy.” And that was an order.

Spencer stood up so fast that Derek was worried he was going to fall over. He was obviously riled up, not quite sporting a hard-on but he probably wasn’t too far from it. He was halfway to the bathroom before he seemed to remember that he needed something to change into. He stopped, turned, and slowly made his way back to Derek with his head bowed. 

He mumbled something under his breath. 

“What was that? You’re gonna have to speak up if you want something.”

“I-I need something to wear” He mumbled, wiping his hands on his pants.

He loved how pretty Spencer sounded when he said that, neediness in his tone that affected Derek to his very core. Even if it was just a t-shirt, he loved that he needed Derek for something.  
He pulled his duffle bag from behind him and into his lap. He rifled around a bit before he settled his eyes on the t-shirt he wanted for his Spencer. It was one of his old shirts from college, branded with his university’s logo. He tossed it in Spencer’s direction and chuckled when his genius fumbled the catch. 

Spencer then scrambled to the bathroom, blushing all over his face and neck now, while Morgan took his time stripping. He tugged on a pair of joggers, tossed both bags on the floor by his bed, and waited.

Spencer Reid was a sight. 

The shirt fell to the middle of his thighs, and yet Spencer was still tugging it down with nerves. With his arms hung by his sides Derek couldn’t see anything underneath. His socks were mismatched, one purple and black while the other was yellow and green, and Morgan was so enthralled by the sight that he almost missed Spencer moving to the other bed. 

“Spencer.” His voice stopped him in his tracks, and he looked up like a deer in headlights. 

“Come.”

Spencer’s face was ripe with confusion. He seemed to mentally argue with himself before he approached with caution. 

“You’re sleeping in my bed tonight.”

That sure as hell snapped Spencer out of his daze. Derek knew it would, as the man in front of him was obviously touch starved. He could tell that Spencer wanted to be touched, hell on his good days he’d practically purr when Derek touched his hair. 

“W-what?”

“Get into bed Spencer,” Morgan replied, seemingly unphased by Spencer’s confusion. He had to stay strong. If he wobbled, Spencer wouldn’t listen. 

Derek was determined to give Spencer what he needed. He could plainly see that Spencer hadn’t been sleeping well for months now, and that combined with Spencer’s craving for touch would be what he used to get what he wanted. 

“You haven’t been sleeping well. You’re sleeping with me tonight.” Morgan's smirk was growing by the second. 

“M-Morgan,” Reid was poised to retreat, “W-what's going on, I d-don’t understand what’s happening I-I can’t do that I-”

“Shhhh” Morgan soothed, slowly reaching forward to rub his hands up and down Spencer’s arms. His poor boy was so tense that Morgan feared he’d explode, but he powered on until the stuttering stopped and his muscles relaxed a smidge. 

“When was the last time someone held you while you slept?” Morgan questioned softly.

Hesitation. More tension in Spencer’s shoulders. His caramel eyes were wide with confusion.

“I don’t remember.”

“So let me. Let someone take care of you, Spence.”

He looked close to tears now, or maybe to bolting out of the door. Even though he had relaxed slightly into Morgan’s hands, his body was still poised for an escape. He was fighting his instinct to flee from touch.

“Why?” He breathed. 

“Trust me. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it’d be good for both of us.”

He was met with silence. 

“Lie down Spencer.”

He did. Spencer carefully pulled himself away from Morgans’ hands. For a second Morgan worried he’d go to the other bed, but instead, he drifted to Morgans. He was still noticeably on edge, but he climbed in and Derek counted that as a win. 

Derek locked the door and turned off the lights before he climbed in himself. They weren’t touching yet, but for a split second, Derek felt Spencer shift toward him before pulling back. Maybe it was subconscious. Another win. 

In the dark Derek chooses to move slowly, giving Spencer enough time to feel him coming. He took a hold of Spencer’s shoulders first, rubbing up and down his arms until his muscles relaxed a little. Then he slipped his hands to Spencer’s back, rubbing the tension out there before slowly pulling him against his chest. 

The moment that Spencer’s cheek hit his bare chest, Derek would swear that every bone in his body relaxed, and Spencer’s wasn’t too far either. It was everything he’d ever wanted, having this man pressed so carefully against him. He allowed a hand to sneak into Spencer’s hair, carefully massaging at his scalp while the other continued on his back. It took a while, but eventually, Spencer moved to embrace Morgan too. He was relaxed completely now, his body malleable and sleepy against Derek’s sturdy chest. 

“Proud of you Spence” He whispered into the dark. 

For a split second he would swear he heard a quiet ‘thank you’ whispered against his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all of the kind words about this fic! I hope that you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it!


	3. Chapter 3: Spencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions are high as Spencer begins to contemplate what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: this is where the smut starts, so if that's something that makes you uncomfortable I would advise against reading from here on out.

He wasn’t too positive where he was, but what he was sure of was that he felt good. 

His eyes were closed, but Spencer could still feel hot, slick skin sliding over his, and muscled shoulders under his palms.

He was trapped under someone’s body, someone who was hovering over him and lapping at the skin of his neck. ‘I hope he leaves a mark’ he couldn’t help but think. He’d want to remember this forever if he could. 

It’s like every touch was heightened. Everything he’d normally feel was amplified by thousands, hundreds of thousands, and yet his brain was so deliriously behind his body. He didn’t have to think, all he had to do was feel.

Before he knew what was going on he was flipped onto his stomach, the hands of the other tracing up his bare back. Spencer was squirming like a mad man, looking for friction against the sheets. 

The other was sitting on him though, trapping his desperate hips with his weight. 

The hands made their way to Spencer’s neck, and his lips weren’t too far behind. When teeth bit into his shoulder, he couldn’t hold back a desperate groan. 

“Please, please” he whimpered. Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he was begging for; he just knew that he needed something, anything from the man on top of him. 

It must have been divine intervention when those hands tugged his wrists over his head, securing him to the headboard with a rope that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. 

Oooh, fuck yes. That’s what he wanted.

He tugged experimentally, moaning when nothing gave and instead held him tightly. His forehead was pressed into the pillows, and those hands traced downward now. Over lithe hips, down his thighs, and upward to squeeze the globes of his ass. 

Spencer could feel whoever it was nipping at his ear, kissing at his neck, and when he spoke every muscle in Spencer’s body caught on fire. 

“That feel good Pretty Boy?”

______________________________  
The early morning light was seeping in from a crack in the curtains, shining directly only caramel-colored eyes as they blinked open. 

For a split second, Spencer was deliciously delirious as his brain hadn’t seemed to catch up to his body just yet. Even though he hated mornings, he craved the feeling of an empty head. His thoughts weren’t racing just yet, his body was relaxed, and Derek Morgan had him in his arms. 

Spencer let his eyes droop shut again. 

Derek Morgan had him in his arms. 

Eyes snapped open. 

Oh shit. 

He could feel Derek shifting a bit, probably close to waking up himself, and Spencer’s pulse quickened. 

What on earth had happened last night?

Spencer squirmed in the others tight hold, noticing now that his own leg was wrapped around Derek like he was a fucking koala. It would have been cute if it didn’t press Spencer’s aching bulge against Derek’s hip. He slammed his eyes shut, trying in vain to calm his body down.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

First, it was the teasing, then the shirt, then the cuddling, and none of it made even a lick of sense to Spencer. That didn’t even account for the delicious dream that had invaded his subconscious last night. What did this mean? Did Derek like him? Was he trying to be a good friend? 

It was obvious that Spencer could handle touching from Derek, so maybe this was Derek’s way of trying to help him with his anxieties?

If this was just friendly then why the teasing? Whatever was going on, he for sure had just woken up from one of the hottest dreams he’d ever had, with the object of said dream wrapped securely around him.

He was tucked so carefully against Derek’s chest, his hands trapped between them against Derek’s abs. Derek’s hands meanwhile were holding Spencer close. The one that had been in his hair the night before was now spread out on the pillow, with Spencer laying on his bicep. His other hand was resting on Spencer’s hip. 

He needed to extract himself from this situation as quickly as possible, maybe flee to the bathroom, maybe flee the country who knew. All Spencer knew was that he was straining in his boxer briefs, he was painfully aroused, and Derek couldn’t know anything about it.

“I can hear you thinking Pretty boy”

If it was at all possible, Spencer stiffened even more. 

A strong hand began to move from his hip to up and down on his back, smoothing away some of the tension he felt. 

He swallowed thickly in his throat and did his best to still his body. Maybe if he kept still then Derek wouldn’t notice, and then he would carefully excuse himself when Derek fell back to sleep.

“You talk in your sleep y’know.”

This couldn’t be happening. He must still be dreaming.

“O-oh?” wow Spencer, what an articulate and well thought out response. 

“Sure do” He could hear the smirk in his voice, “Made some real pretty noises.”

Silence.

“What’d you dream about?” He continued to tease, his hand slinking down to Spencer’s lower back.

Silence again. 

This couldn’t be real.

Fuck, what did he say in his sleep? 

“Tell me, Spencer.” Oh god, that sultry voice was right in his ear, just like in his dream. 

“N-nothing” He chokes out. 

“What was that? Can’t hear you, gonna have to speak up.” He knew that Derek could hear him just fine.

Spencer’s whole body was flushed from embarrassment, and his body was stiff as a board. He was still pressed against Derek, praying in vain for his erection to go down or for Derek to let him escape. He’d explode if he didn’t getaway. 

“I-I’m gonna t-take a shower” He squeaked out, finally managing to make his body move. He pulled away from Derek as fast as he could, nearly falling out of bed in the process, much to Derek’s amusement. 

“Hurry back” was the only response he heard before Spencer had enclosed himself in the safety of the bathroom. 

He was panting slightly, and when he caught sight of himself in the mirror he finally saw how crazed he looked. He was still hard, the front of his boxers a little wet from his arousal, his hair was a mess, his eyes were wide and his pupils were dilated. 

Damn, he was a sight. 

Before he could think about it anymore he stripped out of his shirt (Derek’s shirt, he corrected himself internally) and boxers. A shower would clear his head, and hopefully, let him think through this insane situation. 

His eyes were shut and his head was bowed under the spray of the water, letting it cascade down his back with his arms braced against the wall. He didn’t want to open his eyes and see his erection still straining for touch.

That dream had made him so painfully hard, and Derek had only worsened his situation. Very rarely did something turn on Spencer. He had a miraculous way of cock blocking himself from his dirtier thoughts, almost accidentally drowning them out with facts and statistics. He’d usually have gone down by now, but that, unfortunately, wasn’t the case.

He could still feel Derek’s muscle’s body pressed up against him, both from his dream and reality and all at once, he let his hand slide down his chest to take a hold of himself. 

He chooses to bite into his other arm, stifling the noises he was making as best he could as he worked himself. 

What would Derek feel like behind him in the shower, pressing his own hardness up against Reid’s ass? What would he feel like with no clothing between them, only sweat and skin?

He came embarrassingly quickly, spurting onto his hand with a gasp and a whimper. 

___________________________________________

In his haste, he hadn’t brought a change of clothes with him, which left one very embarrassing trip into their room clad only in a towel. He couldn’t make eye contact with Derek, who somehow had a very knowing smirk on his face. 

He found himself scampering toward his small bag (the one that Derek remembered to bring me he reminded himself of) and grabbed a new pair of boxer briefs, a button-up, a tie, and a brown blazer. He’d have to re-wear his pants from yesterday, but that wasn’t too big of a deal to him. 

He was back in the bathroom and dressed before Derek could say anything.

When he exited though, Derek was standing. With all of the nonsense from last night, Spencer hadn’t gotten to fully take in a shirtless Derek Morgan. 

His eyes scanned over a muscled chest and shoulders, downward to abs and a distinctive V. He could see Derek’s happy trail, a teasing map of dark hair that disappeared into very thin joggers. If Spencer let himself look long enough, he could see the outline of something large though the thin, grey material.

His eyes snapped up to Derek’s when he realized what he had been doing, his chest tight and his face flushed. Derek simply smirked and quirked an eyebrow at him before moving to the bathroom for his own shower,

Their arms brushed and Spencer nearly jumped out of his skin. 

It was going to be a very long day. 

_________________________________

Things did not get easier at the station. 

Hotch sent Morgan and Spencer into the conference room to analyze the victimology of the cases that Garcia had sent over this morning. Apparently she had been able to dig up a multitude of cold cases that matched their guy’s MO. 

This meant that Spencer Reid was trapped in a small room with the man who he had jerked off to this morning. 

Fun. 

Spencer tried to keep his brain focused, putting pictures on the whiteboards, and taking quick notes next to each one. He could feel Derek’s eyes on his back, watching his every move. 

After this morning Spencer wasn’t sure how he should feel. 

On one hand, Morgan had been insistent that they sleep together, going as far as to cuddle him and touch him. On the other, Morgan outwardly presented as the straightest man he knew. 

But he noticed me checking him out this morning, he thought, and he didn’t say anything about it.

He could have just been trying to save Spencer his pride by not acting outwardly disgusted. 

He also definitely felt my... Problem this morning and supposedly heard me last night. Yet, if I didn’t know any better I’d say he was flirting with me about it this morning

Spencer’s rapid thoughts left him unfocused for most of the day. He couldn’t seem to keep the case straight in his head, only able to fleetingly write down what they already knew and stare at it as if he’d see the answer. 

Morgan moved to stand behind him, which made all of Spencer’s hair stand on end. Fuck, he was so close that Spencer could smell the musk that was distinctively Derek. 

He felt one of Derek’s hands rest on his hip, while his other reached for an expo marker of his own. Deep down Spencer knew that this was an incredibly unnecessary way to get that marker. He could have easily stood next to him, no touching necessary, but something told Spencer that that wasn’t what Derek wanted. 

“You know, I feel really bad for these women” Derek murmured, low and close to Spencer’s ear.

“Yeah, quite terrible” was Spencer’s response, voice soft. 

“This guy putting all of his perversions under the name BDSM is pretty insulting. That’s not real BDSM” 

Spencer’s eyes flit to the glass separating them from the rest of the station. There were blinds pulled down, but they weren’t closed. Someone could easily look in and see how close they were standing, how Spencer’s eyes were half-lidded, and how Derek was clutching his hip. 

“I wouldn’t know”

“A dom has to take care of their sub, make it feel good for them.” Derek was practically purring now, and Spencer felt a little light-headed. 

“Good how?”

“Good cause they’re getting what they need. Gotta give the little ones what they need”.

Oh, Spencer could feel heat traveling its way south, and he almost groaned out loud. This was shameful, how they were talking. A perverted man was out killing women, and yet Spencer could only focus on the sound of Derek’s voice, and how close he was. 

Derek sounded attached to the subject matter, and Reid allowed his mind to wander for a few seconds. Derek already presented as a very dominant man, giving orders and acting like he owned the place. Spencer knew that he himself had a tendency to follow orders eagerly, and for a split second he imagined how that relationship would translate to other activities. 

Would Derek order him around, tie him up, have his way with him? Was he a gentle dominant, attentive, and slow? Was he a combination of both? God, what Spencer wouldn’t give to experience this man. 

“How do you know that?’ Spencer whispered.

“Wouldn’t you like to know Pretty Boy?”

“Hey boys what have you got for me?” Spencer nearly jumped out of his skin when Jill sauntered in. Derek meanwhile just casually stepped back, sitting on the table nearby.

How he could look so calm and collected was baffling. 

Spencer was quick with his explanation, avoiding eye contact and speaking fast. Jill was the last person he wanted to be around. She still managed to wake up these dark, jealous feelings within Spencer and he wasn’t a fan. He just wanted her to go back to drooling over Rossi and let him do his job. 

“Great stuff boys, keep me posted” She saint, sauntering out of the room just as fast as she came in. 

“She does know that we don’t work for her right?” Derek said, and Spencer let a laugh bubble out of him. It was a nice feeling, being around Derek.  
_____________________________________________________

The rest of their day hadn’t brought them any new information, in fact, it had really just posed a lot more questions. 

The team had taken over the conference room of the police station, filling it with images and paperwork. Spencer found himself a little overwhelmed by all of the information for once. It most likely had something to do with one Derek Morgan’s constant touching. He needed a second for himself, which is how he ended up in the break room, fixing himself a cup of coffee with Emily. 

Maybe this case wouldn’t be as fast as he originally thought. 

“I feel like there’s just something we’re missing,” He said to her, sighing as he watched the coffee brew. “He’s giving signs of both organization and disorganization. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“I relate. But you can’t put too much pressure on yourself, Spence, you don’t have to figure this all out by yourself.”

He knew that she wanted it to be comforting, but it only made his chest tighten a little. Maybe if he hadn’t let his mind wander so much today then he could have figured it out by now. He should be ashamed, thinking the way he had been when there were lives on the line.

“Come on,” she said, interrupting his self-deprecating train of thought. “Police station coffee sucks, I saw a diner on the way in. Why don’t we go and get a real cup of coffee?”

“We can’t Em, the team is still working and-”

“The only one who’s still working is Hotch. Morgan has been mentally checked out for an hour now, JJ went home, and Rossi went out to drinks with Jill. Come on, you can bring your little map if it makes you feel better. I’m sure Morgan would like a reason to get out of here too.”

He knew he should be paying attention, but he could hardly hear her over the white noise playing in his head. 

Rossi? Out to drinks? With Jill?

Why did the thought make him so sick? 

He could feel a little black monster forming in his chest, complete with resentment and bitterness. He didn’t understand why he needed validation from the older man, but the more he didn’t get it the more bitter he became. 

It wasn’t fair, truly. He had so much else on his plate right now. On top of the case, he had to somehow handle whatever he was feeling for Morgan, he didn’t have time to be jealous of some witch he had just met. Over Rossi nonetheless.

“Yeah, let’s go,” He said, cutting off Emily’s continued rambling. He’d go out with some of the team, get some bad coffee, and sit in a diner that was too bright. Maybe the overstimulation would be good for him, considering he couldn’t focus on anything.

Maybe he needed a change in scenery.

____________________________

The diner, like Spencer expected, was bright. It was well into the evening though, so it was relatively empty as the trio slid into the booth.

He and Emily slid in across from each other, and it took Spencer a second to realize that Derek had opted to sit next to him, effectively trapping him. Their thighs were pressed together, shoulders brushing, and Spencer didn’t even have the energy to be nervous about it. He tensed for about a millisecond before relaxing again.

They quickly ordered three cups of coffee, and Derek also wanted a slice of pie which for some reason made Spencer smile. 

“Alright.” Prentiss started, hands clasped on the table like a woman who meant business. 

This is what made Spencer tense. Surely she had no way of knowing about him and Morgan’s new, strange dynamic? Maybe she was going to comment on how close they were sitting? Had she seen them this morning in the conference room?

“Can we please talk about Jill? JJ said she’s trying to name our UNSUB.” She groaned, annoyance obvious in her voice as she accepted her coffee from their kind waitress. 

“Yeah, she’s a whacky one” Morgan chimed in. 

“I have to agree,” Spence said, resigned. “Somehow it makes me exceedingly uncomfortable that she’s excited about bodies.”

“Exactly! And now going to drinks with Rossi? What is she playing at?”

“She does have a lot of awards. Maybe she feels like she deserves her name on a case” Morgan was gruff when he spoke. 

“I think it's quite obnoxious. Her behavior, her gushing over David.” Spencer said into his cup, taking a slow sip. 

When he looked up both of his friends had their eyes trained on him 

“What?” He said.

They looked at one another and seemed to mentally shrug before Prentiss moved the conversation forward.

“Nothing Spencer. What’s going on with your map?”

He’d let it go, for now, he seriously didn’t have the energy to fight against whatever they had just psychoanalyzed. Instead of thinking, he launched into a quick explanation of his map, stuttering a bit midway through when Derek rested a hand on his knee. 

This opened up another discussion about where their unsub could be geographically, and another discussion after that over evidence they had found. They sincerely needed to learn how to put work aside for a second.

Eventually, Emily excused herself to the restroom, and Spencer’s sipped at his coffee as if this didn’t affect him. He was lying to himself though, as anyone with eyes could see that being alone with Derek sent Spencer into overdrive. 

“You did a lot of good work today Pretty Boy,” He said. 

Spencer would have preened under the praise if something else hadn’t jumped out at him. 

“Why do you call me that? Pretty Boy?” He questioned, turning in his seat a bit to face Morgan more fully. It was a question that had been burning him from day 1 but that he had always feared to ask. Maybe he was scared of Derek saying that it was just a joke, or that he was mocking him. Regardless of his previous fears though, he needed an answer.

Everything about him was on edge today. His morning had been baffling, his alone time with Derek had been baffling, and his evening had just left him drained and more than a little annoyed. 

“It’s cause I think you’re pretty” Is the response that snapped him out of his thoughts. 

“W-what?”

Derek chuckled, and murmured “What? No one called you pretty before?”

Before Spencer could stop himself, he shook his head. 

“Well, I guess that’s good for me then,” He extenuated this with a squeeze to Spencer's thigh “Now I get to be the one to tell you how gorgeous you are.”

All of the air was gone from the room. 

Derek’s hazel eyes held no lie in them, that was obvious. His thumb was slowly moving back and forth on Spencer’s thigh under the table, and Spencer himself was gaping like a fish. Spencer had gone from ‘pretty’ to ‘gorgeous’ in a few seconds, and in those same seconds, it felt like his world had been flipped on its head.

“D-Derek why are you-”

“ ‘Cause someone needs to say it.” He finished. “No one gives you the attention you deserve, time for that to change.”

That was the last murmur that could be heard before Emily returned to her seat at the table. This time, it was Derek who started the conversation knowing full well that Spencer was out of commission for a few minutes. 

“To bring it back to Jill for a sec, can we please address how Spence shut her down yesterday? She really had the nerve to be bi-phobic in a room full of strangers.”

“I couldn’t agree more!” Emily was giddy to respond. “Did you see her face? Could you imagine building yourself up over so many years only to have a virtual stranger call your assumptions irresponsible? I would’ve killed to be the one to say something.”

“I was about to if Spence hadn’t beat me to it then she would’ve had to say that shit straight to my bisexual face. That would’ve been hilarious” Derek punctuated his sentence with a bite of pie, and a squeeze to Spencer’s leg. 

“Wow Derek, I’m impressed. Not many men feel comfortable enough to come out in this field.”

He shrugged. “Hard for anyone to tell me shit when I’m good at my job.”

Bisexual. 

Derek liked both men and women. 

As in Derek liked men. 

He felt like his brain was short-circuiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen, we are only getting closer to the fluff and smut that we deserve.
> 
> Seriously though, thank all of you so much for your kind comments!


	4. Chapter 4: Derek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek gets bolder, and tensions finally come to a head. Will Spencer respond to Derek’s advances?

Derek couldn’t help but mentally smirk at Spencer’s state.

He had just called Spencer gorgeous and come out to him in the span of a few minutes. He knew the genius could process a lot of information at once, but Derek could tell he was struggling to process this. 

Derek was getting bolder in his touches, he knew. Holding Spencer’s leg under the table in front of a very attentive Prentiss was bold. Nothing though was as bold as their exchange this morning in the conference room. 

The memory of Spencer, stuttering and pressed against his front was enough to make Derek more than a little hot. He had found himself wandering to thoughts of Spencer bent over the table, or up against the wall, taking everything Derek gave him while the station watched them through the glass. 

He needed everyone to understand that Spencer was his, and his alone. 

That’s why the whole situation with Rossi put him on edge so much. He knew there were no romantic feelings there, that was obvious. Spencer didn’t have a crush on Rossi so much as he wanted validation and attention from an older man. Ever since Gideon left, Spencer has been seeking that attention from anyone, namely Hotch and Rossi. 

Maybe he gravitated towards them because they were a challenge. Sure, Hotch was quick to praise Spencer but it was always calculated praise. Never gushing, never too much. Rossi meanwhile was the opposite. Anytime he praised Spencer it was like it was a chore like he only did it because he was expected to. Derek could see his spirit getting crushed a little more each day. 

More than that, Derek could see a boy who had to grow up too fast, who had to deal with bullying every day of his young life on top of a sick mother and an absent father. It’s no wonder he has issues with male figures in his life, Derek thought, it’s just a subconscious need for a father who’s never coming back.

The thought made Derek’s heart hurt. 

Years ago the team had all vowed not to profile one another, but Derek found himself doing it almost accidentally to Spencer. He wanted to understand him so that he could give him everything. 

Spencer was a boy who wanted to be taken care of, and Derek was a man who wanted to take care of him. Pieces of a puzzle. 

After the three had finished at the diner, Derek had casually paid for both his coffee and pie, as well as Spencer's three (three, really Spence?) cups of coffee. He knew that it wasn’t lost on either of his companions, but frankly, Derek couldn’t give a shit. 

The ride back to the hotel was silent, with the trio splitting up into two cars. Derek kept his hand firmly on Spencer’s leg, taking note of the twitching muscles. He could see it for what it was; he could see past Spencer’s instincts to his need underneath. 

The stark silence in their room was deafening, and as the door closed and locked, Derek took in the man in front of him

Spencer was wired. He was rigid with tension, nerves practically sweeping off of him in waves. What he expected of Derek, Derek had no idea, but regardless Spencer couldn’t keep eye contact and was shifting on his feet. 

“You alright baby?” Derek purred, approaching Spencer like he would a feral animal. His hands were raised to his waist in slight surrender, and he took slow and obvious steps forward. He didn’t want to spook him, that wasn’t part of the plan. He wanted Spence to trust him, crave him, not to be scared to be alone with him. 

“Stop it Derek.” The words were quick, choked, and threw Derek for a loop. 

“Stop what?” He stopped in front of the nervous man. 

“You know what.”

“I don’t. I’d like to know though.”

“Stop this!” He said, gesturing frantically between the two of them, “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and I’m already dealing with so much else in my head I don’t need any more stress.”

All of his words were loaded, clipped, nervous. He sounded like a more defeated version of himself. He sounded like he was asking Derek to stop one thing when he was really asking for help with another. 

At this moment, Derek Morgan was ready to take a chance. He could see he was floundering, and he knew what he needed. 

So, he stepped forward and wrapped Spencer up in strong arms. Spencer, for his part, resisted for a second. He tried to pull away even though Derek’s hands held strong, pushing at Derek’s chest weakly. He didn’t actually want to fight, he didn’t want to resist.

“Relax Spencer, I’ve gotcha” He murmured, talking into Spencer’s hair. 

Oh, that did it. 

Spencer’s body slumped almost immediately against him, his arms encircling Derek’s shoulders as he trembled. He wasn’t crying yet, but it was only a matter of time. 

“Now, tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.”

“Rossi likes Jill more than me. I’m annoying him and he doesn’t like it but it’s okay when she does it,” the words all poured out at once, a quick breath into Derek’s shoulder.

Derek sighed a knowing sigh. He’d have to keep prying to get more than that. 

“Is that really the issue?”

Silence. 

Derek knew it wasn’t, but he couldn’t psychoanalyze him without overstepping. He needed to hear it from Spencer. 

“You’re confusing me” was his whispered response, almost lost in Derek’s shoulder. 

“I don’t mean to be confusing, I thought I was being pretty upfront, baby boy.”

Another beat of silence passed.

“Upfront with what?” He was so quiet it was hard to hear at this point, but Derek had a trained ear for all things Spencer Reid.

He let his hands start to rub away the tension in Spencer’s back, holding him more tightly against his chest. 

“I kind of have a thing for you Pretty Boy. Wanna take care of you.” Now was the moment of truth. He’d bare his heart to Spencer, and how would the young man take it?

“T-take care of me?”

“Yep. Have wanted to from day one.”

“W-why?”

Derek sighed. That was a really loaded question with a lot of really complex answers. His crush had probably just started off as an innocent one before it bloomed into this need to claim and possess. He liked Spencer for so many reasons, his brain, his looks, his quirks, but he wanted to take care of him because he needed to. There was no easy way to explain those feelings. 

“That’s kinda hard to answer Spence. I mean, you can’t really dictate who you’re interested in. I can tell you though that I like pretty much everything about you.”

“That’s not what I asked,”

“Oh?”

“I asked why you wanted to take care of me.”

And now Derek had very little choice in his answer. 

“I see what you need Spence,” he started, his voice carefully levels while his hands continued their ministrations, “I see your need for someone to recognize you, praise you. I know you probably haven’t experienced much in the realm of sex yet, but I can see how much you want to be touched, and I can see how afraid you are of it.

“I want to give you those things, help with those needs. I’ll admit, this started out as just a crush but now I think it’s become more of a need to be around you. Protect you. Take care of you.”

Spencer sniffled but seemed to accept his answer for what it was, continuing to allow Derek to rock him back and forth and rub at his back. This was a pretty intimate moment to be having in the middle of a hotel room. 

“But you could have anyone you wanted-”

“If I can have anyone, I want you.” And that was that on that. 

“I don’t understand why you would want a socially inept-”

“I’m gonna stop that right there pretty boy. None of that. Don’t talk about yourself like you’re too much to be loved.”

Spencer snapped his mouth shut at that.

“I just,” he started again, voice meek, “no one has ever wanted me like this before.”

“Well, I do.”

“But why?”

“I can’t answer that Spence, all I can tell you is that I feel this pull towards you. I wanna be around you as long as you’ll allow me to be. I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a long time, and I think at first I was really afraid of it, and I think I tried to ignore it for a while.”

“Because I’m awkward.”

“No Spence, not because you’re awkward. I think I was just really afraid about liking someone who might not like me back. You did kind of brush off any flirting, I didn’t think you were interested in me.”

“It’s not like that.”

“I kind of figured. Seems like you warmed up to me after a while.” Derek couldn't help but chuckle, and he could feel Spencer smile a little against his shoulder. “I do really like you Spence, eccentricities and all.”

At this, Spencer pulled back from the hug to look into Derek’s eyes. Those caramel-colored orbs held so many feelings in them, but the one that Derek locked onto was hope. His baby boy was hoping that this was true, and all Derek could do was prove it to him. 

“Can I kiss you, Spence?” He whispered, a hand moving up to cup his face. 

Spencer couldn’t resist leaning into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed. For a split second, Derek thought he wouldn’t answer, but eventually, he gave a slow nod. 

Derek leaned in, closing the gap between them slowly to give Spencer time to escape if he wanted to. The kiss was chaste at first, a gentle touching of lips on lips. Yet, Derek felt his whole body come to life. Finally, finally, he could kiss him. Even if Spencer turned on him tomorrow, Derek Morgan could die a happy man. 

He tentatively coaxed a response from the more inexperienced boy, signing into his mouth as Spencer began to kiss him back. He was following Derek’s lead, letting Derek guide him, and that trust made his heart smile. 

He couldn’t let himself get carried away though, pulling back after a short moment. He didn’t miss how Spencer, eyes still closed, leaned in to try and keep their mouths connected. He let a chuckle rumble through his chest and brushed a spare piece of hair out of Spencer’s face. 

“I think it’s bedtime love, you’ve had a long day.”

Spencer pouted, and it was just about the cutest thing on the face of the earth. He eventually pulled out of Derek’s arms, much to his reluctance, and made his way over to their bags to find himself a sleep shirt. 

“And Spence?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to like me back. I’d rather be hurt than make you uncomfortable, so you just say the word and I won't push, okay?” Derek needed to make it very clear that there was no pressure.

Spencer stilled his hands (which had been digging through Derek’s duffle bag, much to his pleasure) and glanced up at the other before answering. 

“Okay.”

And just like that, they got ready for bed in silence. They traded off turns in the bathroom, Derek going first to put on a fresh pair of joggers and brush his teeth. He was in bed while Spencer took his turn, opting to turn off all of the lights except for the lamp in between the beds. 

Derek took these few minutes to think about what had just happened. In a tender embrace, he had confessed to the object of his affections. Spencer had had his heart for years, now what would he do with it? 

Spencer emerged from the bathroom like a vision. His socks were still mismatched, one a solid pink and the other yellow with penguins on it. Derek’s eyes traveled up bare legs to his chest, covered in one of Derek’s favorite graphic T-shirts. Spencer’s hair was ruffled, and his eyes were calculating as he looked between the two beds. 

If Spencer picked the other bed, Derek would be crushed but he’d have to find a way to get over it. He wouldn’t fight, he wouldn’t force Spencer to do anything he didn’t want to do. All he could do was make room for Spence to join him if he pleased.

Spencer was still thinking as Derek mentally spiraled, but eventually, he slowly moved towards Derek’s bed. He climbed in with a swallow and curled up with his back to the other. 

Derek meanwhile let out the breath he’d been holding, and opted to wrap his arms around Spencer’s middle. He’d rub the tension out of his arms, just like he did last night, and hold Spencer's small frame against his chest. 

It was a moment before either of them spoke. 

“I like you too, you know,” Spencer whispered into the dim light of the room.

Derek smiled against the back of his neck, rubbing his nose against the soft skin there for a brief second. “ Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“That makes me really happy Spence, you don’t even know.”

“I’m worried that you don’t know what you’re getting into though. I can be a lot.”

“I’ve worked with you for three years, believe me, I know.”

“But workplace eccentricities are a lot different than emotional ones. I’m not… good at this sort of thing. I might mess it up.”

“How about we sleep tonight, and then we can talk tomorrow yeah? We can layout any worries we have, and then move from there?”

Spencer released a breath, even more tension easing from his shoulders. “Yes please.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Derek leaned across him to flip the switch on the lamp before settling behind him, nuzzling his nose into Spencer’s nape. Tonight, tonight he would allow himself to dream. He’d dream of his boy, in every fashion he could, and he’s allowed himself to fantasize that his dream could be a reality. 

“Goodnight Derek.”

“Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”

________________________

Derek started to a banging on their hotel room door, instinctively clutching Spencer close to his chest. 

“Up up up ladies!” came Pretniss’s voice from the other side, “Our unsub called the station this morning! We have places to be!”

Derek groaned and let his head fall back onto the pillow. Why oh why couldn’t he just have a peaceful morning? Spencer, for his part, muffled his groan into the pillow (oh what a sight that was, Derek thought one of these days he’d be the reason Spence was groaning into a pillow), and he rolled over to bury himself in Derek’s chest. 

This early morning version of Spencer, no matter how grumpy, was probably the cutest thing that Derek had ever experienced. His hair was mussed up, his eyes cloudy with sleep as they blinked open slowly. When Spencer looked up at him from under those long lashes, Derek felt his heart speed up. He knew Spencer could feel it from his spot on his chest. 

“I don’t wanna get up right now” He murmured, “five more minutes.”

“I know baby boy but we have a job to do.”

That was met with a disgruntled noise, and Derek chuckled at him. 

“But ‘m still sleepy” 

“I know you are, but the quicker we catch this asshole the quicker we can go back to sleep.”

“We were supposed to talk this morning” Spencer whined, trying to nuzzle his way further into Derek, “I wanted to talk.”

Derek wrapped him up more securely in his arms, letting a hand slip into his hair while he popped a quick kiss to his temple. 

“I know, I wanted to talk too. And we will. We just gotta catch the bad guy first, alright? Then we can talk about everything, as much as you want.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

And just like that the two were reluctantly detangling themselves, with Spencer being even more unhappy than Derek. His boy had been touch starved for so many years that now that he finally had a taste, he couldn’t let go. It was cute, and it made Derek glow with pride. 

I did that, he thought, I showed Spencer what he needed and now he trusts me. 

They got dressed quickly, with Spencer opting for a button-down and a navy cardigan, and Derek in a simple black long-sleeved. Before they could walk out the door, Derek felt a tug on the back of his shirt. 

He turned to catch sight of a very fidgety Spencer. He was completely ready to go, with his messenger bag slung across his body, yet he was fiddling with his hands, staring at the ground, and planted firmly in place. 

“What’s up kiddo?” Derek was careful to keep his voice level, shutting the door from where it had been open a crack. 

“I-I was just wondering…” Spencer murmured, eyes downcast.

After a beat of no more words, Derek prompted him carefully. 

“Wondering what? You don’t have to be afraid to ask me for anything love”

Spencer deflated a little at that, relaxing slightly and looking up to meet Derek’s eyes shyly. 

“Could I have a kiss before we go?”

The smile that broke his face must have said it all because Spencer smiled back a little and brushed the hair out of his face. 

“I just figured since we can’t at work”

“No need to justify it, baby boy, I could kiss you for every minute of every day and not get tired of it.”

Spencer’s flush was beautiful as Derek wrapped him up in his arms to kiss him slowly. It started out similarly to last night, chaste and shy. Before he knew it though, Spencer was slowly kissing back and relaxing into his arms. 

I could get used to this

_________________________

Throughout the morning Derek caught Spencer staring at him more than once. It always happened the same way: Derek would look up, catch sight of Spencer, make eye contact, maybe smirk a bit to tease him, and Spencer’s eyes would flit away shy with a blush and a small smile. 

He looked like a schoolgirl with a crush, and it couldn’t make Derek happier. 

He absolutely loved having Spencer’s attention, and more than that he couldn’t help but think that it was good for the two of them. It was easier for Derek to keep his fantasies and wandering thoughts in check when there was the possibility of them coming true, and Spencer hadn’t even blinked at Jill or Rossi today. 

When he gets the attention he needs he doesn’t try and seek it out from other places. 

Earlier he had even heard Spencer casually correct Jill once again about the naming of the victims.

“No, I don’t think so.” Spencer had said without hesitation, “I noted usage of the same words in the pages from the storage unit. Referring to them as bleeders are referencing menstruation, not trauma.”

Spencer had been so relaxed that he hadn’t even noticed Jill tense at being corrected, or Hotch smiles with pride. 

Derek also hadn’t missed Spencer walking right past Rossi this morning with only a minimal ‘hello’ on his way to JJ and Emily. Rossi hadn’t missed it either, doing a double-take as the genius chose to occupy his morning with someone else. For the past few months Spencer had talked Rossi’s ear off every morning, but within a night Spencer had done a complete 180. 

It’s amazing what comfort and validation could do for someone. 

Derek had been sent to investigate the scene with Prentiss, while Reid was told to stay behind and analyze the phone call further. 

Normally, Derek would be antsy that he was separated from Spence, but somehow it was easier now that he knew he’d return to shy smiles, fleeting eye contact, and blushing. 

It almost made up for Prentiss interrogating him in the car. Almost. 

‘So what’s up with you and Spencer?” She asked, feigning a casual tone. 

Derek knew that she was damn good at her job, and if anyone could pick up on the minuscule changes in their behavior, of course, it’d be Emily.  
“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on Morgan you know what I mean. Last night at the diner he was a bundle of nerves over Rossi, and this morning he doesn’t even give him a second glance? Not to mention he’s smiling like a lunatic, blushing constantly, and he can’t stop looking at you. So spill it.”

Derek kept his eyes on the road, but couldn’t help the smile that itched its way onto his lips. 

“We talked.” Was his answer. It wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Uh-huh, I’m sure.” The sarcasm was apparent as she whipped out her phone, typing on the small screen quickly. 

“What are you doing over there?”

“You’ll see.”

As if on cue, his phone lit up with an incoming message:

Sexy Mama: DID U SLEEP W/ HIM.

Sexy Mama: IF U DID & I WASN’T THE 1ST TO NO I’M GOING TO LOSE IT

He laughed as he read the messages, keeping track of Prentiss’s smirk in his peripheral vision. He shot Garcia a quick message back letting her know he’d call her later and that he didn’t, in fact, sleep with the boy genius yet before he turned to Prentiss. 

“You're a sly one Emily, I’ll give you that. But I didn’t sleep with him” He gave a shrug with one shoulder, “We honestly did just talk.”

She looked like she believed him a little more now, but there was still suspicion in her eyes. 

“I’m on to you Derek Morgan.”

“Sure you are.”

________________________________________

They made quick work of the scene, and by the time they were back the rest of his team (resident genius included) had figured out the last piece of their puzzle.

Their UnSub wasn’t disorganized, he was intentionally leaving clues. He wanted recognition for his work and was determined to get the FBI to chart his evolution. 

Soon after they had gotten IDs on the two new bodies from the scene, thanks to the hard work of one Penelope Garcia (who had also been texting Derek nonstop at this point) while Jill meanwhile was phoning local newspapers for the press. 

They were making strides quickly, now that everyone’s head was more in the game. 

Derek still needed time for his baby though, so while Jill, Rossi, and Hotch were in the conference room he opted to find him. 

Spencer was tucked away in the smaller room nearby, surrounded by pages of the journals. It seemed like he was looking for more clues, what with the new evidence that had surfaced, and judging by his stack of mugs he’d been there for a while. Catching sight of Derek in the doorway, his eyes lit up, and Derek could visibly see him try and calm himself down. 

“Derek! Hey!”

He couldn’t help but smile at Spencer’s enthusiasm as he plopped into the seat next to him. He draped an arm around Spencer’s shoulders, looking over the pages in front of them. 

“Hey Pretty Boy, whatcha working on?”

“Oh, I’m just analyzing the linguistics again to see if there’s anything I missed before.”

“Baby, I’m not sure if you’re physically capable of missing things”

A blush dusted across his cheeks, and he ducked his head to hide it. A quick glance out the doorway showed a virtually empty station, so Derek took his moment to tilt his face back up by his chin. 

“Now now now, we don’t want you hidin’ from me, do we?” He murmured, his voice low and a smirk on his face.

Spencer looked embarrassed for a moment and gave a quick shake of his head. 

“Good boy. No hiding from me, I like it when you blush.”

“O-okay.”

From there they sat in silence, Spencer looking over the journals and Derek looking at Spencer.   
_____________________________

Gathered in the common room, all hell broke loose. 

It was JJ who started the conversation, a picture of a woman in her hand. At Hotch’s prompting, she quickly explained that a woman’s husband had come in earlier, and she matched the victim type. 

“If you have her DNA you might wanna check it against the hair,” Spencer said, earning a nod from Hotch. 

“What hair?”

“From the storage unit, Agent Morris found it early on. It’s the same color so it might-”

“It won’t match.”

At Rossi’s self-assured tone, the room fell silent. 

There was a weird tension in the air, and Derek picked up on it quickly. With Hotch and Spencer standing at the whiteboard side by side, they looked like they meant business. This new, relaxed Spencer was more outspoken. Today alone he had made a multitude of observations that had led them to where they are now. 

Rossi meanwhile was sitting on the table directly in front of them, JJ to his side, and Emily and Derek seated at the conference room table behind him. He was effectively surrounded by the BAU, and his tone didn’t rest too kindly with them.

There was something competitive in his tone like he was daring the rest of the team to question his authority. The problem with that was not a single one of them would bow to Rossi anymore. Hotch had already established his role above Rossi, the mutual respect that wouldn’t bow in either direction. Then came JJ and Prentiss, who were so headstrong that they wouldn’t follow him without question.

Then came Spencer.

This was Spencer who, if this had happened yesterday, would have clamped his mouth shut and averted his eyes. This was Spencer who didn’t like internal conflict, and who respected Rossi as a hero. 

Was he seriously still trying to shut Spencer down? Derek thought I thought he was past this bullshit need to prove he was smarter than him. He obviously isn’t. 

This new Spencer though, this self-assured Spencer wouldn’t back down.   
“I know it’s a long shot,” Spencer continued, snapping everyone’s attention back to him, “But I think that-”

“She didn’t get the hair from the unit.” Rossi finished. 

Silence. 

Derek watched everyone slowly realize what Rossi had just said, what Rossi had just implied. Spencer was the first to get it, and Derek watched all of the expression melt off of his face. 

Dear god what he must be feeling. Imagine having your idol pick someone else over you, and then protect that person even as they lied to the team. He must be feeling so fucking betrayed. 

Hotch was the next to understand. 

“She lied?” He questioned. It was more of a rhetorical question than anything though, as he powered on, “When were you planning on telling us that David?”

Ohhh Hotch was pissed. Why shouldn’t he be, as a member of his team had effectively lied to get the team to take a case?

“Whatever she did to get us here, we’re here now.”

“It is unacceptable behavior, why on earth are you defending her?”

Hotch’s voice was like thunder in the quiet room. Without having to even raise his voice he had somehow managed to intimidate everyone in the room. Everyone it seems, except Rossi. 

“Because I know what she is! She’s me twenty years ago!”

“She’s nothing like you, Dave!”

“Oh come on Hotch, I know what people think. I took the serial killers mass market, now everyone knows their names but not the victims, right? Somewhere along the line I put myself first, I admit it, I can’t go back and change it. But it’s not too late for her.”

“Actually,” A soft voice piped up amongst the arguing, and all eyes flitted to the doctor once again as he looked his hero directly in the eye. “I think it’s way too late for her.”

Before Rossi could even blink, let alone respond, a detective from the station popped into the room. 

“Missing persons flagged a report that was just filed.”

“Possible victim?” Hotch questioned, definitively ignoring Rossi now. 

“The subject's car was found dealing at a stop sign and there was some damage to the back end.”

“Sounds like a bump and grab.” Spencer piped in.

“She fit his profile, career, agewise?”

“Katrina Townsley, 34, a reporter at the Chronicle.”

“Wasn’t that the newspaper that Jill was on the phone with earlier?” Spencer said, and all at once, everyone began to move.   
_______________

Derek caught Spencer’s arm as the team filed quickly out of the room, pulling the genius a bit to face him.

“Hey kid, you okay?”

Spencer eyed him wearily

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Derek gave him a look and watched as the genius gave in to Derek's probing eyes. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, wrapping his sweater around his middle. He looked away from Derek for a second.

“I’m pissed off”

Derek chuckled at his cursing but gave him a sympathetic look nonetheless.

“About Rossi?”

“Yes! How the fuck can he just lie like that? To us? To m-” He cut himself off, seeming to catch himself in his own train of thought. 

Derek rested his hands on his shoulders, squeezing carefully to prompt him to continue. 

“I-I just…. I feel like he should care more. I know I annoy him, and I know he doesn’t owe me anything, but I just want… I don’t know.”

“He’s not Gideon Spence.”

“I know,” He whispered, eyes downcast, “But I wish he was.”

Derek didn’t care that they were in the middle of the doorway, he pulled Spencer to his chest and wrapped him up in a tight hug. His heart was so broken for this sad boy in front of him. He just wanted recognition from a father figure, he just wanted recognition period. 

Thank God that Derek had gotten to him in time.

“I know baby,” He whispered into his hair, “But I’m here now. I’m no Rossi, but I’m not going anywhere.”

Spence finally dropped his sweater from his hands and sniffled slightly into Derek’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Derek’s middle and whispered into his chest. 

“You’re better than Rossi.”

Derek’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest. He squeezed Spencer tighter.


	5. Chapter 5: Spencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their unsub gets bolder, and Spencer reflects on the past few days.

Naturally, things could never be simple. 

Of course, their Unsub had a vendetta for one Agent Morriss, why wouldn’t he after she publicly addressed him on TV? It made sense that she was, as Rossi put it, their guy’s final chapter.

Needless to say, they had to spread out to tackle as much ground as possible, only able to work with an email sent to her computer from the latest victim, and a cell signal.

Once they realized that Jill had been taken, they worked fast. No one had seen or heard from her in the past few hours, but her car had been abandoned in a parking garage. Her cell single was stationary, and Reid and Rossi had been sent to investigate the scene while the rest of the team worked on finding out who had sent her that email. 

The SUV ride with Rossi was awkward, to say the least.

I mean, I did just tell him that Jill was too far gone, Spencer thought, I wonder if that hurt his ego?

Probably

Regardless though, Spencer couldn’t find himself being bothered by it. He had gotten his fix earlier with a few sniffles into Derek’s chest.

Mmmm. Derek. 

The past 24 hours had been a whirlwind of emotions as it relates to the other man, but now he was just so comfortable. Was that weird? To be comfortable? Something about Derek’s confession, the warmth in his eyes had sparked something in Spencer that he hadn’t known existed. It made him feel seen, wanted, warm. 

Looking back on the past few years of his life, he could see a few moments where Derek had been more friendly to him than other agents or had gone out of his way to do something kind. If Spencer continued to analyze these memories, he’d see himself like every moment. 

Derek had always been on Spencer’s radar as an attractive man. Hell, how could he not notice Derek Morgan? He was built like a Greek god, with one of the most dazzling smiles he'd ever seen and kind eyes. 

In short, he was gorgeous. 

Spencer had been pushing that attraction away though. He couldn’t afford to develop a crush on a straight man, let alone a co-worker. It would make his already complicated life exceedingly more complicated. 

Now though, he had the luxury of a crush, and not only that he had a man who liked him back. 

He remembered last night, wrapped up in strong arms with a confession whispered into his hair. He had seen the hope in Derek’s eyes when he had come out of the bathroom, hoping that Spencer would choose his bed. He had felt the relief when he did, and those same arms had held all of his nightmares at bay.

He’d slept better the past few nights then he had in years. 

He knew that they still had to talk though. Spencer knew that relationships weren’t a strong point for him. He could rattle off facts about chemicals and brain waves, but in truth, he didn’t know what love felt like. When most people were finding themselves in high school and college, Spencer was literally years behind them. He hadn’t had the same luxury that they did. In short, he was so wildly inexperienced in every aspect of romance.

But something about Derek just felt so right. This was someone who was patient, who didn’t make Spencer feel embarrassed or out of place. He just hoped that wouldn’t go away when Derek realized how difficult it would be to love him. 

The parking garage led them to Jill’s phone and car, along with blood on the pavement, but not much else. She had been dragged somewhere else, most likely to another vehicle. 

While Spencer was investigating, Rossi decided to lament about Jill. Apparently he told her to slow down, to check her ego, and honestly that in and of itself almost pulled a laugh out of him.

Rossi? Telling someone to check their ego? 

Spencer couldn’t even bring himself to be jealous anymore. Maybe Derek was right, and he had just been looking for recognition. Now that he had Derek, he didn’t have to fight for attention in other places. 

This whole situation reeks of daddy issues. 

_______________________-

When he finally saw Derek again, it was as he and Rossi pulled up to a cafe. Apparently they had tracked the IP address of the email, and the trail had led them to this cafe where they had also managed to get a description of their UNSUB’s car. 

This whole situation was incredibly tense as Spencer and Prentiss sat outside of the cafe with Derek. A map was spread out in front of him as he tried to triangulate the locations involved in the case. Meanwhile, he would hear Derek somewhere off to his side, feeding Garcia information through the phone.

Spencer was weirdly aware of Derek’s location in relation to himself. It was nice, being close to him even as they were working. Comforting. Spencer also didn’t miss that there was a distinctive moment when Derek put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing carefully as he took a peek at the map. 

Prentiss didn’t miss it either, an amused glint in her eyes. 

Eventually, they hit the jackpot, with Garcia feeding an address to all of their handhelds. This was the moment of truth, they were about to catch their guy and hopefully find these two women alive. 

Derek guided Spencer by the small of his back to one of the black SUV’s, opening the passenger door quickly and rushing Spencer inside. It was strangely gentle though. Even as Derek was pushing him around, he was still so gentle. 

The ride over to the house was silent, a little tense, but a hand was gripping Spencer’s thigh and soon enough they were at the house in question. It was much like their ride home from the diner the night before, only this time Spencer allowed himself to rest his hand over Derek’s.

It’s always an experience to burst into an unsubs house. The team almost never knew what they’d find, and they’d seen it all. Torture dungeons, bodies, half-alive people in boxes. Kicking a door down, one had to prepare themselves mentally for the possibility that they could see anything on the other side. 

When they entered the room where he was working, it was quite the scene. Their first victim was motionless in her underwear on the ground, seemingly tortured until she was unconscious and covered in electrical burns. 

Jill, meanwhile, was zip-tied to a wire bed frame that had been stood upright. He had been in the process of undressing her when the team entered.

As they came face to face with their unsub he was so pliant, willingly sinking to his knees with a smirk on his face. Thankfully, the team made the conscious decision to turn him away from Jill, who was visibly shaking.

Hotch got a pulse on their other victim, calling for a medic while Rossi made quick work of Jill’s bindings, and then proceeded to clutch the now sobbing woman to his chest.

I know what that feels like, Spencer thought, The rescue was almost the worst part. 

He couldn’t help but reflect upon his own encounter with an unsub, tied up and tortured before being found by his team. He had only been able to smell his own vomit and fluids covering his clothes, his body weak as he had been forced to dig his own grave. 

He remembered the feeling of the Dilaudid pulsing through him, making everything easier. 

He had been so resigned, so separated from reality when he had been found. It was like Tobias had cut him open and scooped out any sane, sensible part of him. He’d been a shell.

It had taken every last ounce of mental strength to send his team the clue that led to his rescue, and once it had been sent he simply gave up. They’d either find him or they wouldn't. It’s a good thing they arrived when they did. 

Their sympathy had been something that had taken some getting used to, and more so they had flocked protectively around him as he had been looked over by paramedics and rushed to the hospital. 

Spencer didn’t like to think about that night, even the rescue. There was something about that empty feeling that seemed to haunt him and remembering what it felt like to be resigned to death was scary. 

His paramedics had been kind enough, but there had been so much touching. There had been hands all over his body; taking his blood pressure, temperature, feeling for veins, and holding him down to stop him from squirming away. Vaguely, he could remember someone shouting at them to stop, to stop touching him before he broke down even more. He couldn’t place who it was exactly, but for some reason, Spencer had a feeling that it had been Derek. 

Derek sure as hell hadn’t left him alone in the hospital, that was for sure. He had hovered like a mother duck, fretting over Spencer and barking at any doctor or nurse who made him even moderately uncomfortable. 

Now, looking at the shaking form of Jill as she clutched desperately to Rossi, he could see himself in her more than he already had. This would be something that followed her for the rest of her life. 

He startled as a hand was placed on his back, turning to meet soft brown eyes. Those same eyes held a silent question in them, a quiet ‘are you okay?’ that only the two of them could hear.

He knew he had been staring at her, lost in thought and sympathy, but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to look away. Now though, Derek was guiding him out of the room, away from his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a terribly long chapter, but a chapter nonetheless! Ladies and gentleman this is officially the halfway mark of the fic, congrats for making it this far! Chapter 6 should be up early next week, I have the rest of the fic essentially finished along with some potential one-shots to go along with it. Smooth sailing from here folks!


	6. Chapter 6: Derek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nerves are rampant as the two men finally sit and talk about their situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is smutty. You have been warned.

By the time that they were able to make their way back to their hotel, it was nearing 2 in the morning. 

After Jill’s rescue, they had seen to it that their two victims had been rushed to the hospital. Jill with a minor head wound, and the other for her burns. This case had taken its toll on all of them, but it was clearly having an effect on Rossi, who had insisted on staying at the hospital even as everyone else filed out. 

The whole team was noticeably tired, with eyes itching to shut and sleep. Hotch had made the call soon after they got back to the station that all of the paperwork could be worried about tomorrow, and their plane would take them home tomorrow evening. 

Regardless of how long they’d be there tomorrow, this was their last night in the hotel room and it was eating at him. He knew that he and Spencer still had to talk about the logistics of a potential relationship between the two of them.

Derek Morgan was a man who didn’t get nervous often. Rather, he exuded a confidence that left most other people nervous. He was sure of himself, cocky even, and yet he could feel the nerves deep in his belly. He knew that Spencer needed to talk for his own sake, but more than anything Derek feared rejection. 

He had wanted Spencer for so long, and now that he was within reach, Derek was more scared than ever of losing him.

The door to their room closed behind him and the men quickly began to strip themselves of their guns and badges, a vain attempt at getting comfortable. Today had been full of easy touches, comforting looks, and affection, but that was gone now. In its place was tension.

Spencer made his way to the other bed, sitting down carefully. He looked up at Derek with a rigid spine and his hands fisting in his lap. Derek knew what he was asking for, and with a deep sigh, he made his way to sit on the other bed. 

They were facing each other, ready to have the talk that could potentially ruin Derek’s heart. 

“So,” He started. 

“So.”

“We agreed to talk.”

“Yes, we did.”

Spencer was shifting now, almost impatient in a way. God how Derek wanted to soothe him, kiss the nerves away. That couldn’t happen now though, and it wouldn’t happen until they got this out of the way. 

“I’ve liked you for a really long time, Spence, since the moment I saw you,” Derek started, and the words seemed to snap Spencer's attention back to him. He was listening carefully, a calculating look in his eye as he looked for any lies. Derek couldn’t even bring himself to be offended, rather he let all of his tells be seen. He needed Spencer to believe him. Trust him. 

When Spencer seemed satisfied with whatever he saw, Derek continued on.

“I don’t know what you’re comfortable with, so all I can do is say that I’d really like to take you on a proper date if you’d let me. This isn’t just a crush or just a sex thing, I genuinely like being around you more than I do most anyone else. If you don’t feel the same though, I understand.”

“No no, it’s not that. I like you so much, I just-” He cut himself off with a hand worrying through his hair. If anything Derek’s words had just made him tenser. 

He ran a hand over his head, bracing his elbows on his knees while he waited for Spencer to continue his thoughts.

“I’m not normal Derek,” He started, and when Derek tried to pipe in Spencer only held his hands up, silently pleading to let him finish. “What I mean is that I grew up so painfully fast, I’ve never been in a relationship before. I’m worried that I won’t be able to give you the things you need.”

“Like what?”

“That's the thing is that I don’t know. I don’t know what’s appropriate, or what’s too fast, or too slow. I don’t understand sex or anything like that. I’m wildly inexperienced and I don't want you to go into something not knowing how fucked up I am.”

Silence. 

Ah. So that’s what it was. Spencer was nervous. It made sense, especially with how he framed it. It was completely justified that he’d feel this way, and all Derek could do was reassure him. Prove to him that he would be patient and trusting. 

He would tread carefully, and let Spencer make his own judgment call. With that, he allowed himself to be read, he wanted Spencer to see right through him, see all of his tells, and straight to his heart. Not hiding necessary. 

“Okay. I understand what you’re saying, and I understand why you’re worried,” his voice was carefully neutral, “I don’t think you’re fucked up Spence, hell I couldn’t hold down a relationship for so long because of my past. Intimacy is fucking scary.”

Spencer’s small nod is what encouraged him to continue. 

“I like to think I’m a pretty patient man. I’m more than willing to go at whatever pace you set, and whatever you’re comfortable with romantically and sexually. I’m not gonna pressure you Spence, and I don’t expect anything from you.”

“I don’t understand,” came a soft response. Spence said, his eyes big and trusting. “How can you be so patient? Why are you so willingly putting yourself through this?” He said, gesturing to himself in a distinctly self-deprecating manner. 

“Spence, I can’t stress enough how long I’ve liked you,” Derek tried to gauge Spencer's reaction to that, and when none came, he continued on. “You’re important to me because you're you. I’ve wanted you for so long in so many ways that waiting and working with you is nowhere near an issue for me. Literally not in the vicinity of a problem for me. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I don't want to push you or make you feel like there are all of these expectations because there aren't.”

“But why?” Spence whispered.

“Cause you’re a perfect, pretty boy”

His cheeks pinked. With no response from the other man, Derek continued on. 

“I’ve waited three years to say something to you, and I couldn't go another day with you not knowing how I feel. If you aren’t comfortable with a relationship, I'll back off. If you are and you’re just scared, let me prove to you that this isn’t something I'm taking lightly.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you’re babying me or having to teach me all of the stuff I don’t know.” 

“I like to think I’m a pretty good teacher.” He shrugged, a grin on his face. “But I’ll only say something if you ask.” 

Spencer looked to be taking in a lot of information at once, his knuckles white from how hard he was holding his hands together. Derek didn’t know how to ease this up, but he sure as hell would try to make this a little easier for his baby.

“Spencer, like I said before, I really fucking like you, more than I think I’ve ever liked someone before. I just want to make you happy baby.”

“So this isn’t a joke, you aren’t making fun of me or anything?” Spencer’s voice was wobbling now, and Derek didn’t miss how his eyes were starting to get watery. He could feel the insecurity seeping off of him, an unwillingness to accept love from someone else. Damn, this poor man had been hurt so many times by so many people, it’s really no wonder why he thinks Derek might be fucking with him. 

“What? No baby, I’d never joke about this,” Derek couldn’t hold himself back any longer, and he moved to kneel in front of Spencer on the floor. He looked into Spencer’s scared honey eyes as he stroked his hand along his thigh. “I swear I’d never do that to you, my pretty boy, I’d never. You mean so much to me.”

Spencer stifled a sob, swallowing thickly as he eyed Derek wearily. There was so much hope, so much longing in him, but it was all buried under years and years of trauma and walls. 

“I don't know why this is so hard for me to accept.” A few tears escaped.

“I know that it’s a lot to process, but it’s the truth, Spence. You could profile me as many times as you want and that would stay the same every time”

Spencer was crying now, his tears running down his face to drip onto his knuckles. His body was responding to Derek’s hands though, slowly relaxing. He knew what Spencer wanted, what Spencer needed, and he wanted to provide that for him. He wanted to be the one who got the privilege of loving him, kissing him, fucking him, everything. 

The silence was deafening, but eventually, Spencer’s choked voice made an appearance. 

“C-could we try d-dating maybe?” He whispered, voice raspy, “g-go slow?”

“Of course we can baby, I’d do anything to keep you in my life. Anything you want.”

“O-okay,” Spencer said, allowing his eyes to flutter closed. His forehead came to rest against Derek, repeating another quite ‘okay’ to himself more than anything. 

They shared their breaths for a moment, finding comfort in one another. Derek’s hands hadn’t stilled on Spencer’s legs, and he found pleasure in the fact that he was allowed to do that now. He was allowed to touch Spencer, kiss Spencer, and the thought sent a pleasant shiver down his spine. 

Derek found his mind wandering to kissing soon enough. The thought of kissing Spencer slowly, taking him apart, was more than a little hot. He wanted to hear Spencer’s noises, feel Spencer’s long legs around him. He wanted Spencer.

He was ripped out of his thoughts by his pretty boy swallowing thickly, and pulling back to look him in the eyes. 

“So. Are we boyfriends now?.” He had a half-smile on his face, but Derek could see nerves resting just below the surface. The apprehension wouldn’t disappear overnight, he knew that. It would take a lot of consistency for Spencer to trust his heart with Derek completely, and it was a good thing that Derek was prepared to work for it. 

“I would love to be your boyfriend baby. Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” he breathed, “a thousand times yes.” 

“That makes me really happy.”

“M-me too.”

“My boyfriend, Doctor Spencer Reid.” Derek’s grin was shit eating. Those words sounded so good coming out of Derek’s mouth, and he could see that Spencer liked it too judging by his smile, and his blush.

“My boyfriend the hot, gorgeous, beautiful, smart, sexy Doctor Spencer Reid."

Whatever Spencer was planning on saying next was caught in a gargled noise in his throat. Derek didn’t miss how his whole face flushed, or how his eyes dilated, or how his tongue darted out to lick his lips. 

“W-why so many adjectives?”

“Cause they’re accurate babe. I’m an honest man.”

He was pink in the cheeks, his eyes still red from his previous crying. But, he had a smile on his face now. It was charming, innocent, and Derek was so happy that this boy was his.

“I think it’s time for sleep now, yeah?” He prompted, dropping a quick kiss to Spencer’s forehead. 

__________________________

They made quick work of changing into pajamas, falling into the same routine from previous nights. Spencer’s socks tonight were white with little ice cream cones, and the other was black with tiny stars. Derek’s shirt completed his look, while Derek himself was back in the same joggers from the night before. 

Only moments later they were in bed, with Spencer cuddling quickly up to him and giving off pleased little hums.

Another thing that Derek was noticing was that when Spencer was comfortable, he was vocal. He would make pleased little noises, groan when he was annoyed, whine when he wanted something. God, what he must sound like when he’s wracked with pleasure, back arched, screaming. 

Derek was on his back, with Spence tucked under his arm, and he quickly used his other hand to adjust himself in his sweats. 

“You know, I thought you were straight. I think we all did.” 

“Well, lucky for you that I’m very attracted to men. Preferably cute men, who are also doctors, and who wear mismatched socks to bed.” 

“You have some very specific criteria.”

“I’m a picky man.”

Spencer chuckled, and it was like music to his ears. 

“What about you? I didn’t know you were interested in men.”

He was met with a sigh, and his hand came up to trace circles on Derek’s chest. 

“I always sort of knew that I liked boys, I just haven’t really been able to put it into practice,” He shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t have much experience, but I do know which sex I prefer.”

‘When you say no experience….” He left the rest of the question open-ended, ready for Spencer to change the subject. Much to his surprise, he didn’t. Rather, he sighed again. 

“Yeah, no experience. I’ve tried, honest, it just never worked out.”

At Derek’s confused expression, he continued. 

“There was one night I went out to a bar alone, and I was determined to lose my virginity. I was just tired of it, it felt like some weight I was carrying. Regardless, I chickened out and booked it after the first man approached me. I’m just not good at that kind of stuff, even on my own.”

“On your own?”

That beautiful flush came back full force. 

“I’ve tried doing… that kind of stuff by myself. I got scared.” He averted his eyes now, bowing his head so that Derek could only see the top of his head. He was clearly embarrassed and his voice was small. “But I can practice, be good for you.”

Oh. Oh. 

That went straight to Derek’s cock.

Those pretty little words, coming from his baby’s sweet, innocent, virgin mouth, did things to Derek.

“Oh baby,” Derek purred, using his fingers to tilt Spencer’s chin up to look at him, “You have no idea what you do to me.”

“H-how?” 

Derek shifted, a hand on Spencer’s chest to keep him down while he propped himself up on his elbow. Now, he was looking down at his baby, who was bright red and squirming. He couldn’t hold back a groan, letting his hand snake up Spencer’s shirt to tease at his bare side. He squeaked, jumping, and his eyes were wide and focused on Derek. 

He was going slow though, giving Spencer more than enough time to stop him if he wanted to. He wouldn’t push his boundaries, but he could see the need radiating off of the other man’s body.

“Baby,” he murmured, lowering himself down to barely brush his lips against Spencers. He didn’t miss how his little baby inched upward, trying to meet him for a kiss. Derek didn’t let him, and instead, he held himself just out of reach. “I love how innocent you are, I love how it’ll only be me who gets to ravish you. You’re mine baby, no one else’s.” 

Spencer whimpered.

Derek lowered himself, his lips grazing Spencer’s. 

“Just tell me to stop and I will,” He whispered, his tongue wetting his lips. He wanted Spencer in whatever fashion he could have him in, but he’d rather take a bullet than make him uncomfortable.

“D-Don’t stop.” Was his answer, and Derek couldn't help but groan.

“What do you need baby?”

“P-please…. please D-Derek.” It was choked, it was desperate, but his name on Spencer’s lips sent Derek into a haze. 

Immediately he cupped Spencer through his boxers, pulling a whine from his baby boy. He squirmed and bucked into Derek’s hand. He was desperate for friction.

“You want me to take care of you baby?”

He needed to hear him say it. He needed Spencer to give himself completely to Derek, body and all. He needed Spencer to need him.

“Y-yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, I want you to t-take care of me” His voice wobbled, neck-straining for the kiss that Derek was withholding from him. 

“I’m proud of you pretty boy, I know that wasn’t easy for you to say. I think you deserve a reward, yeah?”

Spencer’s answering nod was frantic, hips eagerly circling up into Derek’s palm.

Immediately a switch flipped. 

Derek finally captured his boys waiting for mouth, satisfaction pooling through him when Spencer moaned in thanks. Spencer’s kisses were sloppy, inexperienced, but he was so very eager to kiss that it hardly mattered. He learned quickly though, copying Derek’s movements and following the pace he set. 

Derek’s hands meanwhile palmed him in earnest. The wet spot on his boxers was only growing, and Spencer’s noises were getting more and more garbled and desperate. 

Spencer’s body was so responsive, arching into Derek’s hand and Derek was mentally cataloging every response. Spencer keened whenever Derek draped over him.

Derek continued to kiss him, getting messier by the moment. He let his tongue sneak out to tease at Spencer’s mouth, and the gasp that he got in return allowed him to slip inside. He took his time exploring Spencer’s mouth, coaxing a response out of his own tongue so that they could tangle together sloppily. He was intoxicating, all warm heat. 

When Derek finally let the other breath, Spencer was pleading with him, his lips pink and wet.

“P-please please please please,” seemed to be the only thing he could say, chanting it with vigor while Derek continued to palm his length.

Derek also couldn’t help but note that Spencer wasn’t small. Rather, he was thick, long. The thought made his mouth water a little, eagerly beginning to kiss Spencer’s begging mouth.

“Damn baby,” He whispered in between kisses, “Where you been hiding this thing?” 

“I-I- ugh ohmygod- I’m only slightly a-above average” He choked out. Even in a lustful haze, Spencer had to correct him, spit out a fact or two. Truly, it was kind of cute. Derek wanted to melt his brain though, make it so that he could only think about Derek and Derek alone. His noises continued for a second, writhing and moaning until eventually, he asks, voice shy,  
“H-how big are you?”

Bigger than you baby.

“Why?” He teased, grinning. 

“C-can’t fantasize a-a-curately if I don’t k-know size” He swallowed, but opened his eyes to meet Dereks. His eyes were half-lidded, dilated so much that Derek could hardly see brown. 

Rather than answer, Derek instead paused his ministrations (much to Spencer’s chagrin), and instead guided one of Spencer’s hands to the thick bulge in Derek’s joggers. Spencer’s hand shot out to take over where Derek left off, stroking himself through soaking wet material.

“You don’t have to fantasize baby, the real deal is right here,” was his answering purr.

When Spencer’s hand came in contact with Derek’s solid dick, he came immediately, crying out as he soaked the front of his boxers. His back was arched, his body wrecked and trembling. His thin fingers clutched at Derek’s cock through the thin material, feeling him in full. 

He was shuddering as he came down from his orgasm, his body going limp against the sheets.

His eyes were shut completely now, his lips were pink and plump from being kissed so thoroughly. Looking down at him like this, his hair was spread out around him like a halo. He truly was gorgeous, all long limbs. He was panting too, his chest moving up and down with tiny puffs of air. 

He looks so beautiful, fucked out like this. Like a thoroughly fucked angel. Imagine how he’ll look when I’m actually inside of him

He’d be gentle at first, certainly, probably the first few times to get him used to it. He knew though, deep down, that eventually, that wouldn’t be enough for his minx. He knew that Spencer would reach a point of desperation when he’d beg to be pounded into the bed, fucked loose, and desperate to be filled. 

Derek was still achingly hard, and he reached down to cup himself over Spencer’s hand. He palmed himself a little, guiding Spencer.

“God, baby you looked so fucking good just now. Love how you begged so pretty”

Spencer was watching Derek with avid fascination, his eyes eventually flitting down to where his hand was cupped. He visually swallowed before his big brown eyes met Derek’s again. 

“What do you need from me?”

He groaned hard, more of a growl from his chest. 

He wanted to flip Spencer over, rip his boxers off, and rock in between his cheeks until he came on his back. He wanted to guide Spencer’s mouth open and slide inside, teach his baby how to suck cock like a good boy. He wanted to open Spencer up slowly with his fingers and fuck his virgin hole open until he couldn’t talk. 

Instead, Derek swallowed, and carefully pulled Spencer’s hand off him. He didn’t need to get off tonight, he had all the time in the world to paint the other man with cum. He didn’t want to push him too far. 

“It’s okay baby, you don’t have to worry your pretty little self about that.”

Spencer pouted, and it was just about the cutest thing. He seemed to be thinking about what to say next, struggling for once to put how he felt into words. 

“Derek,” He started, voice small, “I wanna help you. I want to make you feel good cause you made me feel good.”

Derek nearly came just from those innocent eyes. 

He wants to please me so bad, that fact alone is the hottest thing that’s happened tonight by far. He wants my cock. He’s gonna be the death of me, I can already feel it. 

“Okay pretty boy, you can help me”

Spencer immediately brightened, a grin splitting his face. Derek couldn’t help but smile back at him, the excitement was infectious. 

“Okay, what do you want me to do?” 

Derek flopped back onto his back, gripping his length through his joggers in a strong hand. He let himself rock into his hand, groaning at the friction. Spencer for his part mirrored Derek’s earlier position, propped up on his elbow to look down at him. 

Derek slid his thumbs into his waistband and inched his joggers down to release his weeping cock. It made a small slapping noise when it hit his abs, solid, and at attention. 

Spencer made a soft noise, and his eyes shamelessly stared at him. If he didn’t know better, he’d say Spencer was drooling. 

“Like what you see?”

A shameless nod, a lick of lips. 

Derek guided Spencer’s hand to his cock and began slowly guiding him through strokes. 

Spencer was eager, eyes flickering back and forth between Derek’s face and the motion of his own hand. He was fascinated by Derek’s reactions, specifically when he twisted his wrist at the head and Derek shook with a moan.

It was quick work honestly, Derek had been worked up for days now and had somehow managed to put off fisting his cock at any given moment. He was desperate to cum, and with the picture of Spencer's after-orgasm face in mind, he finished all over his abs. It was quick, long spurts of come that painted his skin, and while Derek groaned, Spencer whimpered. 

He was panting, his cum dipping into the crevices of his abs, and Derek swiped a finger through it. He held it to Spencer’s plump, pink tips for a taste, and a shy tongue flit out. He seemed to mentally shrug at the taste before licking the rest off of his finger. 

“Wanna clean me off, baby boy?” He leered, gesturing toward the rest of his cum soaked abs. 

With a red face and a tiny nod, Spencer leaned down and began to lick up the cum with tiny kitten licks. A hand snuck into Spencer’s hair, whispering encouragements and petting at him while he lapped up his daddy’s seed. 

“What a good boy, such a good boy for me Spencer. You like the way that tastes? Like how my come tastes?” 

Spencer moaned, and when he finished his licking he rested his forehead against the spit-shiny skin. 

“You like being good for me?”

Another nod. 

“Say it,” He whispered, punctuating it with a tiny tug to his hair.

Spencer groaned again. 

“I like being good for you.”

Music to his ears. 

Derek pulled him up into a sloppy kiss, tasting himself on Spencer’s pink tongue. That tongue had just licked up every drop of cum off of him, even off of the head of his now-limp dick. 

When they pulled apart Spencer collapsed down next to him, panting with a small, soft smile. 

“It’s bedtime baby.” He stated, and he was met with a nod from Spencer. 

His boy shifted, grimacing at the wet spot that was on the front of his boxes. Derek chuckled, pulling up his joggers over his clean dick (clean thanks to Spencer), and turned to tug at the boxers. 

“Off.”

“W-what? Why?”

“They’re wet, they’re dirty, and you’re uncomfortable. Just take ‘em off.”

“I-I don’t have another clean pair-”

“And that’s fine. I just made you cum baby, you think I don’t wanna see your body?”

He hesitated, avoiding eye contact like it was the plague. 

“I’ll turn the lamp off first, and you can just slip them off and drop them by the bed. Sound good?”

A moment of hesitation, then followed by a nod. 

So that’s what they did. Derek leaned over to flick the lamp off before he settled back into the mattress. Meanwhile, Spencer slips his boxers off carefully and tugged his shirt down to cover his manhood. Instead of cuddling up to Derek, he rolled over, backing up and silently asking to be spooned. 

Derek obliged him, a hand over Spencer’s heart. 

Unlike past nights, Derek didn’t need to soothe any tension out of Spencer’s muscles. He was relaxed and fell asleep within minutes.


	7. Chapter 7: Spencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fun morning in their hotel room makes Derek and Spencer late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter that is essentially shameless smut.

This time, it wasn’t the light shining on his face that woke him up. Rather, it was heat pressed against his back, rumbled breathing, and something very thick pressed against his bare ass. Derek’s arms were holding Spencer tightly, even in his sleep, and the young doctor couldn't help but nuzzle himself backward. That only pressed Derek harder against his bottom though, and Spence had to contain the noises that his body wanted to make. 

Spencer’s eyes fluttered closed again as he let himself take in the past few days, and the turn his life had now just taken. 

He remembered the night before last, the gentle confession followed by Derek holding him in his sleep. He remembered last night, the reassurance and the mind-blowing sexual experience he had had. Hell, Spencer was sleeping through the night for the first time in years and that was all thanks to the man behind him, the man who wanted him.

I have a boyfriend now, he thought, Derek’s my boyfriend now. 

He found such a sense of bliss from the thought. He was feeling so many new and confusing emotions, all jumbled together and making a mess in his head, but the most prevalent was happiness. He never thought that another human could, or would want to, make him feel this way. He never thought that another person would have the patience.

The fact that Derek wasn’t put off by his lack of experience, or his rather strange personality quirks, was still rather unbelievable. Not only was he okay with his unconventionality, but he celebrated it. Derek liked Spencer, not his brain, not his eidetic memory or his genius status. Derek liked Spencer. 

He could almost cry at the thought. 

He had spent so long with no one, practically raising himself without a father and with a schizophrenic mother. Now, he had someone. He had someone to be proud of, and someone to be proud of him. 

He was so happy to be with Derek, in whatever form it was. He felt safe with him, warm and wanted. 

He hadn’t been like most teenagers his age, he had never gotten the privilege of a real relationship. While other kids were having their first kiss or losing their virginity in high school he had been twelve years old. He had also been the youngest person in his program in college, falling behind socially.

It had always been insecurity, his lack of experience. Spencer was a man of facts, of knowledge, and yet this was an entire field that he had never been able to understand. 

Now though, there was someone who wanted him. Who wanted to hold him, teach him, and guide him through this. The coddling wasn’t missed, and rather it was appreciated. The idea of a big, strong man teaching him how to kiss, how to have sex, it sent a little tingle down Spencer’s spine.

Said tingle is what reminded him of the current situation pressed against his ass. 

Said ass was bare, his cum-stained boxers having been tossed off of the bed last night, and so his bottom was pressed against the soft fabric of Derek’s joggers. A distinctive hardness was nestled in between his cheeks, and Spencer loved it. 

Last night had been mindblowing for him, not only coming harder than he had ever had before but also getting to touch Derek, feel him, had left Spencer’s mind fuzzier than his orgasm had. That’s not even mentioning the bit at the end there. Licking Derek clean, having his hair pet while the filthiest words came out of Derek’s mouth, Spencer had nearly gotten hard again from that alone.

The dominance, the orders, god Spencer loved it. He wanted more of it. 

Just then, the man behind him stirred, groaning into the back of Spencer’s neck and leaving a half-awake kiss there. 

“I love when we don’t have to rush to a case,” Derek murmured, sleep still prevalent in his voice. Spencer shivered at the hot breath against his neck. “ ‘s nice, not bein’ rushed. We can take our time.” He punctuated this with a slight roll of his hips, and Spencer nearly choked it felt so good. He wanted to grind back, to frot against each other all morning long, but all at once, another thought plagued him.

“But no case means we have to go home today,” Spencer replied, and just like that his stomach sank. It was like all of the happiness from seconds ago dissipated as he realized that tonight he’d be back in his own bed, alone, without Derek. 

“ ‘s home bad babe?”

He shrugged, and Derek tightened his hold. His small hip rolls stopped.

“Spence?”

“We have to go home today. As in separate homes.” He shrugged again, feigning nonchalance. “Just gonna miss this is all.”

“Oh,” Derek seemed to only now be considering this fact, and he took a second to collect his thoughts before he continued. “You could just come home with me. I don’t know if I could sleep without you now.”

“T-to your house?”

Is that too fast? They’d been boyfriends for less than 24 hours, was it too early to go and sleepover at Derek’s? Spencer will admit, sleeping without Derek now would probably be next to impossible for him, but the pit in his stomach was now replaced by nerves. 

“I-Is that how normal people do these things? I thought we were supposed to date before sleepovers I-” He was gently cut off by Derek shushing him, soothing him before he could think himself into a pit. It was so natural, this exchange they had fallen into.

“Baby,” Derek purred, popping a kiss onto the exposed skin of his neck, “there’s no such thing as normal. We can do whatever makes us happy. If that’s having a sleepover early on, then that’s what we do.”

“O-Okay.”

“We can stop by your place, maybe pack you a bag, and you are welcome to stay as long as you want. And before you say anything,” Derek said, cutting off Spencer’s garbled reply, “I want you there. All the time. If it was up to me I’d never have to sleep without you. We’re going by your comfort level though baby, so whether that's one day or a week or a month or whatever, that's what we do. Sound good?”

He gave Derek a clipped nod, swallowing thickly but slowly relaxing a little more. Maybe it was some form of separation anxiety, but he felt so relieved knowing that he could still sleep in the same bed as Derek. He wouldn’t have to be alone. 

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“You feel better about going home now?’

He let out a breath, a small smile on his face. “Yeah, I feel better.”

“Good,” Derek murmured, and Spencer didn’t have to turn around to know that he had a sly grin on his face. He felt Derek’s hips move a little again, smaller than before like he was trying to gauge Spencer’s reaction. Spencer, for his part, whimpered, which seemed to spur the other man on for another roll of hips. “Cause I feel better too.”

Spencer couldn’t bring himself to respond. Even though he wasn’t being touched, it felt unbelievable to have Derek rocking against him, holding him securely against his chest while his cock moved against his ass. 

Derek’s hands slipped under his shirt, and Spencer could feel them spread out on his chest and belly. He felt contained, surrounded by the other man. 

It wasn’t enough though. It was so close to being enough, but Spencer was a needy man. 

He reached a hand back toward the other, fumbling at Derek until he caught hold of the joggers finally. Spence wanted them off. He couldn’t articulate that though, and he was having a lot of trouble making anything other than pleased noises as Derek’s hips kept up their movement.

Derek understood though, Derek always seemed to understand. He could just tell what Spencer needed. One of his hands slipped off of Spencer’s chest, tugging quickly at his own waistband to get rid of anything in between them. When Derek’s cock came into contact with Spencer’s cheeks, they both gasped, and Derek peppered kisses wherever he could reach. 

“Fuck baby,” He breathed, letting his precum-slick length slid between Spencer’s cheeks easily. Spencer could feel Derek catch at his hole when he rocked, and it pulled a garbled, desperate noise from him. 

He wanted Derek so much that it hurt, his own cock hard against his hip.

Derek was fucking slowly, letting his cock slide in and out and catch his furled hole with every thrust. 

“Please, please Derek,” Spencer breathed, moaning as he clutched the pillow that was closest to his head. He didn’t even know what he was begging for at this point, he was just so full of need. It was hard for him to wrap his head around what his body was begging for, he’d beg and plead until Derek understood.

Derek reached a strong hand around and took Spencer in his hand, and pumped him in time with his thrusts. Spencer was already slick, his cock had been weeping the whole time. He could feel the wet spot on the sheets and Derek’s shirt but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Everything felt so good, and if just grinding felt this good he couldn’t help but wonder how more would feel. What would it feel like to have Derek inside of him, stretching him? Would it hurt? Spencer’s lack of experience shined through in his thoughts, but he could hardly bring himself to care. His fantasies had always adjusted themselves to be attainable for him, just sweat-soaked skin and roaming hands, but for the first time ever he was able to learn with experience. He just wanted Derek, and the feeling of the sweaty many pressed against his back, even rucking up the shirt so their sweat-soaked skin could glide. 

“Fuck baby,” Derek panted, rocking his hips faster, “ Fuck you feel so good, can’t wait to slide inside you.”

Spencer nearly choked, his legs twitching as his cock was jerked hard and fast. He hardly could speak. 

“W-want that,” He managed to choke out, “W-want you so bad.”

And boy did he want. He wanted Derek to guide him through all of this, bit by bit, and experience by experience. He wanted Derek to touch him, guide him, and do things to his body that no one else could.

Jesus listen to me, he couldn’t help but think, I went from never having sex before being completely and utterly gone on this man. I didn’t know that this could feel like this. 

His hips moved clumsily, fucking back into Derek while fucking forward into his hands. He felt lips on his neck, teeth nibbling. He could feel Derek’s sweaty chest against his back, his cock fucking into Derek’s palm, but mostly he could feel how hard Derek was fucking his cheeks. 

Spencer felt like he was edging up a steep drop on a rollercoaster.

When he finally came, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He splattered into Derek’s waiting palm with a guttural moan of the others' name, his thighs quivering and his body tense. He could feel himself shaking with aftershocks, but his brain was clouded. He felt so light, floaty. He felt far away from his body, and yet so good. 

Derek followed him soon after, cum spurting on Spencer’s back and the sheets. It was hot, thick ropes, and the fact that it was painted across his skin now made him whimper.

Vaguely Spencer could hear Derek talking to him, rubbing at his stomach and murmuring low in his ear. Spencer though, he couldn’t hear anything. He could feel his eyes getting heavy, his body coming down from a high.

“Spence? Spencer,” Derek sing-songed, “you back with me yet baby?”

He forced a noise out, a hum of confirmation, and he could feel Derek's rumbling chuckle against his back. A moment later there were kisses on his neck and under his ear.

“We gotta shower baby, we have to go to the station before the wheels go up.”

A shower sounded so nice but so difficult. The idea of standing seemed so difficult, but he could feel sweat and cum drying on his stomach and back and it was starting to itch.

“Come on Spence, I’ll wash you off but you’ve gotta get up sweetheart.” 

He preened under the pet names, humming happily and finally making himself sit up. 

“Fine fine,” he found himself saying, his limbs moving slowly from how intense his orgasm had been. He sat on the edge of the bed, wincing at the feeling of cum beginning to move down his back under his shirt. 

He felt Derek sitting up behind him, and he couldn’t resist the urge to lean back into his chest, feeling hands rub up and down his biceps. The fact that Derek was so physical was something Spencer was relishing in. He could snuggle Derek all day and not get tired of it.

“I didn’t know it could feel like that,” he murmured, and he felt his cheeks heat at the confession. It was true though.

“Yeah?”

He shrugged a shoulder, “I never understood the hype behind sex, it didn’t make sense to me.” He scrunched up his nose a bit, “Plus it always sounded so messy, what with all of the fluids.”

Derek’s following laugh was kind, popping a kiss onto Spencer’s waiting temple. 

“Well, fluids or not sex can be fun. I’m glad I got to show you, pretty boy.”

“Wouldn’t mind having you show me again” He murmured, and he felt his face heat up at his own boldness. Derek, for his part, hummed and dropped another kiss behind his ear. 

“And I wouldn’t mind showing you. You’re so sexy and you don’t even know it, baby,” He purred, “Wanna teach you how good you can feel.”

The thought, the implication, made a noise erupt from his throat, his mouth falling open while his head fell back to rest on Derek’s shoulder. His throat was essentially exposed now, with Derek pulling back the neckline to give him more access. Spence felt kisses being peppered along his skin, shivering. 

Hands moved under his shirt again, mirroring their earlier position only this time Derek’s fingers slid through cooling cum. Spencer’s thighs twitched in anticipation, and a husky voice against his neck made him tremble a bit. 

“Maybe we can be a bit late, yeah?”

Rather than answer, Spencer turned around and met those filthy lips in a kiss.

___________________________

By the time they made it to the station, they were more than a little late.

After another romp in the sheets, they had made the executive decision to shower together to “save time” as Derek had put it. This had obviously been a mistake, as they had been forced to take an even longer shower in order to clean up after their activities in the first one. 

Now, at the station, Spencer couldn’t focus. His pants were uncomfortable, what with his lack of underwear, and more than anything he wanted to cuddle and be alone again with Derek. 

That couldn’t happen just yet though. They had a mountain of paperwork to complete. Normally this could be handled on the plane ride home, or even back home in Virginia, but with David insisting that the team stay until Jill was out of the hospital they were stuck with little to do. 

That’s how the entirety of the BAU (minus Rossi) ended up gathered around a table in the conference room, dutifully filling out paperwork to pass the time. Derek sat to Spencer’s right, pen scratching on his paper while his left hand rested on Spencer’s knee. It was mostly concealed by the table, and with the other agents wrapped up in paperwork, Spencer allowed himself to enjoy the light touch. It served as a reminder of the man sitting next to him, that he wasn’t going anywhere.

A goofy grin was on his face, and if any of the other agents noticed, no one commented.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a short one, but i promise that the next few are long. So long that I actually had to break two of them into multiple parts, which is going to bump the whole ten-chapters thing to about 12 chapters. 
> 
> With that being said, the positive responses to this fic have been mind-blowing, so much so that I genuinely don't know how to respond more often than not. I love hearing your thoughts and seeing your reactions. If you guys are interested in talking to me more about this fic or future fics my Criminal Minds Tumblr is @deadbythursday, feel free to hit me up!
> 
> Also, I joined the Moreid Stans group message on Tumblr, and I've actually already been talking to them about my next multi-chapter Moreid fic so feel free to talk to me in there too! 
> 
> Seriously, thank you, guys. The next chapter is a fun one, and that'll be up either Tuesday or Wednesday.


	8. Chapter 8: Derek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek gets to see Spencer’s apartment before taking him home.

After Rossi had thoroughly checked on Jill, and after a quick plane ride, the team had made it back to Quantico in one piece. Some, like Emily and JJ, didn’t even bother going into the building, opting to make their way straight to their cars and head home. Normally Derek would be right behind them, but he followed his boy genius instead.

Spencer was never the one to rush home, usually sticking around after cases to hang around Hotch and Rossi. They’d end up doing some paperwork, existing in the nearly-empty floor until their closing time. Derek wasn’t planning on even glancing at his paperwork though, so while Spencer got things sorted out at his desk, Derek made his way to the cave of one Penelope Garcia. 

They had exchanged brief texts over the past few days, but it was normal for their conversations to taper off a little while he was out on a case. Now though, he was home and he knew his girl was about to weasel her way into details. 

When he stepped into her office Garcia turned in her chair, much like a parent who was waiting up for a teenager (which made sense, given that she had most likely been watching on the cameras). Her legs were crossed, and a fuzzy pen was being wiggled in between her thumb and forefinger. She was trying to look stern, Derek could tell, but all he could do was smile. 

“Hey, dollface-” He started, but was immediately cut off as she held a hand up to silence him. 

“Now, my beautiful behavioral analyst,” she started, “you may not ‘dollface’ me while withholding the dirty details of you and a specific doctor. Spill.”

It ripped a laugh from him, and just like that any fake tension melted away. She was grinning like the Cheshire cat, devious but well-meaning, and he moved to wrap her still-sitting frame in a quick hug. He missed her when he was off, and with a quick kiss to her head, he took his spot leaning up against her desk. 

“There isn’t much to tell sweetness.”

“That is a bold-faced lie and you know it. Derek Morgan if you don’t _tell me_ my brain will fill in the naughty details for itself.”

“And what’s wrong with a little imagination?”

“It’s so much better when it’s true sugar!” She whined, “And I know you wanna tell me, you’re practically glowing. Come on and spill it, it’s rude to keep a lady waiting.”

“You’re not a lady, you’re my naughty little girl,” He purred, but even his words couldn’t satisfy her. She was looking at him pointedly, eyebrows raised and impossibly patient, until he finally gave in to her with a sigh and a smile. 

“I told him how I felt,” He started, smiling when her squeal of delight filled the room. Now she had her hand’s clasped in front of her eagerly, eyes wide and excited, “And?”

“And he likes me back baby girl,” He breathed, “He actually likes me back.”

Another high-pitched squeal erupted from her body, bouncing with excitement in her chair. 

“I knew it! I knew it. I absolutely called it.” 

“You sure did.”

“So now what?” She said, talking fast and eager for more details.

“Well, while we were gone we slept in the same bed every night-” Another high-pitched noise from his girl made him laugh, but he continued on, “We’re gonna try dating. He’s coming over tonight, and I’m gonna cook for him. He doesn’t know that part yet though.”

“Sugar shack this is the best thing that has ever happened to me”

“To you?” He questioned with a chuckle

“Yes to me, my erotic fanfiction has weight now Derek, it’s canon” 

“Well, I have no idea what that means but good for you-”

A knock on her cave door pulled them out of their conversation when the big brown eyes of Spencer Reid peaked in. Derek would swear that his heart grew inside of his chest, filling him with so much happiness at just the sight of the other man. Garcia meanwhile was wearing a shit-eating grin. One calculating look from the doctor and he seemed to connect the dots.

“You told her?”

“She kind of made me”

Penelope was so painfully excited, looking back and forth between the two of them, “Do you know how long I’ve had to hear him gush about you? Of course, he had to tell me! I’ve been telling this man to grow a pair for so long because I knew, I knew, that you two would be the cutest thing-”

“I think that’s enough for now baby girl,” he chuckled, taking stock of the shocked, pink face of his boyfriend. He rested a hand on her shoulder, and when her big doe eyes looked up at him he placed a kiss on her forehead. “I think Spence and I are about to head out, so this conversation stays between us alright?” 

She nodded fast, “But don’t think you’re getting away that easily my sculpted, chocolate god I will be demanding details on your return”

“I know you will mama, I look forward to it.”

And with that, he guided a blubbering Spencer out into the hallway by the small of his back.  
______________________

They decided that they’d drive back to Spencer’s apartment separately, and then take Derek’s truck back to his place. It was smoother that way, and as a result, none of the experienced profilers that they worked with would bat an eye. 

He had so nearly dropped a kiss to the other’s head when he walked him to his car, but Derek had somehow managed to resist. Not touching Spencer at work, or on the plane, had been increasingly more difficult than Derek thought it would be. 

On the plane ride home, they’d sat across from each other on the bench seats, letting Prentiss and JJ have the table. It had been fine for all of ten minutes, but soon Spencer became fidgety, shifting in his seat and plucking at threads on his pants. Derek had so desperately wanted to reach out and rest a hand on his leg, or wrap an arm around him, but he couldn’t and it killed him a little inside. 

It was a relief to know that soon, they’d be in their own little world. He didn’t know how long Spence would let himself stay over, but he could only hope it was at least for the weekend. With it being Friday, two or three nights with him was ideal. 

Well, really, forever was ideal but they’d work they’re way to that eventually. 

He was grinning when they finally made it to Spencer’s apartment building. He parked his truck and climbed out to meet Spence next to his car.

He was still fidgeting, but now it looked more like he was eager. 

They climbed the stairs to Spencer’s door, Derek once again resting a hand on Spencer’s lower back, and Spencer fumbled with his keys to quickly unlock it. Inside, it was exactly as Derek expected it to be. 

The front door opened up to a small entryway, where Spencer’s various coats and things hung on hooks. An immediate right brought them straight into the apartment’s main room, which would normally be half dining area and half living room. However, one Spencer Reid had abandoned that idea, and instead of a dining table, he had a desk covered in papers and empty coffee mugs. Continuing past the desk revealed the living area, with a cream sofa and a very hastily put together entertainment set up. Spencer’s TV was surrounded by shelves of books, some shelves dipping dangerously with weight. 

I’m gonna have to fix that for him, Derek couldn’t help but think, that thing is gonna collapse at any minute. 

The whole apartment smelled like stale coffee and paper, which made sense given that it looked more library than home. It was cozy though, with throw blankets strewn about and large windows. Derek decided quickly that he liked it, and that it was distinctively Spencer. 

Spencer stood bashfully in the center of the chaos, scratching the back of his head. 

“This is me,” he murmured, dropping his hand in favor of stuffing them in his pockets. He winced at the movement, apparently having forgotten that he didn’t have underwear on. 

“I like it, it’s very you,” Derek said, moving to stand directly in front of him. Now that they were alone, he could pop a kiss onto the tip of Spencer’s nose. “You’re gonna have to let me fix those shelves though, they’re gonna collapse soon.”

Spencer huffed, but was grinning a bit, “I just needed somewhere to put my books, JJ made fun of me for having them all over the floor.”

“Yeah? Probably for the best. I can only imagine how many times you’ve tripped over something in here.”

“Hardly ever, eidetic memory. I know where everything is.” he preened with pride, his chin jutting upward ever so slightly. 

“Yeah well, still don’t want anything breaking. Remind me whenever we come back here and I’ll bring my tools with me.” Derek’s hands rested on Spencer’s thin hips. 

Spencer’s grin melted into something softer, more content as he answered with a tiny nod. His arms looped around Derek’s neck, and the tone shifted to something more private as they gazed at each other. 

This was peaceful, standing in Spencer’s apartment in a vague embrace. It felt right, as natural as breathing. He could faintly hear a clock ticking from somewhere, and yet time still didn’t seem to move. Those honey-colored eyes closed when Derek leaned in and pressed their mouths together slowly. 

It was nothing like their kissing from this morning. This one was softer, more of a ‘welcome home’. They had nowhere to be, there was no rush, and they were allowed to just experience one another. 

When they pulled apart Spencer had the most blissful expression on his face, so open and relaxed. His grin was carefree, and Derek couldn’t resist dropping one more kiss to it before he said, “Come on Spence, gotta pack a bag so that I can take you home pretty boy.”

The boy genius stuttered for a second, seemingly unsure of how to respond to the pet name, and after a second he nodded and mutely walked to what Derek presumed was his bedroom. Derek followed at a leisurely pace. Spencer was already puttering about the room, digging through drawers and his closet

Spencer’s room was pretty much the same, if not worse than the rest of the apartment. He had a dresser, as most do, but that was seemingly the only not-broken piece of furniture in the room. His bed frame was missing the front two legs, one being held up by a cinder block and the other by textbooks, and his nightstand was missing knobs for the small drawers. All in all, it would have been charming had Derek not spotted a tarp over one of the windows. 

“Spence, is your window broken?” Derek questioned, turning a prying eye to the man beside him. 

Spencer hardly spared him a glance, continuing to pack clothes into a black duffle on his bed, “Yeah, it happened the weekend before we left for the case. It was harmless, just some kid with a ball, but I have to call my landlord about fixing it for whatever fee he wants.” He shrugged nonchalantly as if it wasn't a big deal that he had slept in a room with a broken window for nearly two days.

“Spence, thank god your boyfriend is a handyman because you sure do like broken shit,” he teased, a laugh bubbling up. Even Spencer chuckled a bit, ducking his head at the word ‘boyfriend’ with a little smile. 

The zip of the duffle bag resonated in the room, like a period on a sentence, and Derek made quick work of scooping up the strap before Spencer could protest. It was heavier than a normal bag, mostly because he had noticed Spence discreetly packing some books inside, but it was easy work for Derek. 

“Thanks,” Spence said, voice shy. 

With that, they made their way out of the bedroom and through the front door. Once locked, Derek’s truck was their next destination.

The truck was black, inconspicuous, a 5 seater with a leather interior. It was his baby, it had been the first new car he’d purchased by himself and to this day it was the most reliable thing he’s ever driven. She was scuffed a bit from lugging stuff to and from Derek’s properties, but she got the job done. 

Derek stepped in front to open Spencer’s door for him, sliding his duffle in the back as he did so before he climbed in himself and they were off. 

“I feel like a blushing bride, what with all the door opening and bag carrying,” Spencer mused, getting comfortable and putting his seatbelt on. 

“Gotta make you swoon somehow baby boy,” Derek casually drove with his left hand, letting his right arm drape over the back of Spencer’s seat. 

“Oh, so I need to swoon now?”

“Yes sir, you sure do. It’s an insult to my skills if you don't.”

“Is making someone swoon on the same level as seducing someone? Swoon-ducing maybe?” He hadn’t expected Spencer to play along, but he laughed nonetheless and continued.

“Yes, it’s a science if you didn't know.”

“Ah, I did not. Maybe I'll get my next Ph.D. in that, give your skills an equal match.”

“Baby boy,” Derek mused, pulling up to a red light and turning to give Spencer his best heart-melting, panty-dropping smile, “you already make me swoon.”

Yes, it was cheesy, and yes Derek probably wouldn’t have used that line on anyone other than Spencer Reid, but it had the desired effect.

Spencer choked on whatever witty retort had been about to come out of his mouth, coughing and trying to right himself. His cheeks were flushed, and he ran a hand through his hair with eyes downcast. 

Score. 

________________________

Coming home after a case always felt like coming home from war, his brain overworked mush, his muscles sore, and his body aching to lay down with Clooney and sleep for a few days. 

This time was different though. 

He watched Spencer’s face out of his peripheral as the other man studied the facade of Derek’s house. Derek had built his home himself only a few years after joining the FBI (a stable salary does wonders for one’s hobbies). At that time he had found himself itching with unresolved tension, working himself to the bone with next to no outlet. He had tried kickboxing first, and he’d liked it well enough, but he wanted to create something.

He’d figured out what he wanted the instant that he had driven past a ‘for sale’ sign on an empty lot. 

His home, from then on, had been his pet project.

Derek hoped that Spencer liked it, his ego would definitely take a stroke otherwise. 

He parked his truck in the garage, pressing a button on his keys to close it behind him. He could already hear Clooney barking from inside, ready for attention. 

Derek was in the process of reaching around to grab Spencer’s bag when he noticed that the other was now incredibly tense. He was worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, his palms rubbing up and down his thighs. Derek was immediately cycling through what had possibly changed in the past few seconds.

It wasn't dark in the garage, he had installed windows in there. Not that. 

Nothing was strewn about, nothing that could have freaked Spence out or put him off.

There hadn’t been any loud noises or anything-

Oh. 

Oh. 

Clooney. 

“Spence?” Derek did his best to keep his voice level, and the gentle smile off of his face while he took one of Spencer’s worrying hands between his own. He stroked his thumb along the soft skin. 

Spencer’s eyes darted to Derek’s, and he was so obviously struggling to calm himself down. Swallowing, trying to calm rapid breathing. In the setting sun's light, his eyes looked like amber. It would have been beautiful if there wasn’t so much panic in them. 

“D-dog?”

Derek took a deep breath, nodding solemnly but with a smile on his face, soft and gentle. “Dog.”

“B-big?”

“Medium.”

“Mean?”

“A goofball, he’s the sweetest.”

Spencer was holding his hand now but was hardly relaxed. 

“I’ll walk in first, okay?” He murmured, voice soft and reassuring. “He’ll jump and get excited, but he won't bite. He calms down after a few minutes, just gets excited to meet new people.”

A thick swallow, a wordless nod, and then they were off.

Derek was quick to shoulder Spencer’s bag, and he kept true to his word by staying in front. He didn’t miss how Spencer had a hand fisted in the back of his t-shirt, or how his breath faltered when he stepped inside.

Clooney was an Australian Shepherd, all energy and fur. He was running in circles when Derek opened the door, but quickly stopped and bolted over. He consistently felt guilty about having to leave him all the time, but he’d savor the time now that he was home. He dropped into a crouch to scratch at his eats, chuckling when Clooney rolled over to offer up his belly. 

“Woah there! Looks like someone’s excited to see daddy!”

Spencer, meanwhile, hovered by the door, watching while Derek enthusiastically scratched at the dog. He shifted from foot to foot, and it wasn’t until Derek motioned him over that he actually took a step. Spencer was hesitant to join Derek on the ground, opting to sit close to his side.

Clooney was lost in his belly rubs, squirming his body back and forth while Derek scratched. 

“Give him a pet Spence, he won’t hurt you. Promise”

Slowly, hesitantly, Spencer outstretched his hand to scratch a small scratch on his stomach. Clooney perked up at the new hand, but other than that there was no change. Eventually, Derek removed his hands so that Spencer could pet him in earnest. Derek instead opted to pet Spencer’s hair. Eventually, Spencer seemed to realize that Clooney wasn’t going to hurt him, and he scratched a little happier.

“Proud of you baby boy.”

He didn’t miss Spencer’s pleased smile or the sneaky peek at Derek from under his long lashes. 

“Okay okay you spoiled, ridiculous dog I’m afraid daddy has to steal his boyfriend away.”

Derek noticed a slight change in Spencer’s demeanor. If he hadn’t been a profiler for the FBI he might have missed the micro-expression, but regardless something changed in his face. Maybe it was still nerves around Clooney, or maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the word ‘daddy’ coming out of his mouth. He wouldn’t comment though, not yet at least. They had plenty of time for that later. 

“And what if I want to stay right here?”

“Well, then I guess I won’t get to give you a tour then?”

“It’ll work out fine,” He said, continuing to scratch and play with Clooney, “I’ll just live on the floor, right here, with Clooney, forever.”

A quirk of the eyebrow, “Abandoning me for another man already?” 

“What can I say, his belly is the cutest thing I've ever seen.” A second passed, Spencer shifted a little on the floor, his eyes darted to Derek, then back to Clooney. He looked like he was struggling not to say something, but eventually, it just poured out in a rush of air, “Did you know that a lot of people feel an unexplainable urge to crush things that they think are cute? The response is called 'cute aggression,' and just the other day I was reading a new study that suggests it tempers an overwhelming response in the brain. So in the presence of cute things-”

And with that, Spencer launched off into an enthusiastic rant about all things science. The brain functions that are involved in thinking something’s cute, or attractive, how that translates to romantic feelings in humans, and also did you know that monkeys and humans are the only species that have sex for pleasure and not just procreation?

After a moment or so, Derek sat down from his half-crouch and decided to listen. The side door from the garage opened into the kitchen, so he leaned his back against the kitchen island and just let his baby boy talk. Too many people cut him off, spoke over him like what he was saying didn’t matter. It did matter though, if not to anyone else then at least to Spencer. 

He was excited, speaking with his hands with bright eyes and an eager smile. He could talk forever, about anything and everything. 

“-there’s actually a type of spider that weaves really intricate webs to impress their potential mates. They go as far as to decorate it even, with flowers and bright things to attract her. What’s even more interesting though is that these spiders seem to have a sense of design, and they each vary with their decorating-” He stopped himself mid-sentence, sitting open-mouthed for a second and just staring at Derek. 

“All’s good pretty boy?’

Spencer crossed his arms over his chest and averted his eyes, shifting back and forth. “We were supposed to tour and I started t-talking I’m sorry-”

He was cut off with a hand in his knee, stuttering out another weak apology.

“Spencer,” Derek soothed, “I like hearing you talk. I may not always be able to follow you, but if you’re excited then I'm excited too love. Talk as much or as little as you want.”

This sentence seemed to be met with hesitation, a natural suspicion that had been trained in Spencer since he was young. He obviously wasn’t used to people listening to him willingly, either holding them hostage in lecture halls or talking so fast that no one could get a word in. Derek could understand why Spencer didn’t fully believe him yet, but it would happen in time. 

“I-I’d like to see your house now if that’s okay?” He looked like a little boy, afraid to be chastised for asking for something. He looked like he was asking for forgiveness for something that he didn’t do. 

“Of course we can baby, a grand tour, and then festivities.”

He helped Spencer to his feet, Clooney scrambling to his as well to follow them as they started the tour. Derek didn’t play into Spencer’s questions about what ‘festivities’ he was talking about, unwilling to share his plan for the evening just yet. Instead, he walked Spencer around the island, through the modern kitchen. It was an open concept, looking directly into his living room. He had a comfy, blue sectional that faced a wall-mounted TV above a fireplace. French doors led their way into a backyard big enough for Clooney to run to his heart's content, plus a pool. Derek had decorated everything too, pictures and plants and other knick-knacks adorning shelves and mantles. It was a nice home, a family home for only one.

Now, it was Derek’s turn to talk. As he led Spencer through each room, he couldn't help but explain his choices; why he had opted for porcelain counters (they looked just like granite but without all the maintenance), or the flooring (spruce, hard and shiny and able to withstand all of Clooney’s nails). He had built a custom setup for his living room, with built-in bookshelves on either side of the fireplace. They were full of books, which Spencer admired, but Derek couldn't help but spout off details about the building process.

Usually, Derek wasn’t so eager to talk about his home, he found that most people weren’t too interested in construction. For some reason though, he wanted Spencer to understand how much time, energy, and love had gone into building this home. 

Spencer asked questions when appropriate, listened to the answers, and looked so damn proud of Derek that he felt his heart twitch. 

He showed Spence the bedrooms (three in total, with one being the master). He used one for an office, full of blueprints of his other properties and a drawing board, and then the other for storage. Mostly it featured a few more bookcases, and Spencer took to the room immediately. There was an armchair inside that Derek had bought and hadn’t used for some reason or another, cozied amongst the boxes of junk and books. Spencer sat down immediately, digging through nearby piles.

“Derek, your house is gorgeous,” He gushed, still flipping through pages, “you built a whole home. That’s incredible. I love it.” He looked up, his eyes betraying fondness. “You’re incredible.”

The unfiltered admiration and affection in Spencer’s eyes threw him. To think, just a few days ago they were just co-workers harboring crushes. Now, here they were in Derek’s home, trusting one another so fully. Caring so fully. 

“I wanna make you dinner,” He blurted out, mostly to stop himself from professing undying love for the other man. It was too early for that.

“Dinner?” Spencer questioned, his head cocked in the cutest expression of confusion that Derek had ever seen. 

“Yes,” Derek took a few steps forward until he could crouch in front of Spencer on the floor. It reminded him vaguely of that night in the hotel room, reassuring Spencer of his feelings. “I want to cook you dinner as a proper gentleman does on the first date.”

“Oh I’m hardly dressed for a first date I-”

Hand’s rubbed at his thighs until he stopped talking. He seemed to cease based on a look in Derek’s eyes, waiting for him to continue instead. 

“We’re gonna get in comfy clothes, which is more than acceptable for a first date, and cozy up on the couch. We’re gonna pick a movie, maybe even watch it a little.” He let the implication sit in the air, soaking up Spencer’s blush and shifting. 

“I’m gonna treat you to the first date that you deserve, baby. I’m really excited to do it.”

Spencer’s hands moved to cup Derek’s face, and he leaned into those soft palms. His eyes were so beautifully wide, trusting, and full of affection. He looked tempted to deny it all, to stop Derek’s doting. He wouldn’t though, Derek knew that much. Spencer leaned forward to give a shy, slow kiss to his cheek. Derek turned a second later to catch his lips in a gentle kiss. 

“Okay,” he whispered, “Okay.”

He leaned forward to kiss him again, a smile on his lips.  
_________________________________________________-

The decision, between the two of them, was that pasta was the only acceptable first date food. Derek cited The Lady and the Tramp as his source for such a fact, while Spencer cited an obscure Italian romance movie from the ’30s. Regardless of why they agreed and Derek set to work. 

Various vegetables were strewn about the countertop, along with bowls of cheeses. Rather than boxed pasta, Derek opted to make his own. It was more impressive that way, plus he got to wrap his arms around Spencer and guide him through kneading the dough. 

He cut squares from the rolled out dough while Spencer diced an onion. Poorly. 

“Spence, I thought you were supposed to be good at everything, how can you not chop an onion?”

“Cutting vegetables is nowhere near Psychology Derek, I don’t need to learn how to cut an onion to get a Ph.D.”

“Guess not. Besides, someone’s gotta keep the pizza places in business.”

“Hey! I’m capable of making my own meals.” Spencer moaned, abashed. 

“Uh-huh baby, keep telling yourself that cup noodles are food.”

“Derek Morgan that is hardly fair.” He was whining now. 

“It’s a good thing you’ve got me to teach you.” He looked up from where he was filling the ravioli with the cheese mixture. Spencer had a look of slight awe on his face but continued to try and cut the onion as best he could.

Eventually, they turned Spencer’s mangled vegetables into a usable sauce (usable after it was sauteed and blended, that is). The ravioli were closed and plopped into the boiling water.

“I think that it’s time to get comfy clothes on, yeah?”

A nod, and they were making their way to the bedroom. Spencer rifled through his duffle bag, slipping into the master bathroom while Derek slipped on clean joggers and an old football jersey. He was back in the kitchen before Spencer was finished, fishing the pasta out of the water. He was fixing their plates when Spencer emerged, and he nearly dropped it all. 

Spencer. Was. Wearing. Leggings.

His legs were so long, but they looked impossibly longer when hugged by tight, black material. His legs looked stronger than they did in jeans, with calves, and thighs thick with lithe muscles. He was wearing a big graphic t-shirt, some cartoons across the chest. His socks were still mismatched; navy with snails, and lemons. 

Spencer started to shift under Derek’s gaze, fingering the hem of his shirt with eyes darting around the room. Derek only then realized that he had been starring, his spoon still held up mid-motion. He cleared his throat, resuming his early actions, and occasionally glancing at Spencer while he made his way around the island. 

“Didn’t know you had leggings Spence.”

“They’re comfortable,” He shrugged. “Shorts make me feel exposed, pants are too hot. “

“I wouldn’t mind skin, but damn those leggings do something for your legs.” He turned bowls in hand and a smirk on his face. 

Spencer bit his lip and ducked his head, but he was smiling that shy smile that Derek had pictured so many times. Beautiful, Spencer was beautiful.

They could eat at the dining table, but instead, Derek guided Spence to the coffee table. They could sit on the floor, leaning up against the sofa to cuddle up while they ate. Spencer ate his fill happily, eagerly. They talked about everything and nothing, laughing and smiling at each other the whole time. 

“Derek,” Spencer moaned around his fork, happily eating his fill of the pasta. “I swear I don’t think I’ve tasted anything better.” He finished soon after that, only climbing up to get another bowl. When he did, Derek couldn’t help but ogle the round ass that was so close to his face. 

Oh, what he wouldn’t give to have his face in there, licking and sucking until Spencer was a moaning, shakey mess. He could imagine how his boy would sound, mewing with his face in the pillow while Derek made him fall apart. 

He had to shake himself out of his fantasies when his boyfriend returned, letting him eat his body weight in pasta. 

“You should pick a movie love, whatever one you want.” He said, combing his hand through Spencer’s mop of hair while he finished up his food. He loved how content Spencer looked like this, purring while his hair was pet, and eating like a starving man. Derek meanwhile, his dinner finished, used a remote from the coffee table to dim the lights in the room. “We could even watch a documentary if you want, my only request is no true crime please.”

Spencer chuckled and followed Derek onto the sofa. He scooped up the FireStick remote, casually flipping through channels. Derek lay on his back, and Spencer curled up on his chest like he was made to be there. They were made to be here. He draped a throw blanket over them, wrapping them up securely.

“Could we watch Tangled?” His voice was so soft, so muffled and shy that Derek almost didn’t catch it. When he did though, he melted. 

“Tangled? Any particular reason why that’s your choice?” He said, clicking through the apps to get to Disney+, scrolling down to the princess section. He couldn’t help but find it precious that Spencer wanted something as soft as a Disney musical to watch while they cuddled (or do more than cuddle, his brain supplied). 

Spencer shrugged against him. “It’s a cute love story, plus the music is catchy.”

“That is a fantastic pitch, I’m sold.”

And with that, he played the movie.

This whole environment was incredibly soft and safe. They had been so wrapped up in their turbulent emotions over the past few days, complete with jealousy and stress. Now though, they re bellies were full of good food, their hearts were full of care and adoration, their ears were full of Disney musicals and all in all Derek Morgan had never felt more content in his whole life than at this moment. Spencer was born to lay on his chest, to cover him fully with. 

Spencer lasted about fifteen minutes in total before his boy began to squirm, restless against Derek’s chest. He felt himself smirk while he stroked Spencer’s back. 

“Everything good baby?’ He murmured into the dim light of the room, popping a kiss onto Spencer’s head.

He took a stuttering breath, and Derek felt the heat through his shirt. “Y-yep. Fine.”

“Just kinda squirmy babe. Got something on your mind?”

A beat of silence, another squirm, then Spencer talked. “You m-mentioned earlier that we weren’t gonna… gonna watch the whole time?”

The look on Derek’s face was a triumphant one. He had known the instant Spencer’s body had begun to move that his baby needed something. More specifically, needed him. Derek knew he had woken something up in Spencer while they were in the hotel room, awakening a primal need in the boy genius. 

The noises that had poured out of Spencer when he had been dreaming, when he had asked Derek to take care of him when Derek had rocked his hips in between his cheeks. It had all been so hard, hot and heavy. Spencer had been desperate, but hardly knowing what he was desperate for. He was new to all of this, his virginity being pried apart slowly by Derek's careful strokes. 

“Wanna stop watching baby?” A quick nod, face still hidden in Derek’s shirt. Derek continued. “You want me to take care of you baby boy?” A wobbly mew came out of his mouth, another quick nod.

Derek let his hands start to wander, starting at his back but very quickly making their way to Spence’s ass. Those leggings were a sin, the thin fabric clinging to those perfect, round globes. Spence made another whimpering noise, hands coming up to clutch at the T-shirt separating him from Derek’s skin. 

His hands then moved to the thighs, those thighs, squeezing and massaging the skin while his baby was practically purring. The noises were breathy pants, the occasional whimper or moan sneaking it’s way out and into Derek’s neck. He took a hold of the muscles, the thick meat of Spencer’s thighs, and pulled his legs to straddle him. Spencer came willingly, eagerly, scrambling to put himself where Derek wanted him. 

The willingness to follow orders, the desperation to let Derek have him, was enough to wake his cock up. He was already half-hard in his joggers, spreading his legs a little and in turn spreading Spencers. That made Spencer croak, thighs shaking and throat moving in a swallow. 

“E-earlier….” He heard a soft word, coming from his baby's mouth. He stopped the ministrations on Spencer’s ass, giving him a second to speak. “Y-you were talking to Clooney and y-you called yourself…. You said-”.

Spencer shivered, clawing a little desperately at Derek’s chest, nuzzling with his legs spread and his ass in the air. He was clearly hiding in his neck, embarrassed and shy. Derek though, Derek already knew what he was talking about. 

He knew he referred to himself as Clooney’s daddy, he always had, but now it was starting to sound like Spencer wanted a daddy as well. 

“Say it, Spencer.” An order fell out of Derek’s mouth like second nature, happy to take on the new role that Spencer was desperate for. And desperate he was, moaning unabashed with a shiver. He was still hiding, but one glance down told Derek that he was rock hard in those tight leggings. “Say. It.”

“D-daddy,” He choked out, and Derek squeezed his ass so hard that Spencer shuddered, pushing his ass back into his hands. “P-please.”

He pulled Spencer’s body flush, using his hands to squeeze and guide Spencer into a lazy thrust. His bulge was hot and hard through his leggings, pressing straight to Derek’s firm body. Spencer was letting himself be controlled, but only to a certain extent. More so, he was rocking like a mad man, frantically chasing the pleasure that Derek made him feel. 

“You want to rut against daddy’s cock baby?” Derek purred, licking at the shell of his ear. His body was wracked with tremors, pressing open-mouthed kisses to Derek’s neck. “You want daddy’s hands on you?”

“Y-yes yes please- for the love of god please” 

“Sit up.” Spencer didn’t respond for a second, too lost in all of the sensations. It took Derek repeating himself before he moved, the blanket falling off of his shoulders and gathering around his waist.

Spencer was still moving, rocking his hips in small little thrusts while he panted. His hands were braced in front of him, resting on Derek’s abs. He looked so content to be seated exactly where he was, eyes half-lidded and mouth open in soft noises. 

He whimpered, and Derek took to grabbing his ass. He squeezed the round globes and guided Spencer into a faster pace. His baby followed his guidance willingly, hips moving fast and desperate. He was beautiful like this, looking so content. He looked like he’d found his purpose in life, grinding down onto Derek’s lap like a starving man.

Derek could feel their lengths rubbing together through the thin material of their pants, long cocks finding friction on one another. Spencer was panting, his thighs quivering with tension as he held himself up. 

“H-how,” Spencer started, stuttering in between gulps of air, “h-how does this feel so good? F-fuck fuck,” He interrupted himself with a moan before continuing on, “We h-haven’t even taken our clothes off”

Derek gripped Spencer’s hips hard, thumbs digging into hip bones. He was so hard that it was painful, watching Spencer mew and pleasure himself by rutting up against him. He still had the energy to smirk though.

“It’s ‘cause you’re so wound up baby boy,” he murmured. He could hear how husky his voice was, dripping with need. “I bet that I could get you off without even touching you babe, you’re wound so tight”

Spencer seemed to only latch onto the words ‘without touching you’ because he rocked harder, soft begs falling out of his mouth. “No no no,” he whined, voice wobbly with arousal and desperation, but still the words tumbled out of his mouth like he couldn’t stop himself, “please don’t stop touching me, please I need it, please Derek please don't stop, I’ll explode” 

“Relax sweet baby boy, I’m gonna touch you, don’t you worry.” He soothed.

“I need to be t-touched, need it so much” 

“I was only teasing”

Soon after, Derek could see how Spencer’s thighs were growing tired from exertion, but it only seemed to frustrate the genius. He would stutter his hips for a second in a weak attempt at a break but it was like his body needed to get off more than it needed a break. So he’d stop for a second, get frustrated, and then begin to move again, only for him to have to take a break only seconds later. It was an endless loop of the needs of his muscles versus the need of his cock. 

He whined, leaning down to once again bury his face in Derek’s neck. He gave Derek control now, large hands using his ass to guide him. Derek was pulling and manipulating Spencer’s body to keep the friction, all the while feeling puffs of hot air and moans on his neck. Bliss. 

“Did you wear these on purpose?” He whispered eventually, squeezing Spencer’s leggings-covered ass to punctuate his sentence.

“Y-yes”

“Fucking tease” He chuckled, but didn’t stop in his ministrations, “knew it’d make me wanna fuck any and every part of you, yeah?”

“Ohhh fuck Derek yes,” He sounded like he was close to tears, he was so desperate to finish, “Fuck me, Derek, please”

It took a second for Derek to realize what he’d said, but the moment the connection was made he froze. His hands stopped moving, even gripping that hard, and Spencer whined before his brain caught up with his mouth. 

He sat up fast then, eyes wide with anxiety. The only thing that could be heard in the room was the panting from the two men and Tangled in the background. “I-I mean-”

“Is that what you want Spence?” 

He averted his eyes, shifting and looking anywhere but at Derek, “I-I just...I don’t...I mean we can?” 

It was a question, not an answer, and that was all Derek needed. He swallowed down the small lump of disappointment, but he wouldn’t start this right now. Spencer wasn’t sure, and he would not be the one to pressure him into something that he wasn’t ready for.

“Nah,” He said, doing his best to feign some nonchalance, “We can wait for that.”

“N-no it’s fine, we can if you want to-”

“Do you want to?”

“I… I don't know?”

“Then that’s the answer. We have all the time in the world to get to that babe, this isn’t the right time for it.”

“I’m sorry, i shouldn’t have said anything I-”

“Baby,” Derek soothed, hands beginning to squeeze and guide him again. Spencer stuttered out a weak apology as the friction began again, eyes fluttering, “No need to apologize.”

Spence was still a little tense, anxiety coming off of him in ripples. His hips were starting to move under Derek’s hands though, which he took as a good sign.

I just gotta get him to relax again, make him forget about what he said. 

“You know what I thought about earlier babe?” He prompted, noticing the way Spencer swallowed in response. 

“What?”

“When you stood up, and your ass was in my face,” He started, and smirked at Spencer’s mewing noise in response, “I thought about putting my mouth on you.”

Spence gave a full-body shiver, rocking in earnest again. “Y-yeah?”

“Sure did baby, wanna get my mouth all over you. Wanna see how far those legs will spread for me,” He purred, “Wanna suck your cock, until you’re begging to cum, and then I wanna lick at your hole babe. Wanna feel you rocking this cute little ass against my tongue until you come”

He gasped, hips stuttering, but soon the begging was pouring from his mouth again. The previous anxiety was forgotten, he knew what he wanted now. 

“Ohhh please, want that, want that” he gasped out, and before he could continue to beg Derek had cleanly flipped them over, trapping the writhing body underneath him. He sat up on his knees, in between Spencer’s legs. 

He couldn’t help but admire him. He looked so thoroughly debauched, long hair a mess and his eyes were so dilated that there was only the thinnest ring of brown left. His shirt had slid up, showing off his pale, flat, toned abdomen. Sharp hip bones protruded from the leggings, and Derek was overtaken with a need to taste them. 

So he did. 

He leaned down to mouth at Spencer’s belly, sucking little kisses to his sweaty, salty skin. He nuzzled his nose in Spence’s happy trail, and he used his hands to tug down the leggings as he traveled down. He did indeed suck on Spencer’s hip bones, left then right, and nipped lovingly. 

When the leggings came down to his thighs, Spencer’s rosy cock was revealed and Derek was practically drooling. It had been so long since he’d sucked someone off, over a year, and he’d forgotten how much he enjoyed the pleasant weight on his tongue. He started at the head, suckling and taking pride in the noises it pulled from his Spencer. He tongued at the slit, licking at the drops of precum gathered there. Spencer’s salt on his tongue was probably the best thing he’d ever tasted. 

It took him a second, but he was carefully easing his boyfriend’s cock down his throat. He’d known Spencer was big, commenting on it even, but when it was in his mouth it seemed impossibly even larger. 

He let a moan slip out of him, vibrating down Spencer’s cock. He could hear a choked whine from above him, encouragement to continue sliding down. It was such an incredibly fulfilling feeling, his mouth full of cock and his nose full of his boyfriend’s musk.

Spencer’s hips were bucking, but Derek held him down. He knew Spencer probably just wanted to fuck his throat, take it and come down it. Maybe Derek would let him do it someday, but not now. He wouldn’t be coming down his throat today, considering his dick wasn’t the only place that Derek wanted his mouth. 

He popped off, Spencer’s hips frantically trying to follow the waiting heat of Derek’s mouth. Derek resisted the need to keep sucking, to swallow down every drop of him, in favor of ripping the leggings off the rest of the way. He threw them onto the floor next to the sofa, leaving Spencer’s long legs flailed out and exposed.

Derek’s hands fit themselves in the crook’s of Spencer’s knees, pushing them up up up to put his perfect, furled hole on display. He guided Spencer’s hands to hold his own legs up, essentially folding himself in half. 

Derek’s mouth was probably the greediest it’s ever been. He was lapping and sucking at his entrance, using his thumbs to massage the skin. At the first lick, Spencer’s back arched impossibly high off of the sofa. Whatever he had been expecting, evidently it wasn’t that. 

He could feel Spencer’s hole contracting against his tongue, he could taste the hot skin, and honestly, he couldn’t help but feel lightheaded with the heat pooling in his stomach. His hips were gyrating against the sofa cushions, but his body was hardly chasing a release. No, he was too busy experiencing the taste of Spencer Reid. 

Spencer, for his part, was screaming. Derek would’ve been concerned had he been in an apartment and not a house, considering Spencer was choking out expletives in combination with Derek’s name. His body wasn’t doing too much better, as he seemingly was trying to squirm away and towards his tongue at the same time. 

“Derek, D-Derek please- ah - please oh my god” He chanted, his dick twitching against his stomach. Derek was smirking against him now, lapping at his entrance and occasionally nudging the tip of his tongue inside. 

By the time Derek took ahold of his dick, Spencer was essentially a wreck. He was slippery with sweat, a pool of precum had gathered on his stomach, and he was moaning like a mad man. When Derek began to jerk him off, that was the beginning of the end, with hips jerking into Derek’s hand and simultaneously pushing him into his mouth.

He could feel himself approaching his edge too, just from grinding against the sofa and Spencer’s noises. Every single one of Derek’s senses was overtaken by him right now, tasting him, smelling him, touching him. He let the tip of his tongue breach his entrance, teasing at the sensitive ring of muscle that he found there. What he wouldn’t give to pry that same hole open with his fingers, slowly open him up for bigger and better things. 

He knew Spencer would take him so well, he’d be such a good little boy and beg so pretty. 

When Spencer finally finished with a cry of Derek’s name, coating his stomach and Derek’s hand in his seed, Derek let his forehead rest against Spencer’s hip. He made quirk work of himself with the same hand, and a few strokes later his juices were mixing with Spencer’s.

Their heavy breathing could be heard over Tangled in the background, a cute song about having a dream acting as a backdrop for their recovery. 

Derek wiggled his way back up the doctor’s body, collapsing onto Spencer’s chest with heavy eyelids. He was full, he’d had a fantastic orgasm, and now he had Spencer’s hand stroking up and down his back. 

They didn’t talk, letting a comfortable silence overtake them as they opted to finish the rest of the movie. If Derek fell asleep a few minutes later, well, Spencer wouldn’t tell.


	9. Chapter 9 Pt. 1: Spencer

When Spencer awoke, it was to a dark room.

It should have been calming. Derek was still a pleasant weight on his chest, grounding him to the sofa below. The only sounds in the room were his steady breathing and the occasional snuffle from Clooney’s dog bed in the corner. The TV had turned itself off in the night though, and with the drapes drawn it left menacing darkness behind that, frankly, scared the shit out of him. 

It wasn’t the darkness itself, but rather what could be lurking within. Spencer was a genius, this is true, but how can even a genius account for something that they can’t see? There could be a serial killer with them in the room right now and neither of them could react in time. Why? Because they wouldn’t be able to fucking see him. 

This is how Spencer rationalized his fears at least, telling himself that not only were his fears valid, but correct.

When they were in the field it was much easier to manage his fears. He couldn’t really focus on how dark somewhere was when he was in the middle of chasing down an unsub. His brain was always clouded through with adrenaline, pumping him with survival statistics and case information. 

Now though, there was no adrenaline. This was supposed to be a relaxed moment with his boyfriend, so he had nothing else to focus on. 

If Spencer let his paranoia take over him, he could see figures in the dark. Rationally, it was just the armchair, or the lamp, or the plant, but to Spencer, every single one of them was a threat. This is why he started panicking, squirming under Derek as it slowly got harder and harder to breathe. 

His chest was starting to hurt, whether, from the weight of Derek or how fast his heart was beating, Spence would never know. Blood was pounding in his ears. His hands were shaking on Derek’s back. Everything was moving so fast, his brain wasn’t getting enough oxygen with how shallow he was breathing. 

He’d almost certainly pass out if he didn’t calm down soon. Panic was setting in.

He blinked over and over again, trying in vain to get his eyes to adjust so that he could see something, anything in the unforgiving darkness. 

It was dark. It was too dark. Spencer couldn’t see. He couldn’t breathe. He was starting to get dizzy, and he knew that if he could see then he’d be seeing spots or the room would be spinning. It made sense, given that he couldn’t fucking breathe, and it was so overwhelming that he didn’t register Derek moving until the lights came on. 

The next thing he knew he was being hauled into a sitting position, the spots now visible and his hands shaking as he clutched them to his chest. 

Derek was talking to him but he couldn't hear him. Derek was talking to him, but he couldn’t hear him. He needed to breathe or this was only going to get worse. 

Derek’s face slowly swam back into view, Spencer could feel strong hands rubbing up and down his biceps, and eventually, he could hear the soft words.

“-Hear me? Can you hear me Spence?” Derek said, punctuating his sentence with a shoulder squeeze. “Deep breaths okay? Can you breathe with me Spencer?”

His vision was still swimming, but now it was significantly less. He was doing his absolute best to take deep breaths, nearly gulping. Every breath that he took was slowly bringing his sight back. With every dot that disappeared from his vision, more and more of Derek.

With that, Spencer Reid did what Spencer Reid does best: he focused. He honed in on Derek’s breathing and eventually the oxygen was back in his brain. He could think again, he could feel the anxiety slowly dissipating.

“Back with me baby?”

Spence nodded. He was more aware of his surroundings now, eyes flitting to the corners of the room. No one was there, as was expected, but the reassurance that his eyes had just been playing tricks on him in the dark was just as comforting as Derek was. The fear was slowly going away, taking the panic with him and just leaving Spencer feeling empty. 

The after shocks of a panic attack always struck him as worse than the actual experience, if not at least equal. There was a certain weight, he could feel it in the eyelids, in his limbs, in the hollows of his cheeks. His throat was dry from his gulping breaths, and he just barely managed to croak out a hoarse “sorry.”

“No need for apologies babe, what set you off though?”

He couldn’t help from shaking his head back and forth, Derek whispering a string of ‘no, no, no’ to try and stop him. Fuck. Fuck. He felt like a child. The last thing that he wanted to be was a burden on Derek, he was already carrying so much weight the last thing that he needed was a boyfriend he couldn’t even get through a full night.  
Like an infant. 

He could feel his breathing starting to pick up speed again, by Derek caught it before it could get too bad.

“My sweet baby boy, my sweet, precious, pretty boy everything is okay I promise, just breathe with me okay?”

One of Derek’s hands was cupping his neck, the other stroking his thigh lovingly. His eyes were so big and caring, like if he looked at Spencer long enough then he’d be able to see exactly what was plaguing him. Oh how he wanted to open up to him, to let him in on the stress and anxiety that came with his brain.

“What happened?” Derek questioned after a moment. “Nightmare?”

The concern was practically seeping off of Derek. His eyebrows were knit, and he looked about ready to pull Spencer to him and never let go. 

His face flushed at the question, averting his eyes. “It was dark,” he murmured, “I couldn’t see.”

Derek melted, letting out a puff of air and giving him an apologetic look. “I’ll change the TV settings, that won’t happen again.”

“Derek it’s okay it’s not a big deal-” he started, ready to spout off a million reasons why Derek shouldn’t concern himself with the fucked up nature of Spencer’s head, but he was cut off by a soothing hush, and more arm rubs.

“None of that. I’ll change the settings, and I have a diffuser we can turn on in the bedroom.”

This man, this sweet, perfect man, made Spencer’s eyes feel just a smidge wet. How much more thoughtful could he be?

“O-okay.”

“Okay?”

A deep breath, then “okay.”

And with that, Spencer Reid was helped to stand with Derek's hand on his lower back. Derek used his other hand to scoop up their abandoned clothes from earlier. He hovered close on their walk to the bedroom, flicking hall lights on before he’d turn the previous rooms lights off. It was like a game, one light on, then two, then one again with a constant progression through the house. 

Reaching the bedroom, he turned the diffuser on it’s brightest setting, which bathed the room in soft pink light. Honestly, it was bright enough to let Spencer see each corner of the room comfortably. It reminded him of the nightlights that he had at home, and the comfort wasn’t lost on him. 

His brain took this moment, this soft and comfortable moment, to remind him that this was the first time he was sleeping over at someone’s house. He hadn’t in grade school and university because he had been leagues younger than the other students, and he hadn’t ever had a romantic partner before, so this was all new. 

His brain also took this moment to notify him that he was still wearing his baggy t-shirt, seldom leggings, and mismatched socks. 

The fact that Derek somehow found his mannerisms endearing was confusing. He was a grown man with little to no social skills, he wore mismatched socks, he was afraid of the dark. To Spencer, he was a glorified child with a ridiculous brain. 

Derek though, Derek was the man that everyone dreamed of. He was stable, mentally, and physically. He was gorgeous, with abs that could cut glass and the warmest eyes Spencer had ever seen. Spence was also quickly learning that he was calm, and compassionate when it came to anxiety and insecurity. On top of all of that, he knew how to use his hands and his mouth in ways that made him want to melt into a puddle on the floor. 

With all of that being said, why on god's green earth would Derek Morgan pick him?

“You’re in your head, pretty boy.” 

His thoughts cracked like a rock had just been thrown into a calm lake to disrupt the surface. He mentally shook himself back to reality.

“Sorry,” He meekly replied, eyes flitting to anywhere but Derek.

“No need to apologize, just don’t want you to get swept away in that pretty little head of yours,” Derek sauntered forward now, his hands resting on Spencer’s hips over his shirt. He couldn’t help but step a little further into Derek’s warmth, pulling a little chuckle out of the older man. 

When Derek brought their lips together, it was soft. Not chaste, just tender and gentle. His eyes fluttered closed as he relaxed. It felt like he was being let in on a secret, like he was being trusted with something valuable. 

A hand moved to cup Spencer’s cheek, and the warm palm on his skin only added to the intimate feel. A dim room, a soft kiss, and a man who he’d be getting into bed with. He felt just a little light-headed, but not like earlier. Now, it was like he was floating, flouncing above all of the problems in the world in favor of kissing the man who made him happy.

Separating from the kiss, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Bedtime, yeah?”

A quick nod and Derek was guiding him over to his bed which was plush and full of pillows. He peeled off the shirt he had been wearing before he worked on turning down the bed, and Spencer took this time to not-so-subtly check out his back and shoulders. How Derek was that built was beyond him, especially because his skin was so smooth and soft. He really won the genetic lottery, damn.

When they were finally in bed, it felt different than the last times they’d slept together. This was so much more intimate, facing each other in the dim light of the room. Their hands were quickly joined on the bed between their bodies.

“So, the boy genius is afraid of dogs and the dark?’ Derek teased, but there was no malice in it. How could there be, when his voice was so soft?

Spencer scoffed. “You know, having a fear of the dark is more common than being afraid of heights.”

“Uh-huh, I’m sure.”

“Annndd” Spencer continued, barreling past the interruption, “Cynophobia is common enough to be formally recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Lots of people are afraid of dogs.”

“Fears don’t always have to be justified baby” Derek murmured, punctuating his sentence with a squeeze of Spencer’s hand. Before Spencer could retort though with some very useful information on how phobias originate, Derek said something else. 

“So today I learned what you’re afraid of, and also that you have a daddy kink. All in all, I’d say that’s pretty productive.”

He could feel his face heating up, as his eidetic memory quickly supplied him with the scene from earlier. He had very clearly asked to call Derek “daddy”, and Derek had very clearly played into it. Whether it was for Spencer, or because he himself enjoyed it, has yet to be determined. 

“I did indeed ask to call you… that,” he started, “but if my memory serves me correct, you seemed pretty invested.”

This pulled a rumbling chuckle from him, who detangled their hands in favor of tugging Spence closer with a hand on his hip. They were chest to chest now, Spencer’s legs moving slightly so he could feel the soft sheets against his skin. His hands were resting on the muscles of Derek’s pecs, and if he focused enough he could feel a steady heartbeat underneath his palms.

“I can’t lie to you baby boy, that did do something for me. We’re gonna have to do that one again.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed”

“Oh I know you wouldn’t be opposed,” He smirked, popping a kiss to Spencer’s forehead. 

He relished in the kiss for a moment, before a thought struck him. 

“Derek? How are you so patient? Liking me makes enough sense to look past some of my stranger’s eccentricities, but what about the panic attack? Or the fact that I’m not sure what pleases me sexually?”

“Well, first of all, I can’t expect you to know what you’re into if you’re a virgin babe, that’s just not feasible.”

“Yes, but you recognize that and are still willing to be with me?”

“Spence, not everything is about sex baby. I like you for you, and adjusting for the things you know or don’t know isn’t a huge deal for me. Besides,” a lewd smirk came across his face, “that just means that I get to teach you.”

Spencer blushed but prattled on. “You’d be willing to explore those types of...Relations with me?”

“Willing is an understatement, it would be my pleasure babe. Why are you bringing this up though, is there something that piqued your interest?”

Just like that, his brain flashed back to all those days ago in the station, flipping through journals and honing in on a specific image, a specific idea. 

But he wouldn’t tell Derek that just yet. 

“Not particularly…”

“Uh-huh, sure. I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about it love.”

“Okay, but even taking into account that you may enjoy helping me explore those kinds of relations, that doesn’t account for my panic attacks or anxieties.”

Derek took a deep breath, seemingly thinking of how to phrase his next thought. 

“I gotta say, that did surprise me a bit.” Spencer shrunk in on himself at that, but Derek was quick to soothe him and explain himself. “I just meant that everyone has fears, but not everyone reacts so severely to them. Now that I know though, I can adjust.”

“You shouldn’t have to adjust for me though-”

“But I want to Spencer. I want to more than anything.”

A moment of silence as Spencer contemplated what had just been said. Derek, sweet, calm, thoughtful Derek wasn’t at all put off at the bits of Spencer that he was slowly learning about. Rather, he wanted to help and love him still. Normally, Spencer couldn’t wrap his head around such intense feelings, but this time he seemed to understand. Spencer could understand because he could relate. If it had been Derek having a panic attack, Spencer wouldn’t have been put off. He would have soothed him just as Derek did. 

“Thank you, Derek.”

“You thank me too much”

“I don’t think I that thank you enough”

______________________________________

The rest of the weekend was a beautiful, sexy haze. 

They opted to stay inside the entire time, relishing in the peace that came from being off of work. They cooked, they watched Netflix, they even went swimming. The whole time though, they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. 

Truly, it was this weekend that made Spencer grateful that he had an eidetic memory because he would never want to forget exactly how he felt. 

Monday morning came too soon, pulling them out of their little world and thrusting them back to reality. They had to rush to Spencer’s apartment to get his car so that they could ride separately to work, and the already-late gentleman were even later after a quick frot in Derek’s kitchen.

When Spencer was finally inside of his car and on the way to the BAU (following Derek’s truck), he was half an hour late, his clothes were slightly rumpled, and he had the goofiest grin plastered on his face.

The memory of being pressed up against the counter, his legs secure around Derek’s waste while their exposed lengths slid together in Derek’s hand…. Fuck. 

Derek was the hottest man he’s ever seen, but there was something much different about looking at Derek from afar and getting to experience his sweat-soaked skin rubbing up against him first thing in the morning. 

To think, a week ago he was a virgin, and now he was a thoroughly-debauched man who couldn’t get enough. 

He wondered if the rest of the BAU would be able to tell something changed in him; if his skin was glowing, or if his smile was bigger. 

Sex was something that Spencer never saw himself getting invested in. Once he’d reached 25 and was still a virgin, he kind of accepted that if he ever found a man who wanted to have sex with him he’d probably be so inexperienced that it was laughable. Besides, physicality had never been Spencer’s strong suit, all long clumsy limbs. He was like a baby deer trying to learn how to walk. 

Then Derek showed up. 

Derek was so experienced and so willing to guide Spencer through all of the nooks and crannies. He felt so taken care of, willing, and ready to learn whatever Derek was willing to teach. 

Spencer let his thoughts wander past this morning, wondering how things would progress when they had real sex for the first time. 

He wouldn’t lie, the idea was more than a little intimidating. Putting something inside of him was a lot different than using his hand, or even his mouth (which he was incredibly excited to try by the way). What would it feel like? Would Derek take his time preparing his body? Would he pry him open slowly, probing inside and readying his body for something much larger? He was nervous to potentially take Derek, but he was slowly warming up to the idea.

He shifted in his seat, trying to bring his attention back to the street in front of him instead of on his dirtier fantasies. 

When he arrived at the BAU, he joined Derek in the elevator up to their floor. In another world, he might have grazed their hands together or inched closer, but deep down Spencer knew that Garcia was probably watching them on the cameras and hoping to see a cute moment. 

Just like last Monday, the BAU was flooded with the light from the early morning sun. He still wasn’t a morning person, more preferring a late night with Derek over an early morning at the office. 

He had his to-go cup in hand, sipping carefully as he and Derek split off. Derek headed toward Garcia’s office for his notorious Monday-morning chit chat. More than likely she would try and pull out details about their weekend from him. In another life, maybe that would have bothered Spencer. Now though, he liked that Derek talked about him to his friends. 

Spencer made his way to his desk, settling in for a long day of paperwork. On a normal day, he’d finish his in about two or three hours tops, but somehow his stack always grew throughout the day as others snuck theirs in with his. He didn’t mind though, it was nice to be needed. 

Surprisingly though, Emily sauntered up to his desk sans paperwork. What she could need if she wasn’t trying to get out of work was beyond him, especially because no one usually talked to him before noon, or cup of coffee number three, whichever came first. 

“Hey Doc” she sing-songed, leaning up against the side of his desk and crossing her arms.

“Hi, Emily?’ He questioned, trying in vain to read her body language for any clue as to what she was up to. It was a futile effort, but an effort nonetheless. “Can I help you with something?”

“No no no, I just wanted to talk for a sec Reid, nothing wrong with talking to a friend right?”

He supposed that was a valid statement. Though he didn’t know that she considered him close enough to converse with casually. Usually, he tended to talk too much for other people’s sanity. “Of course,” Spence conceded.

“So how was your weekend? Do anything interesting?”

Ahhh, now it made sense. Derek had informed him over the weekend of Emily questioning him in the car. Obviously she suspected something was up between the two of them, but Spence wouldn’t budge so easily. 

“Oh, you know, just the usual. Did you know the first-ever use of the term ‘weekend’ can be traced all the way back to 1879?” Spencer said, a cheeky smile gracing his face before continuing. “It was used in a British magazine.”

“Uh-huh, very interesting Doc,” Emily said, barreling onward, “See anyone interesting? Maybe a pretty girl?”

“Pretty girls? Kinda early for a Monday, doncha think?” Derek Morgan said, choosing this moment to saunter up with two cups of coffee. He set Spencer’s cup next to him on the desk before posing himself against it. Opposite Emily, with Spencer in the middle. 

“Emily was just asking me about my weekend,” Spencer said, turning his head to look at the man now standing behind him.

“Oh? How was your weekend Spence?’

“Average I think.”

“Average?” Derek scoffed, “Nothing about you is average.”

“Oh my god, I give up. Nevermind, nevermind.” Emily said, throwing her arms up in exasperation as she made her way back to her desk. 

Derek and Spencer shared a small, secret smile before Derek ruffled his hair and moved to his own desk. Just like that, the day began as usual. They did the paperwork, they drank coffee, they occasionally bickered while treading to each other's desks and offices for breaks. All in all, it was a normal day, except for Derek. Derek supplied him with gentle, small smiles, or a hand on his shoulder, or on his lower back. Every single time, Spencer’s body would light up in response to his boyfriend. 

Honestly, the whole day was fantastically domestic and charming up until Hotch came out of his office and down the stairs. He stopped at Morgan's desk to drop some paperwork off, Rossi not too far behind. 

“Agent Morgan,” He started, “I’m sending you to New York to help out at Albany Field Office. They need your expertise in obsessive behaviors. Rossi will be traveling with you to guest lecture at Albany Law School. It’s noon now, your plane leaves in an hour, and your respective assignments are expecting you at 3:30.”

Just like that, Spencer deflated a little. 

Hotch moved to talk to JJ after giving Derek his instructions, the two of them wandering off. Spencer did his best to keep his mind focused back on the paperwork, not the fact that he’d be going home alone tonight. 

They’d been together less than a week, Spencer knew he had no right to be pouting over the fact that Derek had to leave him for a night or two. It wasn’t the end of the world. Was he sad? Of course. Would he show it? No. Derek didn’t need the extra stress of worrying if Spencer would be fine without him.

A throat clearing is what pulled Spencer out of his thoughts and directed his tension back to the man in question. Derek had a calculating look on his face but didn’t say anything. Instead, he jut his head in the direction of the conference room, silently asking Spencer to follow him. 

He waited for a few beats before following him, ignoring a knowing look from one Emily Prentiss as he did so. 

In the semi-privacy of the conference room, Derek placed a gentle hand on Spencer’s elbow, his other hand occupied by the mania folder Hotch had given him. 

“You good baby?” Derek murmured, his thumb rubbing back and forth. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Pretty Boy,” Derek pleaded, “I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s going on in your head.”

And just like that, Spencer conceded. He allowed the tension to melt away from his body in one breath, deflating and looking into those warm hazel eyes. “You have to leave,” He whispered, “I don’t want you to leave.”

Derek, for his part, looked sympathetic and absolutely taken with the man in front of him. “I know baby, I’m sorry. It’s just one night though, I’ll be back before you know it”

“I know, I’m trying not to hyper fixate on it. I’ll be fine, I’ll just miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too baby,” He murmured, finally pulling Spencer into a hug, tucking him within strong arms. “I don’t like being away from you, but I’ll call you tonight and hopefully that’ll help us both sleep a little better, yeah?”

“Yeah” His answer was muffled by the fabric of Derek’s shirt, nuzzling in deeper as if to hide from the rest of the world. It was reassuring at least to hear that it’d only be one night. There had been times when Hotch had sent him away for a full week to help at other locations.

One night, Spencer thought. One night and then Derek will be home. 

They said their goodbyes in the safety of the conference room, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to in front of the rest of the team. They kept the kiss quick and sweet, both trying to keep from getting wrapped up in one another. It wasn’t too long after that when Rossi and Derek were saying their goodbyes to the rest of the team to board the jet that would be taking them to New York. Emily’s eyes immediately trained to Spencer, and he didn’t miss the sympathy in them.

It’s gonna be a long day, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it's bee a while. I've been having some trouble trying to end this fic, and my frustrations with that also manifested in frustration with he fic overall. I'm back now though, and with a two-part chapter! The second part, detailing Spencer's night alone, will be up sometime this week. Because of this two-part chapter, and chapter 10 also potentially being two parts, you guys are in for a little more material than I originally thought, so that should be fun!
> 
> As always, feel free to leave your comments below. Seriously, the reassurance that you guys enjoy what I'm writing really does help with some of the anxieties that I have about it. 
> 
> ALSO! I have a Criminal Minds writing blog now! Feel free to drop some prompts or headcanons over at @deadbythursday on Tumblr! 
> 
> Thanks again for being patient throughout all of this, it really means a lot to me.


	10. Chapter 9 Pt. 2: Spencer

And a long day it was. 

Spencer didn’t end up getting back to his apartment until around 7 pm, which seemed short in contrast to the long days when they were working a case, but just for paperwork,it had taken him an obscenely long time once Derek had left. He just hadn’t been able to focus. 

Now, he was back at his apartment with his still-broken window, no Derek, and was thoroughly exhausted. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep though, he never could. Even after the longest of days, after physical and mental exertion, he would lay down and stare at the ceiling for hours. Truly, that was the most exhausting part of his day. He’d been spoiled with Derek the past few nights, but now he would have to adjust back to his old routine and hope that he’d get at least a few hours of sleep. 

Instead of dwelling on his situation, he decided to at least try to get settled in for the night. After shooting a quick text to his landlord about the window, he changed quickly into comfy clothes for the evening (briefs, a big t-shirt, and mismatched socks). His plan was to settle in and write up a new study to be published because of course, that’s what Spencer Reid did with his free time. 

He got Derek’s phone call about an hour in,, and every nerve in his body lit up as he resisted the urge to answer on the first ring. He couldn’t look like he was waiting for it, like some desperate housewife. 

“Hello?” He answered, trying not to let on how excited he was to hear from the other man. 

“Hey pretty baby, finally made it back to my hotel and wanted to check in on you.”

“Well, as of right now I’m still breathing so that’s a plus.” He spun a little in his desk chair, smiling even though Derek couldn’t see his goofy grin. 

“That’s always a plus in my book sweetheart.”

“How’s Albany?”

Derek took a deep, exhausted sigh. “Ridiculous. They call me in because they need my help, but don’t listen to me. What kind of bullshit is that?”

“What are they having you do?”

“They’re using a cold-case from a few years ago to train some recruits on analyzing crime scenes, and there are suggestions of obsessive behaviors in them. They called me in to essentially try and teach them the thought process.”

“Okay, that makes sense, but they aren’t listening?’

“No, they’re just looking at other suggestions in the crime scene and are running with it and I’m like, dude, this is why the case wasn’t solved in the first place you can’t pick and choose which evidence to look at.”

“That sounds frustrating.”

“It is,” He sighed again, and if Spencer listened hard enough he could hear Derek collapse onto his bed in his hotel room. ‘What are you up to, though? How was the rest of your day?”

He couldn’t tell Derek that he had been immensely distracted the whole time, so instead he focused on the after-work section of his day. “Nothing really, I finally texted my landlord about the window in my room. He’s coming to fix it tomorrow, so that’s a plus. I also finally finished my newest paper, so I think I’m going to send that in tomorrow. It’s about-”

“Wait just a second, love,” Derek said, “I do wanna hear about your paper, but first I wanna know if you’re staying in your apartment tonight.”

“Yeah? I mean where else would I go?”

“I don’t know, back to mine?’ Derek supplied, “I don’t like you sleeping with an open window, Spence.”

“Derek, I slept in there before we left for the case, it’s really not a big deal.”

“That was before I knew about it. Come on, just go back to mine for the night. Someone needs to keep Clooney company, he misses me so much when I’m gone.”

Spencer’s instinct was to refuse, to view Derek’s words as coddling or pity. He shouldn’t miss him just from being separated for a day, he shouldn’t need Derek to call him and comfort him. Derek was the one who had just had to deal with new recruits all day, Spencer’s day was only mildly frustrating because he couldn’t keep himself focused. That was on him. 

Spencer should be the one coddling Derek, letting him vent about whatever he needed to vent about. He shouldn’t be mopey and sad. 

But the thought of being at Derek’s house, even if he wasn’t home, was tempting. It was the closest that Spencer would get to being with him right now, and maybe in Derek’s bed, he would actually get some sleep tonight. 

Deep down, Spencer knew he wouldn’t refuse Derek’s instructions. He would do what he was told willingly and thankfully.

“Fine,” He conceded, “I’ll go to yours. Do you have a spare key somewhere?”

After a handful of instructions on how to access his well-hidden spare home key, along with the alarm code, Derek gratefully thanked Spencer. “I just want you to be safe,” He said, “and now I can go to sleep knowing that you’re gonna be. Helps me rest easier since I can’t be there with you.”

Spencer could feel his insides turning into mush at the kind words, but instead of outwardly swooning he just gave a curt ‘you’re welcome’, which made Derek laugh. His eyes flit to the clock on his desk, showing that it read a crisp 10 pm. If he wanted to pick some food up on the way he should leave now. 

“I should go,” he whispered into his phone, dejected. “I don’t want your neighbors to think I’m trying to break in or something.”

“Wait, you gotta tell me about that paper you were writing, Mr. Genius.”

Spencer chuckled, slightly surprised that Derek remembered. Derek was good at constantly surprising him. 

“How about tomorrow?”

“Fine fine, tomorrow. I expect to hear all about it.”

“Goodnight, Derek.”

“Goodnight, sweet boy”  
______________________

The drive to Derek’s house was relatively quick, given that the roads weren’t too busy at 10 pm on a Monday. His stomach had started growling within the first few minutes of the drive, so he made a quick trip to his favorite Chinese place before pulling up to Dereks. 

He couldn’t park in the garage since he didn’t have the fob, so he pulled up into the driveway instead. The streetlights were bright, but the inside of the house wasn’t which set his anxiety on edge. 

Calm down, he thought. Take deep breaths. Derek isn’t here to calm you down this time. 

He slung his duffle bag over his shoulder, the take out bag snug in his hand as he made his way up to the front door. Once he had secured the spare key, he unlocked the front door and quickly disabled the alarm that was directly inside. 

The problem with these actions though, was that he was now inside the house. Where it was dark.

Clooney could be heard snuffling around from his spot deeper in the house, probably sensing that someone else had arrived. Spencer couldn’t focus on that though, as his breathing became labored. 

Calm down, Spencer. If you pass out you’re screwed. 

“Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium,” he started. If he could just focus his mind on something else long enough to turn on the light switch, he’d be fine. He tried to steady his breathing, focusing on the periodic table.

The darkness felt like it was pulling him in though, wrapping its tendrils around him. It was heavy, he felt near crumbling, but he pulled in another stuttering deep breath in a vain attempt to calm himself. 

“Beryllium, B-Ber...B”

See, the thing that sucked most about these panic attacks was that he couldn’t do anything. He felt frozen in terror, as though if he moved then something was going to hurt him in some way. He could hardly even think about moving, too focused on continuing to take in oxygen. 

Fluorine was next, Spencer knew that, but he was choking on the words. Fuck. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, and the spots were popping up in the corner of his vision. 

I’m about to pass out in my boyfriend’s entry way, he thought, Derek’s in for a fun surprise when he gets home.

The last time this sort of thing happened to him he’d been alone in his own apartment. Spencer was keen on leaving his nightlights plugged in all day, but somehow the power had gone out while he was away. When he returned, all of his lights had been out, and he’d struggled internally with himself for only a few moments before passing out. Thankfully, a neighbor had heard him hit the floor and had come to his aid, but this time there would be no one to help. 

He felt something cold touch his fingertips and just like that his body was stuttering to get away from the sensation, practically throwing itself in the opposite direction. At this moment all of the fear in Spencer’s body made his blood run cold. Spencer only had a split second to think before reaching out an arm toward the light switch on his way down, nearly missing it. 

Thankfully though, he didn’t. The lights flickered only milliseconds before Spencer’s body hit the ground, he rolled onto his back, groaning and curling in on himself. He knew that he’d have bruises tomorrow, but this was still better than passing out. 

Looking up, he saw what cold thing had touched his hand as Clooney hovered above him, tail wagging. Evidently he had decided to greet Spencer at the door. Now, he was apparently trying to play as he snuffled at Spencer’s shirt and then his Chinese food.

“Hey, hey Clooney,” He said, a breathless laugh coming from his chest while he scratched at Clooney’s ears, “good boy, thank you, thank you.”

Eventually, he managed to pull himself off the floor, groaning the whole way up. It was smooth sailing from there as Clooney, the ever-attentive boy, escorted him to each light switch. He kept snuffling at Spencer’s sides, occasionally nudging at his hand as if Clooney could tell that’s what helped him. Spencer, meanwhile, drenched him in praise and promised him treats for being the best boy. 

______________________

After feeding Clooney and himself, they’d settled in on the sofa for a night in. Derek had been right, the company was nice even if he was a dog. They’d snuggled a bit before Spencer had finally decided it was time for bed.

He’d pillaged Derek’s closet for a t-shirt, and changed the color settings on the diffuser to a soft blue before opting to snuggle into bed. He was cozy and warm. The bed felt a little emptier without Derek in it, but it smelled like him still.

Spencer rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into Derek’s pillow and breathing deeply. It smelled like his shampoo, his cologne, him. It made the ache in his chest dissipate a bit. God, he still felt like a needy girlfriend with how much he missed Derek. He just wanted to go to sleep so that he could wake up and Derek would be home again. 

Maybe it was just his lack of relationship experience that made him so painfully clingy. It was like he was experiencing something so incredible for the first time that he was subconsciously afraid of having to go back to being alone. He wanted to feel this way forever, this deep emotion in his chest. Even if Derek was gone right now, Spencer could still hold onto that loving feeling by waiting for him to come home, by missing him. 

I wish he was here now, though.

If Derek was here now, he’d be wrapped around Spencer. He’d have strong arms wrapped around Spencer’s middle, a hand over his heart. His strong chest would be pressed up against his back, warm and hot through the thin material of the t-shirt. 

Derek was so incredibly warm, and to go from sleeping alone his whole life to sleeping against Derek was the most interesting change. He was able to sleep so peacefully when Derek was with him, he woke up feeling rested for the first time in years.

That was one of the only reasons that Spencer was okay with yielding to Derek’s demands. Maybe, with Derek’s scent on the sheets, Spencer would be able to trick his brain that Derek was wrapped around him still. 

Maybe Derek’s hands would trace along his chest, or up and under the t-shirt. Maybe they’d stroke up and down until Spencer was soothed to sleep… or…. Maybe he’d stroke his hand up and over Spencer’s stomach. Maybe he’d pinch Spencer’s nipples.

Spencer’s eyes snapped open as the sudden thought entered his mind, blinking into the dim light of the room. He could smell lavender from the diffuser mingling with Derek’s smell, soothing him. His mind had just supplied him with a much different image, a much sexier train of thought than before. 

Derek had come into Spencer’s life and turned the whole thing on its head, but the most noticeable had been Spencers…uh....drive. He went from 0 to 100 overnight, went from needing nothing, to needing everything at all times. To needing Derek at all times.

Spencer snuck his own hand in between the bed and his body. It followed the same path that Derek’s imaginary one did, teasing at his nipples, toying at them. 

A noise escaped Spencer’s throat, muffled in the pillow below. What he wouldn’t give for Derek to be here right now, stroking his skin and toying with him.

Derek would be rocking against his ass, passively taking his pleasure while actively providing Spencer his. He’d sneak his hand down into Spencer’s briefs, he’d tease the sensitive flesh of the head before taking the shaft in hand and pumping along with his thrusts. 

Spencer practically thrust his own hand into his briefs, pumping in time with his fantasies and moaning wantonly into the pillow. Maybe if he was lucky then Derek would force his underwear down, thrust in the cheeks of Spencer’s ass, and catch against his hole. 

His other hand snaked above his head to grip at the headboard while he fucked into his fist, hips and hand stuttering to keep up with what his brain was supplying him. He wanted to cum in Derek’s hand, he wanted Derek to paint his ass with his seed, he wanted Derek to slip inside of his furled hole and fuck him senseless-

His hand stopped. His chest was heaving, lungs trying to help him catch his breath.

Was that really what he wanted? Did he want Derek to fuck him? 

He’d never experienced that before, having something inside of him in such a way, but he had to admit that the thought did sound appealing. 

As his breathing leveled, Spencer Reid was struck with an idea.

He fumbled into Derek’s bedside drawer, triumphant when he successfully wrapped his hand around the lube. They’d used it over the weekend, a blissful glide that made rutting against each other painfully easy. Now though, he’d be using it solo. 

He’d only tried this a handful of times before, usually chickening out at the last second. This time though, this time was different. This time he had someone to practice for. 

He coated his hand generously, kicking his briefs off as he did so. Now left in only Derek’s shirt, he spread his legs and reached back to rub at his entrance. He was hesitant to push inside, simply stroking at his entrance and relishing in the pleasure that the muscles provide. 

When the tip of a finger breached the ring to slide inside, it was foreign. It didn’t feel bad per se, but it was something different than anything he’d experienced before. When a second finger joined the first, that’s when a slight discomfort twinged. 

He allowed himself to adjust to the invasion. His heat was tight, clenching around his own fingers. He could feel the stretch, the resistance to the foreign sensation, but below that he could feel a slight pleasure building into something heavier. 

He waited before probing around, carefully moving to search for the bundle of nerves inside of him. He knew that he just had to reach it and then the script would flip-

Oh. 

Oh.

He gasped, a heavy breath into the pillow and he felt desperate for air. It felt good. It felt very good. It felt like every single nerve in his body was on fire, alight with a pleasure that had previously been unfathomable. He felt his thighs twitching as he pumped his fingers in and out of his body. 

His cock was so painfully hard, swollen and leaking into the bed sheets below, and he finally let his mind wander to what could be again. If these were Derek’s fingers he’d surely be a lot more confident in his motions, he’d hit Spencer’s sweet spot over and over again. He wouldn’t miss like Spencer was, only hitting that sweet, perfect spot every other thrust. 

Derek would slide his fingers in and out and carefully pry Spencer open, readying him for bigger and better things. 

He could feel his hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, and he clutched at the bedsheets next to his head. He tried to match the ruthless pace he imagined Derek would set, fucking himself with long, lithe fingers.

He was sure that all he would have to do to get Derek to fuck him hard would be to beg for it, so beg he did. Spencer pleaded into the pillow, rocking his hips forward to grind into the bed and backward to grind into his fingers. 

Fuck, it felt good. With every thrust of his fingers, he was getting shocks of pleasure up his spine, with every grind of his hips the friction on his length. What would it feel like when Derek would pull his fingers out? He’d probably feel empty, he’d probably whine and beg for the pleasure again. 

Derek would surely give it to him, with something bigger. The blunt head of his hot cock would press against his hole. The head of his cock would slip inside, lubed and raw, and inch by inch he would fill Spencer's wanting body. 

What he wouldn’t give to feel Derek’s hips slapping against his ass, hitting that spot over and over again. What he wouldn’t give to feel Derek’s body press him into the bed with his weight, to hold him down and make him beg for more. 

When Spencer finished it was with a cry of Derek’s name. His seed coated the sheets below him, a puddle under his stomach. His vision went white as wave after wave of pleasure rifted off of him. His body was wracked with tremors, thighs quivering, and dick pulsing to spurt out every last drop of him. He was panting into the pillow, slowly his consciousness was coming back to him. 

He flopped onto his back in a weak attempt of getting away from the mess. He was starfished, panting, satisfied, and sedated.

He could feel his eyelids growing heavy, sleep ready to overtake his body at any second. He fumbled for his phone first though, pawing at it so that the face id could recognize him. It took it a second, but eventually, it unlocked and allowed Spencer to send off a message to Derek. 

Spencer: I’m finally headed to bed, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Miss you <3

With his message sent he rolled back onto his side, snuggling into the pillows and drifting, surprisingly, into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I look pretty good for a dead bitch. 
> 
> This chapter is a special one because it's the part 2 of the previous, so we have two Spencer POV's in a row! I know, kinda crazy, but next week we'll resume our regularly scheduled programming with Derek Morgan again. Next week will also mark the end of this fic, though I do have a few one-shots planned off of this. 
> 
> Seriously though, thank you guys for sticking with me through this process. All of your kind words, here and on Tumblr, really have helped me with this piece. 
> 
> A special thank you to @starsandsupernovae for beta reading this chapter for me, you're an incredible human. Anyone who likes Criminal Minds should also go ahead and follow @reid-and-writing on Tumblr for more amazing content from Dani!
> 
> With that, for more Criminal Minds content from yours truly, go ahead and follow @deadbythursday on Tumblr. My requests and ask box are open, so don't be afraid to drop by!


	11. Chapter 10: Derek

Somehow, there was always a certain narcissism that came with FBI superiors at other locations. They always seemed to take it personally when someone with expertise had to be called in, they seemed to take it as a slight to their value. It was frustrating, considering it made it twice as hard to do his job, which meant that he was there longer. 

He didn’t let it get to him though, he had called Spencer early before leaving for work that morning, and he promised his baby boy that he would be home that evening. He couldn’t break that promise. 

Every time that he had been met with sass or snark that day he breezed past it. He ignored the clarifications on his training, he ignored the jabs. Every time a comment was made, he simply continued his teaching and moved on. Honestly, it seemed to make his teaching better when he wasn’t so damn focused on his annoyance. 

To pair with that, he took an alternative method of presentation. Instead of just explaining where the obsessions were displayed, he guided the new recruits through the hoops, merely pointing things out to push them in the right direction. It seemed to work, and by the afternoon their training had been tied up in a neat little bow. 

Truly, he liked guest speaking. It was fun to be so good at his job that they needed him in other states, that his superiors trusted his judgment and training so much. Derek Morgan was a confident man, and he was confident because he had earned it. The ego-stroking was always appreciated though.

He and Rossi had opted to travel back to the BAU separately, with Rossi having decided that an additional day of lecturing was necessary. That guy was one of the most sought after lecturers in the country, with thousands of invitations. He didn’t accept many of them, but when he did he took it seriously. 

The last thing that Derek wanted to do was stay late though. He’d hardly slept the night before, tossing and turning for hours. When he finally had drifted off, it had been dreamless and he’d woken up a few hours later. The whole time his brain was stuck on Spencer, on whether or not his pretty boy would actually be able to sleep tonight.

Spencer’s text had only done so much to soothe him considering how late it came. There was no way that he managed to fall asleep right after sending it, so he had most likely been up for a few more hours at least. The thought was stressful, plaguing his thoughts of a nightmare-ridden Spencer all alone. 

Now though, he was only separated from him by a quick jet ride. This jet ride specifically gave him more than enough time to reflect on the past few days. 

Yes, being separated from his boyfriend had caused his anxiety to skyrocket, and yes it had had an effect on his sleep. However, having someone to come home to really made his heart light up. It was nice to know that someone missed him, wanted him. It was even nicer to know that that particular someone was the same Spencer Reid who Derek had spent years pining over. 

Spencer, who was so new to this whole situation. It wasn’t lost on him that he was a lot of firsts for Spencer, but most notably his first boyfriend. There was a certain amount of pressure that came with that, he wanted to outdo himself with every passing day. Spencer hadn’t ever been treated to movie dates before or quiet nights in. He hadn’t ever been able to walk into an event with a date on his arm, or been treated to romantic nights. 

He was Spencer’s first boyfriend, and if he wanted to be his last then he’d have to do a damn good job.

This was the thoughts that accompanied Derek on his jet ride home, sauntering out of the elevator as the clock struck 5. 

It was late, yes. This was normally quitting time for people who had normal jobs and normal lives. Not them though, as most of the team was still struggling away at their desks, still filling out casefiles. 

This was the part of the job that took the most out of them. Yes, they all had deep-seated emotional trauma that just sort of came with the job, but their hours were so abnormal. It was difficult for any of them to form stable relationships, let alone keep them, given that they were always on the clock. 

For a long time, Derek had fantasized about a work-life balance. He’d wanted normal hours, regularity and routine so that he could build the family that he’s always wanted. He had spent years dreaming, and eventually, he had let those dreams seep away. If there was one thing that would never become a reality, it was routine while working for the FBI. 

Now though, he saw that he could have the other half of that dream. He could build a family, a life. His optimism had steadily come back to him as the past few days had progressed, mainly due to one Spencer Reid. 

Derek caught sight of Spencer through the glass, and nearly swooned then and there. He had missed him so much, even just a night away had weighed on his heart. 

Now though, now he was home. 

He could see the cut of Spencer’s jaw, all sharp bone, and angles. He could see the studious, attentive nature of his eyes as they narrowed to study whatever was on the page in front of him. He could see the hair falling out of his ponytail and into his face, he could see the annoyance in Spencer’s face as he brushed it away and wrote even faster as if making up for the lost time. 

Derek could see his own sweatshirt draped over the back of Spencer’s chair. The hand that wasn’t writing was on his lap, holding the sleeve, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the fabric as if it was Derek’s hand that he was holding. 

The sight melted him. 

Spencer had stolen a hoodie from his closet and was using it as a comfort object. Spencer Reid. Spencer, his boyfriend. 

Spencer was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. He had cared for the doctor for so long but had settled on caring from a distance. Now though, that distance wasn’t necessary anymore. He could care, he could dote, he could spoil and dare he say that he could love up close and personal. 

Spencer deserved the world. He had been gifted with his brain, yes, but also with the biggest, kindest heart of anyone that Derek had ever met. Spencer was a man who gave to everyone he met even at the expense of himself. He prioritized the feelings and happiness of the team over his own.

All at once, Derek got an idea. 

He let himself have one more look at Spencer through the glass, one last longing look before he continued on down the hall. If there was one woman who could help him execute a plan, it was Penelope Garcia. 

__________________________________

“Enter, mere mortal, and grovel at my kitten-socked feet.”

He chuckled but entered. The door closed behind him with a soft ‘click’, and when she turned in her chair to see him she practically lit up. He was quick to walk into her waiting arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her waiting head. She was always so excited when he got back, and honestly, he couldn’t blame her. There was a very distinctive comfort in having someone waiting up for him. 

“My sweet adonis has returned to me.”

“Always will baby girl, always will.”

“So what, my sweet chocolate god, brings you into my lair today? Have my pheromones finally trapped you?”

“You wish sweetness, gotta try a little harder than just pheromones.” He chuckled, falling quickly back into their comfortable banter. This was good, this was home. 

“Noted, I will be sure to wear my dirtiest negligee to work tomorrow.”

“Oh, I love me a good negligee, that might be the thing that finally does me in sugar.”

“God I sure hope so.”

Her smile was blinding, almost as blinding as the sparkly barrettes in her hair or the feathers on her pen. She was the walking, talking embodiment of happiness and optimism. This world didn’t deserve Penelope Garcia. She was one of the few people that he trusted unconditionally. 

“I need a favor, baby girl,” he started, “Something that I think those devious little fingers of yours might be able to help me with.”

“My devious little fingers can make anything happen,” she was already spinning in her chair, tippity tapping on her computer. “Whatcha got for me?”

“There's this restaurant that I want to take Reid to tonight, but it’s kind of last minute. No reservation.”

“Ahhh,” she sing-songed, “So you expect me to make a reservation for you and someone who isn't me?” There was no hint of jealousy in her voice, just a teasing amusement. She was already working her magic, opening up various windows on her computer. He had no idea what she was doing, but he was immensely grateful

“Dollface, if you can make this happen for me I will spoil you for the rest of my life.”

“That’s a big price tag for something that will take me a few minutes. I’m sold.” Another window opened on her computer. “Where at?”

“Tope La, it’s downtown.”

“Ooooo that’s fancy sugar, you’re treating him tonight.” 

It was incredibly fancy. He’d only been in there once before when his mom and sisters had come into town. It had struck him as overly posh, upscale. The whole place was lit by fairy lights, draped in greenery, with white table cloths and candles. It was a little too posh for his noisy family, but for an intimate dinner with his boyfriend? It sounded damn near perfect

“Yeah, that's the goal. Gotta spoil the little ones.”

“Who do I turn in my application to in order to be one of these ‘little ones’?”

“We accept applications Monday through Thursday, 8 am until 5.”

‘Ah, normal business hours are a respectable operation. I’m more interested in what happens outside of those business hours though.”

“Wouldn't you like to know, kitten?”

“Well, your reservation has been made for 7:30 pm. Why Tope La though?”

“There's a classic horror film show going on downtown tonight, I figured Reid might like it”

He had seen ads for it posted around town before they left for their previous case. Originally he thought that they’d be long gone when it happened, whether stuck on that same case, in another state on a different one. He figured that they’d never have time to go, but now their schedules had left them with a neat little window of time. It had all fallen into place so well, the only thing that wasn’t perfectly in place was the dinner reservations.

“Oh he will, he tried to get JJ and me to go to a Korean film festival a while back. I think he’ll really like that.”

She had a soft, goofy grin on her face now. It was clear that she was invested in the romance Derek was attempting to put on. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling either, too wrapped up in the novelty of the situation.

“You're really good to him, I'm glad he has you, Derek.”

“I'm glad I have him.”

There was a beat of silence, a moment that sat on the two of them comfortably. This was his best friend, hacking into whatever she had to hack into so that he could give his boyfriend the romantic night out that he deserved. 

“It's nice to see you so happy.” She said.

“It’s nice to be this happy baby girl.”

____________________________

The button-up hugged Derek’s chest, accentuating the muscles of his chest. He had paired the baby pink dress shirt with a navy blazer, dark washed jeans, and some sneakers. All in all, he looked like a million bucks, which is why he wasn’t surprised by the way Spencer reacted.

Derek sauntered into the living room, where Spencer had curled up on the sofa. He looked painfully domestic, wrapped up with Clooney, and a cup of tea. He was wearing the hoodie that had been on the back of his chair earlier, still rubbing the sleeve between his thumb and forefinger. He had lovingly settled in for the night, unaware of the plans Derek had made for them.

“You look… Jesus Christ...Wow.”

“Why thank you, sir,” He smiled. He could practically feel the happiness seeping out of his pores at the sight of his boyfriends ogling eyes. “Now it’s your turn.”

There was a beat of silence as Spencer took in what Derek had just said. He blinked once, twice, and then his head cocked to the side in confusion, eyes narrowing in slight suspicion. 

“My turn?”

“Sure is baby, gotta get dressed. I have plans for us.” He could feel his smile getting even larger with every second that it took Spencer to compute. 

“Plans?”

“Yes baby, plans. I need you to dress up real nice so that I can take you out for a night that you deserve.”

Finally, that seemed to do the trick. He watched his sweet, precious boy stop moving his fingers along the hoodie sleeve. It was like the words hadn’t previously been cataloged in his brain, not in that order at least, and Derek was physically watching them compute inside of him. There was a second when his eyes went glassy, almost like he was going to cry, but instead, he gave one careful nod, stood, blinked a few times at the floor and then at Derek, and then excused himself to change. 

Sometimes, seeing the way that Spencer reacted to care startled him. It was like he had never in his life experienced another human who wanted to spend time with him, let alone spoil him. It gave Derek a few mixed feelings. At first, it made his heart hurt, ache for the poor man who hadn’t ever experienced true affection. On the other hand, it was a privilege to be able to do this for him, spoil him and make him feel special in a way that no other man could. 

Spencer had brought a few different changes of clothes in his duffle from the night before, and thankfully they worked somewhere that demanded fancy clothes. As a result, Spencer had an amalgamation of blazers and button-ups to pick from. 

Derek was already planning on making a place in his closet so that Spencer wouldn’t have to go home all of the time for clothes. The thought excited him.

When Spencer finally emerged from the bedroom, he took Derek’s breath away. 

Gone was the hoodie, and the comfy pajama pants and in its place was a completely different man. 

He’d opted for tapered black dress pants which emphasized his long legs beautifully. His shirt was lightweight and flowy, black and white, and patterned with abstract faces, buttoned up to his neck. His watch was on his wrist, his hightops were on his feet, and all in all, he looked like the most gorgeous man that Derek had ever had the privilege of looking at.

The thing that really made it though was the hair. Reid had for some reason opted to pull his hair up into a loose topknot, fashioned on top of his head. It was sexy, it made Derek feel some time of way. Specifically, it made him feel like he wanted to tangle his hands in it and tug.

“You look…. Wow. Just. Wow.” He wasn’t subtle in the way he was checking Spencer out, ogling his boyfriend without pause. Spencer looked flustered, fidgeting under Derek’s praise and prying eyes. 

He tried to speak, but it came back as more of a squeak. He cleared his throat, before offering Derek a weak ‘thank you’ in response. 

With that, they made their way to the front door.

There was a mirror in Derek’s entryway, above the table where he’d normally throw his keys. On their way out, Derek caught Spencer by the wrist. He couldn't help himself, he wanted so desperately to see how they looked together, he wanted to see what the world would see when they looked at them.

And he was not disappointed. 

Derek looked mature, a refined sort of sexy that always seemed to come with age. His suit jacket hugged him in the most delicious way, his scruff looked neat, and his smirk looked cheeky. Spencer though, Spencer was the one who really completed the picture. Spencer was lean, almost feminine in that aspect, an ethereal sort of beautiful. His cheekbones could cut glass, his eyes were piercing and studious, taking them in as well.

Together though, together they looked like a million dollars. They looked like the sexiest duo to ever grace the streets of Virginia, maybe the world. The stark contrast of Spencer’s white skin against his chocolate, his lanky frame against Derek's broad, his attentive eyes against Derek’s casual smile. The contrast was immaculate. Truly, the only thing that he could think about was them as a pair. A duo. A couple. 

He snuck his arm around Spencer’s waist, using his free hand to pull his phone out. He snapped a quick picture of them, sending it off to Garcia with a few emojis and a thank you message. They looked so good that he wanted to remember it, he’d probably make it his phone background later.

With that, they were finally, actually off.

Derek upped his pace so that he could pull Spencer’s door open for him, not missing the flush that dusted his cheeks. He was lathering the charm on heavy, he wanted to make sure that this man felt romanced the whole night long. That started the moment that they had stepped out of the house. 

Derek slid into the driver's seat, starting his truck up, turning on some lo-fi music on low in the background, and resting his large hand on Spencer’s thigh as they pulled out of the driveway and onto the busy streets. A quick glance at the clock told him that he had more than enough time to get them there, so he opted for a more scenic route to their destination. 

Spencer looked like he was resisting every urge in his body to ask questions, occasionally even making noises like he was about to talk and then cutting himself short. It was cute, watching his eyes flit around and take in their surroundings, clearly trying to figure out where they were headed. 

Guess the scenic route was the best choice, Derek thought, considering that now it’ll actually be a surprise.

The drive sat in silence, but it was comfortable, Spencer’s hand was resting on top of his, stroking his thumb over the skin, and it brought back the memory of Spencer stroking the cuff of Derek’s hoodie in the office and then again on Derek’s sofa. 

He liked that he could be a comfort to Spencer even when he wasn’t around. 

When they pulled up to Tope La, Spencer took a sharp intake of breath and it wasn’t hard to see why. The place was absolutely stunning, nestled amongst the bustling streets of downtown. It sat on the corner, the facade all brick and large windows. What really got him though was that there was what looked to be a sort of awning for outside seating, all-white fabric and fairy lights that made the restaurant look cozy.

The building was gorgeous and very upscale. 

Spencer was still blinking at the building in front of them when Derek circled the car to open his door. He would obviously be escorting him in since he was a true gentleman. There was some stuttering, some confused noises, some more blinking, but Derek shushed him with a quick kiss to his lips. 

He could see how this whole thing might be more than a little overwhelming. Spencer was gripping at the crook of Derek’s elbow, fingering the material of his jacket there, and Derek rested a hand over his. 

Spencer seemed a little anxious, probably something to do with the pressure of the first date being in such a fancy place. He was buzzing a little, wide-eyed with nerves and a little excitement.

It was pretty obvious that Spencer had moderate-to-severe anxiety as it related to certain things. Previously it seemed to manifest in his aversion to touch, and his repulsion to physicality in general. Now though, it’s almost like since he was comfortable with Derek’s touch his anxiety was manifesting in his self-soothing. 

Honestly, though, Derek wasn’t too bent on it. If his baby boy needed to rub at the fabric of his jacket, or his hoodies or his skin so that he could calm himself then Derek wouldn’t comment. Instead, he rubbed at Spencer’s hand, gave his name to the front desk, and soon they were off to their table. 

“This place is so posh,” Spencer murmured. His eyes were scanning over the decor as they walked.

“Only the best,” Derek answered, and they shared a small, private smile. 

They were so blatantly infatuated with each other, trading smiles and giddy looks. He knew what Spencer was thinking; they’d spent a lot of time together over the past week, intimate time. Now though, this was their first out-of-the-house date. This was their first date date.

They were ushered over to a secluded table. It was all candlelit, but this table specifically was tucked into the corner, nearly blocked from the rest of the occupants by foliage. He didn’t know if this table had also been a part of Garcia’s handiwork, but regardless, that woman would be drowned in praise for her help. A goddess, truly.

They placed their drink orders, and when they were left to their own devices they burst into a fit of chuckles. It was all so exciting. 

Part of the reason that Derek had picked this place specifically was that they didn’t have to decide on their orders. This place was really posh, one of the few that this town had, and here whatever they were eating was up to the chef's discretion. Neither of them had any particular aversions to food, and Spencer was so interested in so many things that Derek figured it checked every box. 

“What’dya think?” Derek questioned. “Better than a night on the couch?” 

“I’m not too sure yet.” Spencer was feigning nonchalance, shrugging his shoulders and doing his best to look coy. “I guess it depends on how the food is.”

A beat of eye contact, and then they both erupted in giggles. The patrons near them were eyeing them like they were crazy, but neither of them could be bothered. They were far too wrapped up in one another. 

Their ankles tangled under the table, their hands tangled on top of it, and immediately they were wrapped up in one another's company. They caught up on the past evening, lovingly detailing each minute they’d spent apart. They talked about Spencer’s window (which had now been fixed), how Derek’s mother was (she called him once a week to check on him, and she was already itching to meet Spencer), and Spencer’s newest academic paper (it had been published and had gotten nothing but praise from various figures in the academic field).

“I gotta say,” Derek started, “It’s so fun to be the trophy boyfriend. I get to date a doctor.”

“Oh my gosh Derek, you are not a trophy boyfriend.” Spencer hissed, slapping a hand onto his chest but his smile betrayed him. 

“You’re right, you’re right, from the outside it sure looks like you're the trophy boyfriend given how young and hot you are. Only you and I are privy to the truth.”

“Nooo,” Spencer whined, laughing across the table and smiling wide. Soon enough, he’d realize what a prize he was. 

“Seriously though, if you write these fantastic academic papers while I’m gone then maybe I should be guest lecturing more often.”

“Unnecessary. It doesn’t take me two full days to write a paper, Derek. Depending on the length I only need between 1 to 3 hours to finish.”

“Truly a speed demon. The Usain Bolt of academics.”

Derek smirked when Spencer blinked a few times, seemingly computing the name before it clicked, registered in his brain, and then he immediately started rattling off facts and statistics. He didn’t seem to care about the weight of athletics on the population, he didn’t seem to understand the fanfare that came with rallying behind athletes. What he did understand though, is physics. This man was rattling off some extremely complicated calculations about wind resistance to runners, and Derek found the whole thing incredibly charming. 

The waitress looked really confused when she dropped off their first course though.

Their appetizer was an heirloom tomato salad with cucumbers, spicy shrimp, and basil. The whole thing was incredible, Derek especially loved seafood. 

“This is all so fancy Derek,” Spencer said in between bites. “Why did you go all out like this? We could have just had dinner at ho- at your house.”

Derek hadn’t missed that Spencer had almost referred to Derek’s place as home, but he wouldn’t comment on it. Clearly he was nervous about his slip up, shifting in his seat. 

“Yeah, we could’ve done that. The thing with that though is that I feel like you haven't been spoiled nearly enough.” He smirked at Spencer’s blush but continued on. “I’m a sucker for a good night in, don’t get me wrong, but you definitely deserved to be taken out and wined and dined. I really, genuinely wanna spoil you, Spence.”

“Why though?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because I like making you feel special, and I want to show you how important you are to me.”

He was eyeing him not warily, but in a way that seemed to be studying Derek. He wasn’t looking for a lie, he wasn’t fishing for validation, it was like he was trying to figure out how the romance was supposed to work. Derek, for his part, just finished his food and allowed himself to be observed.

“I’m important to you?” The sentence seemed to come out before it could be filtered in Spencer’s brain, and he flushed harder at it. The waitress came to collect their now-empty plates, prompting a beat of silence while they waited for her to walk away. When she was gone though, he answered. 

“Spencer, baby,” he murmured, “you are single-handedly the smartest, most talented, beautiful man. I know that you haven't really been romanced properly, and I am ready to make up for lost time. ‘Cause you deserve it. Yes, you’re important to me.”

“No one’s ever done anything like this for me.”

“Well, it’s an honor to be the first. I fully plan on doing my best to make you happy, and to let you know how much I care about you.”

Spencer melted. His eyes got a little glassy, and he looked on the verge of tears. This quickly had gone from upbeat fun conversation to deep and emotional in the span of a few sentences, but it needed to be said. Spencer was so deeply insecure, but Derek was prepared to validate him as much as he needed it. He’d work for that comfort. 

Before the stuttering man in front of him could formulate a response, their entrees arrived. It was a breaded red snapper with cauliflower puree, hot buttered crab, and a sweet pea and summer squash risotto. 

It felt decidedly fancy, but what he really loved was Spencer’s face. Spencer was a man who was informed about so many things; art, science, mathematics, engineering. He knew so much and food was no exception. He had dined at some of the most upscale places in America during his travels, mostly for culture and experience.

There was no way that the beauty of this food was lost on him, nor the quality. 

He didn’t miss the moan when Spencer took a bite, the way his eyes rolled back, and his lips wrapped around his fork. Truly it was a sight to see, near raunchy, and for a moment all of his breath was taken away by the man in front of him. He was beautiful. 

Spencer’s eyes flit up to make eye contact.

“Is something wrong?” He said once he had finished. 

Derek shook himself out of his stupor, forcing himself back down to reality. “No, no nothing’s wrong.” He chuckled and began tucking into his own food. “You just look good is all. Kind of distracted me.”

Every time that Spencer blushed it got cuter, mostly because he looked less and less like he would refuse the compliment. Instead, he would blush, avert his eyes, and smile to himself. Precious. 

They ate in a comfortable silence after that, occasionally popping in for bits of conversation. It was an incredibly cozy environment, tucked away in the back of this restaurant with good food and even better company. 

Their plates were cleared for the second time that night, their hands were clasped over the table, and over the course of the evening their chairs and inched closer together. 

Derek was so painstakingly gone on this man, on his genius and his insecurities. Everything about him radiated energy that he so desperately wanted to love and provide for. It all sounded so corny in his head like he was regurgitating paragraphs from a romance novel. He could care less though, if Spencer was turning him into a sap then so be it. 

Dessert, though, that was when things really seemed to take a turn. 

They brought them something called a pot du creme, along with a goat cheese panna cotta. Both were decadent, deliciously fancy, but if Derek thought that he had a problem with Spencer during entrees then he was hardly prepared for this. 

Spencer was moaning. He was making delicious, guttural sounds as he scooped up the chocolate custard. It tasted like hazelnut, and caramel and Spencer’s sweet tooth was thriving. He was licking at his spoon with a certain energy. Derek was caught on the movements of his tongue, on the way his eyes would flutter with enjoyment. He was turning his dessert into an absolute display. 

Derek couldn’t even begin to focus on his own dessert, too wrapped up in his boyfriend's near obscene eating of his own. 

Spencer Reid was many things, a genius, gorgeous, but most of all he was calculated. Derek would swear that there was a glint in his boyfriend's eye. Derek would swear that he caught sight of a smirk or two, a slight cock of the head. The look in his eyes was mischievous, and by the time that Spencer finished with his display, Derek was solid in his pants.

Spencer, for his part, looked pleased with himself. 

“Your-” He cleared his throat, “You liked your desert, babyboy?’

“Mmmhmm,” Spencer hummed his affirmations, still smirking, “It was really excellent, I’m a big fan of chocolate.”

Derek, who had finally been able to start taking a bite of his dessert, choked. When he had finished his minor coughing fit, his suspicions were confirmed as he looked up into the sly smile of one Spencer Reid. 

Of course he’s taken now to be confident. Of course, it's when we're in public. 

“Yeah? Tell me more about that then.”

“Glady,” Spencer was practically purring, his head cocked to the side in mock-thought. “It’s so smooth, thick. I’m really a fan of that kind of thing.”

“Smooth and thick?”

“Smooth and thick.”

Derek’s brain was slowly, but surely, turning to mush.

__________________________________

When they finally wrapped up dinner, Derek paying and then escorting Spencer to the car, Spencer seemed to think that was the end of the night. When they were in the truck, he pushed the center consol up into the seat so that he could plaster himself to Derek’s side. 

He was nuzzling at him, stroking up and down his biceps and making happy noises in his ear. 

“Spence,” he had a strong grip on Spencer’s thigh, kneading at the muscle under his slacks. He needed to stop this before it started. Spencer was obviously keen on other activities right now, but Derek was far from willing to sacrifice the rest of his night. “Come on babe, nights not over yet.”

He hummed again, continuing to nuzzle his nose into Derek’s neck. “You're right, the night won’t end until we’re home.”

“No, no that’s not what I mean, baby boy.” He chuckled, taking his hand off of Spencer’s leg in favor of starting up the car. “There’s a classic horror movie film festival going on at one of the theaters downtown. Wanted to take you.”

Spencer froze again, pulling back to look Derek in the eye. He was studying him again, looking for any sign of a joke, or any tease. Obviously he didn’t find one, considering that Derek did this out of love. Spencer pulled back further after that. 

“Really? For real?”

“Yeah?” 

“That’s- I love that. Wait, you’re seriously taking me to a film festival?”

“Yes Spence, I’m seriously bringing you to a film festival.” He chuckled as he started to back out of the parking lot. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I just- I guess I just figured that it would end at dinner?”

“It can if you want it to, but I just thought that you’d enjoy it is all.” He shrugged, glancing at Spencer briefly as he continued to drive. 

“No no no I’d absolutely love to go. I love classic horror movies, especially Universal Pictures. They sort of coined classic horror films, really made them popular to the public.”

“Yeah? Which one’s your favorite?” 

Spencer was sitting up straighter now, less focused on bodily activities and more focused on the topic at hand. It was interesting to watch, given that Spencer could go from horny to a textbook in a matter of sentences. 

“Easily Dracula. The original is so interesting. Did you know that you can see armadillos in a lot of the scenes? It’s because they were often seen digging in graveyards, and a lot of people used to be under the impression that they would dig their way into the coffins to eat dead bodies. Ultimately it wasn't true, but a lot of people thought it was at the time so they are seen in the film.”

“I actually did not know that, but I guess that’s what I have you for right? To tell me all of the things that I don't know.”

“Yeah,” Spencer said, his voice soft. “That’s what you have me for.”

________________________________________

The film festival had actually started hours before while they were at dinner, which meant that they had missed a handful of classics. The whole ride there though Derek couldn’t help but beg whatever god above there was that they hadn’t missed Dracula. 

The whole night was falling into place so beautifully, being able to watch Spencer’s favorite classic horror movie would be the icing on the cake. 

Surprisingly there was a lot of foot traffic as people cycled in and out between films, and Derek was able to catch some brief conversation about Frankenstein and what he guessed to be The Invisible Man, and hope was filling his chest. 

Spencer seemed oblivious to Derek’s wishes though, practically bouncing up and down in delight as they filed into the theater. There was such a childlike energy about him, prattling on and on about various posters, actors, remakes, etc. 

It was impossibly charming. 

They filed into their seats along with the rest of the crowd, hands clasped and smiles on. The theater that they were in was an old one that the town used for various events throughout the years, so there was a certain old-world charm to the building that only added to Spencer’s Rolodex of talking points.

It was only when the lights dimmed that Spencer ceased, as did the rest of the audience. Everyone was waiting in anticipation to see what film would play next. 

When Dracula popped up on the screen, he could hear Spencer’s sharp intake of breath. A glance to his side and he could see the goofiest, most giddy grin plastered on his boyfriend’s face. Before his eyes could be glued to the screen, there was a split second where they made eye contact, and Derek had a feeling that their thoughts were the same. 

A perfect night. 

_____________________________________________-

Spencer had been surprisingly quiet throughout the film. He’d fully expected to piss off the people around them with their whispering, he’d already made peace with the fact that his boyfriend was a trivia monster. 

He hadn’t talked though, instead just peacefully enjoying the film. He’d been snuggled up to Derek the whole time, head on his shoulder and hands clasped. 

The car ride home though, it was like a bomb went off.

Immediately he launched into a detailed account of the filming processes behind the movie, complete with the trivia that Derek had secretly missed throughout (“Dracula's castle was actually painted on a sheet of glass, it wasn’t an actual set.” and “this whole movie is essentially the play of the same name just minus the epilogue by Edward Van Sloan.”).

This was what was so attractive about Spencer Reid. 

He was a man with a lot of passion, who went out of his way to learn everything he could about the things that interested him. It reminded him of when children went through phases while they were young. Specifically, the act of learning every possible thing they could about very niche subjects. His sister had gone through a pretty extreme rock phase when they were little, and he’d had to hear all about geodes and crystals for weeks.

That’s what it was like dating Spencer, but with everything. He knew so much about so many things, he knew so much about the world and what it had to offer, it was no wonder he talked so much. It’s because he was excited because he cared so much. He couldn’t fathom what it must be like to be full of so much information, naturally, it would bubble over sometimes. 

Eventually, Derek was able to slip a question in when his boyfriend took a pause for breath. He wasn’t desperate to talk or anything, but he did want an answer to a question. 

“So you had a good time tonight, baby?”

“Of course I did, Derek,” He rushed out. For a second it seemed like the rambling would continue, whether about his enjoyment or reverting back to the trivia, but it was almost like Spencer had to catch himself. It was like watching someone realize that they could slow down if they wanted to. 

“Of course I did, Derek.” He repeated, his voice much softer than before. 

With that, a silence settled on them. It wasn’t awkward, or uncomfortable, it was there like a blanket, protecting them from the outside world. 

He was just so happy. Derek liked to think that he was a pretty upbeat guy, he had to be in his line of work. If he let himself be sad for too long he’d more than likely fall into a mental pit that just seemed to come with the FBI. The world he lived in was a morbid one, full of sickos and victims. 

Because of this, he did his best to keep his life positive. He had playful banter with his co-workers to brighten his day, he had hobbies outside of work, hell part of the reason that he adopted Clooney was because that little ball of sunshine had made him smile. In short, he was a generally happy guy who lived a generally happy life. 

This though was so much different. This was a different kind of happiness. He felt like he was on top of the world just from Spencer holding his hand, or smiling at him with those big doe eyes. He had cared for this man for so long that finally getting to take him out to dinner and a movie was enough to make him smile like a lunatic. 

“You know,” Spencer said, pulling Derek out of his smile-ridden thoughts with a small voice. “That was the first movie that someone took me to.”

“Really?” He didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but he couldn’t really help it. The first movie that he’d ever seen with someone else?

“Yeah, excluding my mom, I’ve always gone to see movies by myself. Then when she was institutionalized I just went to see them on my own.” He shrugged, like this was something normal for him, and started picking at a loose thread on his sleeve. “In high school, I didn’t really have any friends to go see movies with, plus I was too young to get into the R rated ones. Then in college, I was juggling all of my school work and visiting my mom. I didn’t have time to make friends, so when a movie came out that I wanted to see, I’d just go alone.”

“What about after school? I mean I know that our jobs are busy but you’ve never gone to see a movie with the girls?”

He shook his head again. “I’ve asked them to come with me a few times, but usually I want to see things that they don’t, so I can’t really fault them for not wanting to come to a Korean film festival with me.”

“Was it in Korean?” Derek pried, and Spencer gave an exasperated eye roll.

“I offered to translate!”

He laughed, a good natured, hearty laugh that seemed to pull in Spencer too, who chuckled with him for a second. 

“But yeah, first movie date.” Spencer finished, nodding in affirmation as they both kept their eyes on the street in front of them. 

“Well, I’m grateful that I got to be the one to take you out.”

“Yeah, me too.”

He wanted to ask him so many questions. Derek was his ‘first’ for so many things, so many big and important things. Yet, as he was discovering, he was the first for so many little ones as well. How many things would Derek get to do with him that no one else ever had? How many people had missed out on the beauty that was Spencer Reid? How many little life events had Spencer missed out on as a result of his brain?

More importantly, could Derek make all of that waiting worth it? Was Derek worthy of that?

“Was it worth the wait?” He asked. 

Spencer looked away from the road then, and up at Derek instead. In the soft lights of the street lamps, he looked beautiful, all pale skin and honey-colored eyes. Those same eyes that Derek had looked into so many times before had so much emotion in them that even Derek, an experienced profiler, couldn’t place them all. He could see glimpses of admiration, of awe, of a certain kind of disbelief that only accompanied the most surprising of moments in life. 

When Spencer answered him, he knew that they had long since stopped talking about the movie and had started talking about an unexplainable more.

“It was everything, Derek. Everything.”

________________________________

Everything.

This was everything.

Derek Morgan still had a problem, and that problem was still one Spencer Reid. 

See, it used to be that his problem was that he couldn’t get him out of his head. He used to catch himself thinking about Spencer so many times throughout his day, lost in an endless sea of what-ifs.

Now, his problem had shifted a bit. As Garcia had put it oh-so-delicately, his problem had weight now. Because now he would look up from his desk throughout the day, and he’d catch his baby boy’s eye. He’d get soft smiles sprinkled across his day. He’d get Spencer at home, on his sofa, wrapped up in his hoodie, and reading a book. 

Now, Derek knew what it was like to have Spencer, there were no what-ifs anymore. Now, there was the only reality. 

The reality was that Spencer still had issues with touch, and some days he’d flinch away from even Derek on instinct. He still had nightmares, and crying fits. There would still be times when Spencer put himself in harm’s way for the sake of other people, and there would still be times when Spencer would get jealous of other people’s recognition. 

This all came with good though, because now Derke would be there to soothe away his insecurities, to give him the praise and love that he yearned for so much. Derek could be there to soothe away the fits, and to keep the nightmares and bay. 

Just like he was there for Spencer, Spencer would be there for him. Already Spencer had soothed away aching loneliness in his heart, in his family home that was missing a family. 

They’d found each other, and loved each other, despite their demons.  
__________________________

“Love is the light by which all are brought forward out of the darkness.”  
-LeeAnn Taylor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it!  
> Thank you all for your incredible feedback, you guys really made me feel good about my content and I'm increasingly grateful!
> 
> That being said, I'm still really critical of how this piece turned out. I'm not entirely pleased, but I didn't want to let myself abandon this. I think I'm going to do a few one-shots to accompany this fic, so be sure to subscribe to me or follow me on Tumblr @deadbythursday if you're interested! I've been posting a lot of fic concepts over there lately, so if you're interested in reading any of those let me know!
> 
> I have a mini fic in the works right now, it'll be about three chapters in total and that should be up sometime this week or next!
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much for the love on this fic, thank you Dani for putting up with me (@reid-and-writing on Tumblr) and I hope that this doesn't disappoint!

**Author's Note:**

> This fic heavily uses Season 3 Episode 13 as a guide, with some dialogue from characters being nearly exact to the episode. With that being said, some conversations will be changed or overdramatized for the purpose of the plot.
> 
> I hope that you guys enjoyed it! Posting may be sporadic as I edit, but please let me know how you felt in the comments!


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